| Re: untitled by nicole081083 |
Sasha 68.49.8.49 |
15-Aug-05/1:17 PM |
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| Re: sad moments by rbooey |
Sasha 68.49.8.49 |
15-Aug-05/1:26 PM |
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Please, fix the misspellings. You don't have anything exciting or artful here, just a dull meditation on the afterlife. I have been forced to read many, many poems like this and smile indulgently at their authors and say "it's nice." Online, however, I have no compunction about telling you that this poem is worthless. I mean that as no offense, I'm just telling you what I think.
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| regarding some deleted poem... |
Sasha 68.49.8.49 |
15-Aug-05/1:49 PM |
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Now this is just plain fecal
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| Re: The Box by PsydewaysTears |
Dovina 69.175.32.104 |
15-Aug-05/2:47 PM |
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| Re: Written while Kayaking by Sasha |
Dovina 69.175.32.104 |
15-Aug-05/3:01 PM |
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You had me with the first verse - really descriptive. But as it relates to arogance and Narcissusism and the rest, well, I don't see it relating.
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| Re: Let Go by nicole081083 |
Dovina 69.175.32.104 |
15-Aug-05/3:04 PM |
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At lesst fix the spelling, grammar and tense problems.
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| Re: untitled by nicole081083 |
Dovina 69.175.32.104 |
15-Aug-05/3:06 PM |
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Pretty good rhythm. Fix the spelling! But mostly try to say it in a less trite way.
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| Re: Puck by whispern_smoke_wisp |
Dovina 69.175.32.104 |
15-Aug-05/3:31 PM |
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I don't see why that makes it "a good thing."
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| regarding some deleted poem... |
Dovina 69.175.32.104 |
15-Aug-05/3:46 PM |
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Will the box of inane and senseless missives I left on your doorstep return to me marked âShipment Refused,â but contain, in reality, repentant flowers and gestures of reconcillation? No answer needed. I can already hear the beginnings of âLoser, loser, loser.â
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| Re: How Angels Sleep by Dovina |
Bethy 24.222.32.147 |
15-Aug-05/4:24 PM |
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I really love this Dovina...its beautiful...:) Bethy
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| regarding some deleted poem... |
Dovina 69.175.32.104 |
15-Aug-05/5:09 PM |
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I like the rhythm and the theme. "with the heartbreak" could lose the "the" I think. And I see no deed for the "..." The last line seems unsupported as a statement without reason.
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| Re: Sadness by that_funny_girl |
AM I EVIL? 24.70.95.203 |
16-Aug-05/12:31 AM |
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fukin loved it very detaild
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| Re: Crazy by that_funny_girl |
AM I EVIL? 24.70.95.203 |
16-Aug-05/12:35 AM |
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sounds to me like u have been betrayed from what ive read in ur poems
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| Re: Car Ride by that_funny_girl |
AM I EVIL? 24.70.95.203 |
16-Aug-05/12:38 AM |
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i like the poem itself....but i dont understand the ending
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| Re: Because Life is a Game by that_funny_girl |
AM I EVIL? 24.70.95.203 |
16-Aug-05/12:41 AM |
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i like this one....very truthful
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| Re: A Prayer by that_funny_girl |
AM I EVIL? 24.70.95.203 |
16-Aug-05/12:43 AM |
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who hasnt asked god what are they here for
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| Re: How Angels Sleep by Dovina |
Bobjim 143.167.177.3 |
16-Aug-05/3:20 AM |
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Nice poem. Not my view on angels, but I won't let that detract from it. -8-
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| Re: Storm Damage by Caducus |
Caducus 172.214.67.16 |
16-Aug-05/3:56 AM |
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God help me if Dark Angel sees this.
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| regarding some deleted poem... |
Dovina 69.175.32.104 |
16-Aug-05/3:10 PM |
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I'm having trouble with the pronoun "it." Used three times, "it" surely carries something in tow, but what? The fact that "it knows" complicates the issue. I'll hold off voting for now.
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| Re: Poem for a Snowstorm by crooked_smile |
Dovina 69.175.32.104 |
16-Aug-05/4:12 PM |
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I think this could be said in fewer words, and in more words spelled right. You've got the makings of a poem here, but before posting, please look for repetition and loose ends.
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