| Re: The burden of faith by Bobjim |
Dovina 69.175.32.104 |
16-Aug-05/5:47 PM |
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The first seven lines are good. After that, you add something to the requirements for faith faith, something unnecessary in my opinion - faith in certain people. I don't see how "the core of my faith would be eroded" if I fail to take someone's word for something. Doesn't the Bible tell us to judge these things?
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| Re: Poem for a Snowstorm by crooked_smile |
Sasha 68.49.8.49 |
16-Aug-05/5:59 PM |
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| Re: a killer world by AM I EVIL? |
Bobjim 143.167.132.31 |
17-Aug-05/4:34 AM |
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Oh dear. All in all, I think I wouldn't notice you were gone and I'm trying my hardest to forget. Also, giraffe has an 'e' and in the penultimate line it should be you're not your.
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| Re: Yellow Leather Innards by PsydewaysTears |
Bethy 24.222.32.168 |
17-Aug-05/11:41 AM |
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Jeepers...I like this poem...very flowing...yet the subject is a little on the interesting side...:) Bethy
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| Re: Little Orange Petal Flower by i_am_the_popsicle |
Bethy 24.222.32.168 |
17-Aug-05/11:43 AM |
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Nice...yet sad...:) Bethy
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| regarding some deleted poem... |
Bethy 24.222.32.168 |
17-Aug-05/11:47 AM |
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cause and affect...:) Bethy
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| Re: Storm Damage by Caducus |
Bethy 24.222.32.168 |
17-Aug-05/11:50 AM |
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| Re: Little Orange Petal Flower by i_am_the_popsicle |
Bethy 24.222.32.211 |
17-Aug-05/12:01 PM |
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With the changing seasons, your spirit dies then is reborn...its sad, but then if we could all be little orange flowers...we could refresh ourselves seasonally and be new again...sounds good eh...lol :) :) Bethy
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| Re: Puck by whispern_smoke_wisp |
Bethy 24.222.32.211 |
17-Aug-05/12:04 PM |
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hehehe...I made a mistake once...but I was wrong...lol cool poem :) Bethy
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| Re: The burden of faith by Bobjim |
Bethy 24.222.32.211 |
17-Aug-05/12:10 PM |
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Yes, God did enter my mind...but I was kinda thinking about my Dad...:) Bethy
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| Re: The Story of Our Lives by woodstock20000 |
Bethy 24.222.32.211 |
17-Aug-05/12:14 PM |
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good poem...how about this for a last line...
In the life hereafter...;)
I really like this...its a fav!!! Bethy
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| Re: Angel by Butterfly1120 |
Lindz14 65.93.139.23 |
17-Aug-05/1:29 PM |
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This is great -8-
Lindz14
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| regarding some deleted poem... |
Lindz14 65.93.139.23 |
17-Aug-05/1:31 PM |
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I'm feeling it keep up the good work -9-
Lindz14
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| Re: As I sit alone by baby_d |
Lindz14 65.93.139.23 |
17-Aug-05/1:33 PM |
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| Re: Who I am by Butterfly1120 |
Lindz14 65.93.139.23 |
17-Aug-05/1:38 PM |
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Pretty hardcore -7-
Lindz14
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| Re: How Angels Sleep by Dovina |
INTRANSIT 152.163.100.67 |
17-Aug-05/3:15 PM |
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please drop the full stop at the end of s-2. some stanzas have a submissive beat others don't. why?
I got interchangeability between man/god/angels.
For some reason that works for me.
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| regarding some deleted poem... |
INTRANSIT 152.163.100.67 |
17-Aug-05/3:23 PM |
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great title! I think nuclear when you say -melt. I smell something to do with Muslim extremists .
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| Re: Written while Kayaking by Sasha |
INTRANSIT 152.163.100.67 |
17-Aug-05/3:31 PM |
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I suggest, kill s-3 and s-4, save the penultimate and attach it to the bottom of s-2. Leave the end.
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| regarding some deleted poem... |
INTRANSIT 152.163.100.67 |
17-Aug-05/3:47 PM |
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I don't know what to say about this other than it looks like more raw material than anything else. However, it is good stock, like Hickory. I would like to see the rewrite.
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| regarding some deleted poem... |
INTRANSIT 152.163.100.67 |
17-Aug-05/4:00 PM |
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