Re: Apollinaire: Mirabeau Bridge by Sasha	INTRANSIT 205.188.116.69	26-Aug-05/6:16 AM
I just went back and read Zodiacs- Come away with me Carly- and it seemed to echo the sound/rhythm of a villanelle. So does this, to me. Am I right? Or do I need therapy? :/
Re: Quietus Proprietus by INTRANSIT	zodiac 212.118.19.227	26-Aug-05/6:45 AM
No, you shouldn't. It's bordering on overcleverness now (you know the kind: the turn-of-phrase or hidden rhyme won't fit in the poem but you just can't stop yourself from including it.) I like all of this except "she was in the perfect autumn ensemble"
Re: The Moment of Over by Bethy	Bobjim 86.136.123.199	26-Aug-05/4:05 PM
This is an amazing poem. Hope this isn't based on a true story. -10- and fave
Re: Tarragon by D. $ Fontera	LilMsLadyPoet 205.188.116.69	26-Aug-05/4:11 PM
I adore: "Her voice weaves sweet,"...awesome line...perhaps change chasses to 'shifts'?... 'She shifts and her hips send thoughts of romance'...etc.
Re: orange crumble by impert&ent	LilMsLadyPoet 205.188.116.69	26-Aug-05/4:21 PM
spall? typo? (spill, fall?) made up word? new word I have somehow managed to miss? gap in my vocabulary? What of this wall?...you described it, now I wonder about it...perhaps you could add to this, make it more than just a description. Does this wall match how you feel? How the area feels? Dark and crumbling? Is it decaying while everything else around it is newly built and valued? Is there a contrast you can include, to make this wall interesting? Does is separate you from something, does it line something, does it hold up something of worth, or left to decay as if it is nothing, when it is in fact something? As it stands, it just stands and does not garner much if any attention. I need more than this if I am to take notice of this wall of yours.
regarding some deleted poem...	Bethy 24.222.32.243	26-Aug-05/6:52 PM
very nice description...:) Bethy
Re: Apollinaire: Mirabeau Bridge by Sasha	Bethy 24.222.32.243	26-Aug-05/6:56 PM
Days go by me yet I stay...I like this line...This is enchanting...I can see this poem...:) Bethy *9*
Re: Heaven is an uninspired piece of art by Enkidu	Bethy 24.222.32.243	26-Aug-05/6:59 PM
I really like this...it sings...it flows...:) Bethy
Re: Come Home Soon by Sunshine Conkey	Bethy 24.222.32.243	26-Aug-05/7:02 PM
Goose bumps...*10* the last two verse are my favs...:) Bethy
regarding some deleted poem...	Bethy 24.222.32.243	26-Aug-05/7:05 PM
good blog! :) Bethy
Re: Crisscrossing My Mind by woodstock20000	Bethy 24.222.32.243	26-Aug-05/7:11 PM
it was both...:) Bethy
Re: American Semele (Edit) by Sasha	Bethy 24.222.32.243	26-Aug-05/7:16 PM
This is a favorite...*10* :) Bethy
Re: Come Home Soon by Sunshine Conkey	Sunshine Conkey 205.188.116.69	26-Aug-05/7:59 PM
Thanx: my 21 year old son is in Iraq
regarding some deleted poem...	ALChemy 65.188.89.69	27-Aug-05/7:02 AM
Pretty
Re: Apollinaire: Mirabeau Bridge by Sasha	ALChemy 65.188.89.69	27-Aug-05/7:22 AM
I've never been the best at punctuation but shouldn't there be commas or something between "over/joy" and "come/bells". Was this a lyrical style poem? Sounds lyrical. It's probably the refrains that do it.
Re: Lessons(revised) by bellafuego	ALChemy 65.188.89.69	27-Aug-05/7:30 AM
Truly an epiphany.
regarding some deleted poem...	LilMsLadyPoet 64.12.116.67	27-Aug-05/6:36 PM
Thanks for reading and the comments. Now looking at it, I think my 'spell correction' did not catch whispy...should it not be wispy? I have mispelled before, as it seems it should have an h in it, but if I remember correctly, it does not...? LilMsLadyPoet
Re: The Moment of Over by Bethy	Dovina 69.175.32.104	27-Aug-05/7:18 PM
The rhythm is so good that the few lines out-of-rhythm really stand out.
regarding some deleted poem...	Sasha 68.49.8.49	27-Aug-05/10:40 PM
Feels Very much like Lorca
Re: California triolets by zodiac	Sasha 68.49.8.49	27-Aug-05/10:42 PM
This is pure music!