Great poem I love it!!!!!!!!!!

What????

Very good. Are we split personality???

I think you could have put a lot more into this poem. If this really happened I am sorry for your loss.

Some good lines, but as a story, it lacks continuity. The German thing comes too late.

"?in the sea / in the sea" looks like a console query

I f t h e d a m n e d s t an z a s d i d n ' t a l l s a y t h e s a m e t h i n g . . . . . . . basically.

And 18345 which doesn't need work. these are good examples of relatively simple rhyme that can easily ratchet up a poem.

Please consider submitting this poem to http://hellicane.blogspot. com -- poems by, for and about the victims of Hurricane Katrina. Thanks.

Please consider submitting this wonderful poem to http://hellicane.blogspot.com -- poems by, for and about the victims of Hurricane Katrina. Thanks.

Oops, that post is http://hellicane.blogspot.com

Im sorry this is not really the type of poem that is meant for a ignorant teenage viewer like myself maybe you could come up with something a bit more oh lets see why don't you just use someone elses poem and throw a few new words in it to make it yours

I'm sorry how old were you when you wrote this?

Beautiful. A wonderful parody of the kind of crap teenagers seem to churn out. You've managed to mimic the brain-dead internet "i'm" and added that special flavor of mediocrity with such brilliantly planted cunt-spellings as "your" for "you're," "everytime" for "every time," "loyality," "royality," "deceave." In short, everything from the pervasive triteness to the rhythms limp as geriatric penis shows how ingeniously you have studied teenage doggerel and how faithfully and convincingly you can mimic and parody it. A well deserved 10.

Another excellent parody. Keep up the good work!

Though it still needs some work, I think you should look at this. jsp id=102847.

Operative word: well as in- well for water. Put him in the well. tell us about his terrible scratchings to get out, how the well crumbles above him, how you want to rescue him in the "bucket of your love". Okay thats corny. But the metaphor would make a better poem.

This reads like some childs diary entry, and it bores the life out of me. I need a nap.

also I'm an asshole.

Please omit "now" from the second line. "you're" in line 3. "act" in line 10. "deceive" in line 13. comma after unfortunately.