If I were, say, High Emperor of Poetry, I'd make a law forbidding the use of 'as' for linking clauses.

Femininity. Three 'i's. Otherwise, not bad.

I just saw Pain and, man, he's shaking in his boots.

"Sex and the city is this feminism?" A TV show can't be feminism. Even liking or disliking it can't be feminism.

If you're drunk and horny, dying looks alright, I guess.

The people who needed to know this already think you're nuts, on account of your hair and hanging around all day on a pastel-blue poetry site.

The people who care don't need more convincing.

Nicely done, and with such a good rhythm that the few lines that break cadence really stand out.

Good. Play around with the line breaks a little more. See if you can get any added effect from them.

Do you mean Frederick Illinois?

It left me wanting to shoot Fredrick Illinois

Great!!!

cheese

"broad is the road that leads to destruction, and many enter through it." A good take on this. A prose poem, not free verse.

It's generally not a good idea to give your poem the same name as a movie, good or bad, similar or not. Also, loose should be lose.

After my little sister attempted suicide, a counselor told her it was all my brothers' and my fault. Now she lives with my mom and collects Middle America postcards with nothing written on them. I can't tell her anything, so I just send postcards.

Disagree that this is overwrought (well, some lines are, but for the most part I don't think it is)--the words are simple and the emotion strongly conveyed. Some problems with the ending--it starts to fall apart with all the fathersistermotherlovers and the repetition of "listen to me now," but the bulk of it is pretty well done. The Cain and Abel ref is a little too obvious (for my taste)--think it'd be better implied. The concrete homey details--sharing baths, etc., give the larger themes a face, which works nicely. Some editing would make it even better.

Like it, amusing and fun. verse with Now thank the lord above stood out a little too much for my likings, too much of a change of rythm, or maybe the wrong sort of change

"the horizon becomes the sunlights throne, orange purple red and gold" are very good lines, I thought this was simple and nice, and probobally deserved more than some of the votes its been given.

I bearded that Christ with a wipe Of the HIV-positive type, But the wipe, it made raids On his bum (being AIDS With a passion for Negro-Christ pipe.) So I bearded him once with a nappy To cover his breasts (they were flappy.) At least he looked cleaner, But as for demeanor We still couldn't tell if he was happy.