poemranker ::Fredrick Illinois by rahson_s

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Other № 137175

Fredrick Illinois

Member since 2005 · Posted 19 Jan 2006 · 3 comments

The battle between me and them, those wanting my life taken, my world, my situation, my gun charge, the time I face, I am the poster boy of crimes committed, the rapes, the murder, the robberies that took place in my neck of the woods, I live it, I hate it, I've grown to live this life, forced back into my square, masturbating my hard days ahead in a napkin, the after party of a long night at the club, the last dance floor I'll ever dance on, now a future of a death sentence moves me, the actuality of being a product of Brooklyn, I ask for no remorse, even though they created this monster I am the only one living through the madness, I'm waiting for those wishing to take what's mine, there’s nothing worse than this kind of living, sentenced to live here, I cry for no one, I will always be Fredrick Illinois

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mean 6.40 weighted 5.17 rank 5043 views 158 View voting details →

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3 comments

[9] ALChemy 19-Jan-06/3:00 PM Reply
Good. Play around with the line breaks a little more. See if you can get any added effect from them.
[8] Dovina 19-Jan-06/3:12 PM Reply
Do you mean Frederick Illinois?
[6] cyan9 19-Jan-06/3:13 PM Reply
It left me wanting to shoot Fredrick Illinois