Dovina
on some deleted poem
20 Jan 2006, 2:01 PM
I'm thinking of the La Brea Tar Pits, but nothing more. There seems to be a lot of nothing going on.
IMPROVED--WITH AIDS (of course)!!!
I bearded that Jesus with meat,
Thinking later to have such a treat,
but I left him untended
and alas! He ascended!
Now Iâve only got meat fit to beat.
Next, I bearded his Christ with fried chicken,
but some âranker had soon thrust his dick in.
After eating that stew
of Godhead and spew
With AIDs I was suddenly stricken!
Then I tried bearding Jesus with fishâ
was God ever a tastier dish?
Topped with some tartar,
a succulent martyr!
(Smelled like foul hell, but delish!)
nada y pues nada . . . but deliver us from nada . . .
I bearded black Jesus with tape
So he can't snitch 'bout the nun I raped
I shoved up her chaste buns
an old sawed off shotgun
and then-BOOM!-whoops my mistake.
Gah! Line breaks. Fucking line breaks.
Splendid...
Really liked the first verse, nice feel all the way through, last 2 lines warming as well.
Wretched
Just in time for Awards Season, it's
=====THE BEARDY AWARDS!!!!!1!!1?=====
Let's have a look at our contestants, shall we?
CATEGORY #1 - BEST BEARD MATERIAL
a) AIDS, zodiac
b) Zodiac's ginger chest boobs, Fraser Allonby, Q.C.
c) Meat, biteme
d) Cricket, Stephen Robbins
CATEGORY #2 - MOST AUTHENTIC NEGRO REACTION
a) "I los da die", Stephen or Fraser, I can't remember who
b) AIDS, zodiac
c) Not thinking it was funny, -=Dark_Angel=-,P.I.
d) Escape, Stephen Robbins
e) Lynching, AlChemy
CATEGORY #3 - MOST AUTHENTIC CHRIST REACTION
a) Turning white, zodiac
b) Smelling like a rich migrant Jew, edpeterson
c) AIDS, (tied) zodiac and biteme
d) Not thinking it was funny, -=Dark_Angel=-,P.I.
CATEGORY #4 - MOST TASTELESS OVERALL
a) "A money shot", -=Dark_Angel=-,P.I.
b) "Rope", AlChemy
c) "Paper", zodiac
d) "A virus", zodiac
CATEGORY #5 - BEST RHYME
a) Martyr/tartar, biteme
b) Virus/admirers/prioress, zodiac
c) Beard 'im/sheared 'im/weird quim, -=Dark_Angel=-,P.I.
d) Monopoly/unstoppably/Thermopalye, Stephen Robbins
CATEGORY #6 - BEST USE OF UNCONVENTIONAL RHYTHM IN A LIMERICK
a) "Monopoly", Stephen Robbins
b) "Crepe", Stephen Robbins
c) "Milk", Stephen Robbins
d) "A brogue", Stephen Robbins
CATEGORY #7 - BEST ENJAMBMENT IN A LIMERICK
a) "money / shot", -=Dark_Angel=-,P.I.
b) "material that's / ne'er been used", Fraser or Stephen
c) "a few / gems", edpeterson
d) "virus / known as AIDS", zodiac
Cast your votes! All tonight's winners' fathers will receive an authentic CHRIST BEARD* exactly one year before their own births! Yay!
(*=Beard material to be determined)
How much is infinity minus infinity? How about infinity minus 1?
I have no brothers but two sisters. It pretty much works the same way with them. Go figure.
Here's a 10. Don't kill yourself.
The longest Haiku I've ever read.
Well I never! At least not from that end.
I'm not that happy with the layout though. Play with it for a while(pun-alert!) and see what comes out.
Like:
My tongue's
loose
slide
would soon
let slip this truth,
bruise-blue,
kept fast behind
these sentinal teeth.
We meet,
touch,
fuck;
we seldom speak much more
than surface gloss.
From niceties
to wordless heat
we move. Here
with your big
hand warm on my neck,
I swallow
words thick with promise,
glistening like larva
trapped in tissue webs,
a palate ridged as a whale's.
I'd consume you
whole, take you deep,
sliding
soft as a worm,
down
down
in a sudden
gasp.
Where's she been. I miss getting slapped around.
This was called "Sleeping with the Enemy," however due to recent complaints I found that this was also the title to some piece of shit movie and thus could not use it. After hours upon hours of Trial and Error(also the title to a movie) I came up with this, I hope you like it.
So I bearded Black Jesus with spasm-
-like ways of saying Yassuh and Yas'm.
Though you might think it cruel,
Why, I'll tell you, though, you'll
Hardly know, my good man, that he has 'em!
Nice. I'm not a girl so I can't identify with it but nice.
Do you mean "Inevitability"?
Is this poem supposed to make you sound like some kind of bad-ass or supreme evil doer?
Like your new screen name.