Very interesting piece, nicely composed and expressed.

The best. :d

Posibly the best thing I've read in a week TODAY! JOE-JOE HAS WON THE ESTEAMED AND MOST ADMONISHABLE GOLDEN QUE-TIP AWARDE. CONGRATULATIONS FEW HAVE DARED TRY. FEW HAVE RECIEVED. CLEAN YOUR EARS WELL JOE-JOE, CLEAN YOUR EARS WELL MY SWEET LITTLE MAN.

SHIT!!!!!!!! This win's the first ever HORUSIAN PARODY AWARD! or the HPA (hispictos pubiescent accrusion) The first ever! That was fucking hilarious. I'm serious I was just smoking a joint and reading this and fucking rocking back and forth with a cackle cracking garulous verve emmiting from-a hole in my face. 10!

What If he breaks into your house one night and bleeds in your funnel but? Then you'll have BRAIDS!

Good job Bratsy, Don't allow some of the pagans here to dissuade you. If you don't want the comment with the vulgar language, you can delete it by clicking the red x in the bottom right. Keep it up! 10

Emotionally telling,You started on the seashore and ended up in bed. I think I would have continued narrating from the precipice, that just seemed to say ao much about your feelings.

Well, I got about halfway through this, but it just doesn't grab me. Emotional needs and all that. We all need a little reciprocation of our emotions, Lily seems no exception.

Damn, how long did it take to submit this? I'll have to try to read it when I have more time.

yes. :)

Short and sweet...which is more than I can say for myself lately. 10.

I like this; simple, but really gets a rhythm.

Being terrible at art (me) and enjoying your style gives this a 9 for rhyme!

This feels very real, makes me envy the upbringing of your son. But why does every one of your poems have poop or pee in it?

Very Nice, spelling = Crystalise The last two stanzas are the weakest, I think the punctuation in them could do with a little work, but otherwise excellent.

Ace use of "smiley" to rhyme with "glee" and "looney" to rhyme with "sea"!!!111

That first stanza is very powerful, I like the idea of knowing where the shadow would next fall as an illustation of knowing her. But I have to say that after a few more stanza of "I really know her" I felt the urge to start skimming; I think you might want to distill some of that into a smaller, stronger concoction. Once you have that, you can more easily develop that image of her preventing the fall - which is also pretty cool. So, I think there is a good concept here, the lines are a bit too dark here and there - worth pursuing though.

Despite the previous vote of ten, I really wasn't convinced until the last line - and really, if it was a poem of just that one line, I would be just as satisfied. this bit in particular: "Left me scraping our palette of lost love" gave me a little grimace. Dont' get me wrong though, I do really like the idea of the empty easel as it relates to a missing person, then the memory of him/her as the painting; that's really cool. Just thinking the palete related stuff feels awkward - complicates the composition of the poem ... (keep it to three things, one that contrasts with the other two, right?)

First off, and I haven't even read the thing - the physical look of it (the concreteness) is very appealing. Okay, gonna read it now... easy stuff first: consider "... by [the] poet's pen" (possessive pen). I realize you might have intentionally pluralized poets and referred to pen in a singular sense, but thats gonna be too complicated for most people. The general idea is well stated, and I think it buys you a "bye" on the slightly trite language in stanza three. I love the dipping cupped hands - fairly stunning. Tweak stanza three and you'll have a real winner.

typo police: dang s/b dank.