ecargo
on Twinkle Twinkle Little Star by Yatasuma
20 Oct 2003, 8:26 PM
Good sustained imagery and the repetition of phrases is effective. Overall, a well-done sonnet, worthy of a better title (says one who sucks at titles).
a fithing epitaph - I with I had thome of my teef weft. Wiath a minuth - how come I can thay the 'th' sound in 'thome' but I canth thay the 'th' sound in 'teef'??
thunofabith.
I'm going to save a limb from an electronic tree and just agree with hatters hare completely.
There is some wonderful language in this, particularly in the "Unfortunately..." stanza.
Watch out for dry sockets. Still, I guess I am not up for odes to teeth.
Beat us over the head. Go ahead. Beat us.
this is good. reminds me of Bright Eyes. 10.
Strong images. Usually long poems don't really capture my attention but this one did for some reason. 9.
Good stuff, but I think you can snip away to get it flowing better. I'd cut "This" from the title. Cut "thin" from the "wink of moon" - good line by the way. Little things like that.
poetandknowit
on When I say I'm a 14 yr old girl I mean 75 year old man by Shardik
20 Oct 2003, 10:04 PM
Cutting edge!!!!!!!! Super!!!!!!
poetandknowit
on You'd sell more hats, mugs, and shirts if they said... by Shardik
20 Oct 2003, 10:42 PM
So what.
The Death of My Bend (Free churo) by rockymagnesium
The ache is continuously solemn.
Throbbing in dissatisfaction and glee,
Wisdom tooth rises like a golem,
Companion from youth, socks soaked in pee
I will miss you naked on bamboo
When youâre gonesky.
unfallable.
excellent visuals, a soft sensual flow throughout..
Cute little snippet, relieved it was about death in a very light hearted way.
Mine is the Earl of March.
http://www.goodwood-racing.com/images/pa
There is just no understanding (to me) the why of the popular idols. Seen Elvis lately. Perhaps it is because there are no moral issues or admonishment involved.
Good question, Well asked!
I doesn't know why they - I've thought about it too.
I've ne'r heard of Andrea Corr, btw - but I've just looked her up, thanks.
My idols (though thats a pretty strong word) come and go and and vary by subject.
In music, I'd have to say Don Henley; poetry - Wallace Stevens. For racing, I'd have to agree with Mr. D. Angel ...
The tooth may be gone. The ache of wisdom never parts.
I like Kurt Russel and Viggo Mortenson.