Would a gentle nighttime rain have helped to soothe this raucous Dark Corps ceremony? A "murder of crows", or "a stately procession of..."? Otherwise, nice.

You play the guitar? You must be very creative.

"Cherish" doesn't work.e with the "eh" suff-ends of the first two lines. How about "Warts ne'er Dimish."? A personal exercision and cauterization is in order. You may cherish that moment.

Indeed you both do. _-+=10=+-_

Splendid - 10- ignore Artie he is gay and didn't go to RGSHW

Quite good like getting caught fucking your sister's mouth -10-

Spanking the Monkey.... hmmmmm.... you've been calling those "900" numbers again, haven't you? Exseedingly seedy in a perversely caustic manner. I'll get back to you on the vote. I'm gonna "Marque" it on my screensaver for awhile.

look who gets the last laugh.. hrmm. wonderfull. 10

I hope that when you read this aloud to yourself you smile inside.

Harmonic in its dissonance. Interesting, I like this description a great deal. It is a simple indication of an unresolved but accepted complexity. My reading suggests the following change: 'a chorus harmonic in its six-legged dissonance, never completely soothing the restlessness inside' The second line reemphasizes the first I think (as opposed to contradicting it with a 'but'). Or maybe my reading was wrong - as can do.

excellente.

Beautiful. Reminds me of the ghosts of slavery, with the bowing attendant trees and the antique quality of the house/gown.

Quite witty and well done. Maybe there should be a surgeon general's warning on the packages of guitar strings?

Great ending there with the last 2 stanzas. The similies in almost every stanza were a little too frequent/repetitive for me, but nothing that the removal of a "like" here or there couldn't fix.

Delivered to the Pope in a cloud of censer during last kneeled communication? 23.99

Typo in the stanza before last (glimpsed) and peaceful's spelled wrong- unless that was a play on the word full (since his body was emptied of blood). Anyway, I think the rhyme makes this sound like one of your parody pieces, though the words aren't inappropriate or too cliche. You know you can improve this.

Somethings missing. Something small and important. Why do I want to read smile lure(s) fingers also, you do not show the thread that binds the smile to the rain and its thundering. You use the word 'weave' but do not. Smile-Fingers-Rain-Thundering. All lured? Some lured by certain ones, and not others? Show me the path, the formula here.

Rather straight forward and not wholly original by any means, but not bad. I would curb the didactic diddling toward the end.

I felt like I just read the longest sentence in the world. Why commas and no periods? Why is the title also the first line? Excellent last line, but some of the thinking seems incomplete and the transitions could uses tightening. Other than that – good work.

Hey fat boy, ride a real bike.