god'swife
on some deleted poem
1 Dec 2003, 10:34 AM
Their fear is greater than their faith.
some deleted user
on some deleted poem
1 Dec 2003, 10:52 AM
Brilliant, by which I mean...not so much...
Has a very nice feel, and I like the addressing of the issue violence begetting violence.
Not sure it is entirely appropriate though, you seem to stand back, coldly impinge on this battered wifes pain. Just to write a poem about it.
Poems about poetry writing I find a bit naff. The stand out here is 'so many long, artistically vacuous lines of prose' because that is exactly what it is. Good show.
like it, especially verse two, the quick rhythm then image 'sour grapes'.
I guess this is a play on - infinity is a monkey typing the entire works of shakespeare an infinite number of times.
Nicely written.
Playing with its absurdity.
It is oddly strange. The realisation (only about half way through for me) that the other person looking after your baby was god (whichever). Gave this a kind of playful theme out of context.
Good though
some deleted user
on some deleted poem
1 Dec 2003, 1:09 PM
boken, boken wings
Reads well, each line a small packaged thought.
I must continue leaping is a fairly weak end though.
Not sure if I would call it concrete either
fatwabulous.
Serious sweetness tastily spaced and punctuated -
such beautiful precision.
-9-
That's a beautiful picture of you leaping, really, pretty... Now here, let me point you towards the window. 7
a lovely, tight package - much enjoyed.
Something was weird about the last line, but then again, I'm cross eyed. Did you watch Carnivale last night?
Big fat bear crotch.
some deleted user
on some deleted poem
1 Dec 2003, 2:46 PM
Like an oil painting with slightly smudged edges...fabulous.
Did you hear that? *DOuCHE* there it is again, the sound of a dirty wife cleaning up her dirty mess.
You should leap into a good poem.
What no peelables?
This by far, and away, is Pulitzer material to the bone! I am the ONE! At least my socks think so.