some deleted user
on dreamer by timvick473662003
24 Jan 2004, 1:30 PM
May I also pray with "What is really real my own reality?" ?
some deleted user
on some deleted poem
24 Jan 2004, 1:36 PM
thoughtful folk singer
an earnest bowlful of face
spooning the muses
I really liked your poem!
andrewjtomas-
do you consider your poems to be above "elementary'?
Hey, your here too??? cool! anyway, like i said before...love your poem!
interestin enough...humf....makes me laugh for some reason. spose it is worth a 9?
What? somebody dropped an expensive vase? Melinda's 2 month-old baby puked on the bible during christening? The split second in time while the gangbangers bullet is penetrating your brain? WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT???????????
omigod this is the best pome I've read on this site since I came here. I spewed bavarian beer and veggie weiners all over my keyboard. Omigod, my gut hurts. I can't breathe. Whew.
This has nothing to do with the poem (sorry), but check out the poem "THe World" by HEnry Vaughan. Hes a old one. Tell me what you think by replying here or at one of my poems!
I kinda liked this. You need a double entendre for the title.
L5...A gasp sp quiet... sp---so?
And then again I see the whole stanza is skewed. Just to Jar?
Again the deliberate Jar? World floating away on the 3 missing sylabals?
some deleted user
on some deleted poem
24 Jan 2004, 3:03 PM
I'm not that sex.
some deleted user
on some deleted poem
24 Jan 2004, 3:26 PM
Quel est le sens derrière un nom tel que Joe-Joe? Ce nom il, ce Joe-Joe, signifier n'importe quoi me? Si oui, et je rencontre un autre Joe-Joe, signifiera-t-il n'importe quoi plus?
mmm, nice whimsy. I like whimsy. I didn't read it as suicide contemplation at all, re: rockmage's comment; if you meant it that way please fuck off and find a hotline.
Pretty please fix "before the tired river would soon cast me out"; it's not a permissible structure in English and thus is jarring. You could say "but" or "though" instead of before; I personally like:
------- BEGIN unsolicited edit --------
...while the tired river hesitated
to cast me out.
Then perhaps I would....
----- END unsolicited edit ---------
because it contributes to the whimsicalishness.
I like whimsy. Did I say that already? This is a purty whimsy.
Original and sophisticated.
Love the notions of being who we ARE and not what others want us to be.
A real archers bowfinger to conformity.
Never easy using numbers in a poem - you did well with this. The conclusion packs a punch
Sounds like the lost page of genesis.
The 1st line grabs and so the 8th