Sasha
on Dear Lord by simone_girard
14 Apr 2004, 7:32 PM
Not a sonnet.
Would you mind not recycling old poems by slightly editing them. It pushes the genuinely new creations off the "recent" list
Would you mind not recycling old poems by slightly editing them. It pushes the genuinely new creations off the "recent" list
Would you mind not recycling old poems by slightly editing them. It pushes the genuinely new creations off the "recent" list
Dan, what have you done?
Ahhhh - I get it. :O)
Dan garcia-Black
on The Idea of Fusion at the Beach (After Wallace Stevens) by coffeespoons
14 Apr 2004, 7:46 PM
"we sound like nothing but the wind"
Great thought because that's our job-- to teach the wind to speak.
Shuushin
on Dear M Foucault, or, How I knew our relationship was doomed by zodiac
14 Apr 2004, 7:47 PM
LoL. Brilliant.
Leets see, you don't have a nine yet...
oh, and it's "más romantica que EN Ingles" you need the preposition in Spanish, even in comparisons
Maybe we like this betterah?
Dig it man.
I must say, being a translator of poetry, a linguist, and a poet, that the idea of relative beauty of languages is a myth.
It is obvious to me that this poem was written by a native english speaker translating english clichés
into Spanish to make them sound fresh."te amo con todo mi corazón" for example certainly would not sound as good as the cliché "I love you with all my heart" from which it was translated.
Also it should be "te conozco" not "conozco tigo."
Shuushin
on The Idea of Fusion at the Beach (After Wallace Stevens) by coffeespoons
14 Apr 2004, 8:17 PM
I'll grant you the ending is Stevensish - I'm reminded more of Thoreau with the rest.
And there's not too much bad about that.
Help me understand why you consider this a Diptych.
Please, I'm not being sarcastic.
Oh. Diptych as it was two poems put together, and thought and action contrasted, in some ways. But mostly for the separate narratives...
Not iambic pentameter. -0-
O What whimsickal Britishy talk! Makes me want to say DO and IS with special emphasis with all the other chaps in my level. It's too bad all the real Brits on this site talk like deranged EastEnders wot bin nipped cushty inna Norff an Souff wivva Lord Lovell. But then I found out you're not British, just American, and I gave you a -5-.
GOOD! One of the very few poems on PoemRanker that is actually worth reading! Shortening of the lines would make it more immediate in effect and impact
the breath/death rhyme is cliché and expected (Other than shibboleth, seth, and elizabeth, there aren't any modern english words that rhyme with death/breath)
rather Well executed though
Tara57
on Dear M Foucault, or, How I knew our relationship was doomed by zodiac
14 Apr 2004, 10:35 PM
Ah Foucalt...lovely...I do believe Dear I hold your words dear- Dear
some deleted user
on Dear M Foucault, or, How I knew our relationship was doomed by zodiac
14 Apr 2004, 11:00 PM
The answer is yes, er maybe, er . . ., ah forget it, have an 8.