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Thorns (Free verse) by poetandknowit
Nothing is spoken. The door is simply shut. The television gasping for clarity is switched off, allowing the room to offer itself to moonlight. Breathing seems amplified, air cold and indifferent and all matter lay dead in the shifting darkness. We are equal in blackness. Shadows separate across the bed reaching for trousers and nightgown, the clumsy religion of cowering to cover what is not concealed. I could say something, that is my right but they did not expect me so soon and there are things they need to talk about. So I open the door take a last look at the living room furniture, the Titian imitation on the wall and leave my house.

Up the ladder: Family Portrait

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Arithmetic Mean: 6.0333333
Weighted score: 6.032392
Overall Rank: 1237
Posted: August 14, 2002 9:30 AM PDT; Last modified: August 14, 2002 9:30 AM PDT
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Comments:
[6] Tarquin De La Bog @ 213.120.56.45 | 14-Aug-02/10:01 AM | Reply
Good so far, but it's too vague. 6. You've left me wanting more, which I suppose is a good thing, but I want to know more details about the situation you describe. If I was feeling harsh, I'd suggest the poem is wishy-washy toss, but I'm not. I like the way it is left open to interpretation.
[9] brazen @ 12.90.41.7 | 14-Aug-02/11:01 AM | Reply
i think this is great. it pretty much describes a large part of my life when I dreaded coming home. if my lack of sleep could produce a better word then "beautiful" I'd use it, but thats the best I've got for now.
[7] <~> @ 167.206.181.179 | 14-Aug-02/11:35 AM | Reply
"allowing the room to offer itself
to moonlight" so pretty.
[7] horus8 @ 24.126.113.154 | 14-Aug-02/11:57 AM | Reply
parents can be real scary in the middle of the night...especially when you catch them humping and you've been drinking and you wanna hit them up for some motel cash and stuff, or a later curfew..this is my fave thus far of yours cuz it forced me to relive the experience and it has plenty of inuendos.............gaffle.jets.towelhead.rubble.poppy-plant.pashtun! (just an exercise of mine nothing to do with you or your poem) 7/101
[n/a] poetandknowit @ | 16-Aug-02/10:59 AM | Reply

You are a bigger whiner than anyone could have ever imagined. What is wrong with the poem? You said nothing to that extent. Break it apart; attack it with intelligence not stupidity, you fuck. That is what I am saying. You have nothing constructive whatsoever to say. You think you are clever; you are just stupid. Simple as that. Say something relevant. And although there is a Kansas City, Kansas, I live in Misery. So, find something worthwhile to come up with regarding that state. Your ramblings on Kansas make you sound inept. Write poetry. That is all anyone is asking.
[n/a] poetandknowit @ | 16-Aug-02/11:35 AM | Reply
so Hours8 is really Bachus. I get it now! The things we figure out after pedaling around the site for a few days. Fucking anonymity. And here I thought I was dealing with an amateur.
[7] horus8 @ 24.126.113.154 | 16-Aug-02/11:49 AM | Reply
you are....amateur/ amare to love/: a person who engages in a pursuit for pleasure and not as a profession...allow me to retort..you're work is mildly becoming, but i have no tolerance for steroid driven cattle, but then again you have forced me to amalgamate...now i have no choice but to offer my belly button to the lint inserter....care to swab with alchohol?r
[n/a] poetandknowit @ | 16-Aug-02/11:55 AM | Reply
Unfortunately, I am not shooting for "becoming". And if you would have been sober, we could have kept the fun going, but you blew it. It is quite an exercise for me in rage writing. And you call yourself an actor. I never lose my character, and I have never seen a cow up close.
[n/a] Venus @ 198.81.17.166 | 16-Aug-02/12:10 PM | Reply
Was it really supposed to be a secret? The dual identity of Horus8? One only has to check out the MP3 to see that Bachus is an alter ego. You gypsy rogue you!
[n/a] poetandknowit @ | 16-Aug-02/12:27 PM | Reply
I picked up it. But I was also thinking hours8 and you Dark Dude were the same and considering I do not delve into the websites of you creative hounds I was going to let it play out. I am from Misery; things easily go over my head. Like airplanes and such.
[7] horus8 @ 24.126.113.154 | 16-Aug-02/12:28 PM | Reply
no...she's definetly a venus...i'm for surely mars...good call venus on the gypsy rogue observation..funny thing about that..those japanese girls screaming and talking in the background were expensive and trashed on saki...boy..what a studio session that was...left me thinking, "what the fuck am i trying to do here?" oh..yeah..pretend i know what i'm talking about..when really i am as doe eyed and oblivious as a buddhist in vegas.. but in all honesty pk...that was my only puppet...i can almost see you creating one of your own now...if you aren't already someone elses..
[7] horus8 @ 24.126.113.154 | 16-Aug-02/12:36 PM | Reply
d.a flattery will get you every where...teenager? i was thinking collapsing embryo, but you are so adult and prostate enhanced my deviant fallen accuser..can't you just let me and ryan have our youth...since you now know of my gilded sugar tooth?h
[n/a] poetandknowit @ | 16-Aug-02/12:38 PM | Reply
Nope, I am comfortable in my own cowhide.
[7] god'swife @ 209.178.177.68 | 24-Aug-02/12:44 AM | Reply
good arc. Door opens, heroe enters, darkness gives way to revelation, door closes. It should be boiled down slightly. The 5th stanza is sound as is. 7
[n/a] -=Dark_Angel=-, P.I. @ 67.37.12.10 | 4-Sep-02/11:53 AM | Reply
It utterly mystifies me every time someone confuses -=Dark_Angel=- for horus8 (e.g. Christof's intial misinterpretation of A Mused Mystery), or seems to think that -=Dark_Angel=- is yet another of the many accounts run by the same person as horus8, Bachus, <{Baba^Yaga}>, and so on. First of all the -=Dark_Angel=- account is older than all of those, so if they did belong to the same person, horus8 would be the light jibbering relief alter ego of -=Dark_Angel=-. But I don't expect the more recent comers to poemranker to study the 'date joined' column on the users list. What's more important is that there is hardly any similarity whatsoever between -=Dark_Angel=- and the other characters. Obviously in the minds of the 'serious' poets now dominating this site, they are all 'different' (from the serious poets) in some way, and that is enough to consign them to the same bin. But how are they different? horus8, Bachus et al are easily matched together. They're not so much alter egos, as alternate names chosen randomly at log in and used to spout the same meaningless, pseudo-mystical-offbeat-poetic, drug-addled (or drug-acted) nonsense. -=Dark_Angel=-, on the other hand, is surely characterised by naughty and irreverent poetic subjects, mock-archaic language, lack of tolerance for pretension and teeny tripe, and sometimes unfathomably heavy sarcasm, but also, when he does decide to argue something, for his clarity and logic. The only similarity is that horus8 uses many of -=Dark_Angel=-'s favourite terms, such as 'ASL', 'Jesu' and 'beak'; however, any cursory review of the comment history will reveal that not only is horus8 shamelessly imitating -=Dark_Angel=-'s original use of these words, but that in some cases he didn't realise what they actually meant (see for example his use of 'ASL'). -=Dark_Angel=- is in fact much more similar to Settle, waltfreakinwhitman and beakism (though these accounts have been inactive for a while now). Maybe horus8 et al are all run by a super-troll, carefully constructing their faux-stoned messages as well as running other, more rational accounts, but in that case, there's no reason -=Dark_Angel=- would be one of them. In fact, it's much more likely to be one such as god'swife. I think my rant here is finished. And so sayeth -=Dark_Angel=-. For alway.
[3] Bachus @ 24.126.113.154 > -=Dark_Angel=-, P.I. | 23-Dec-02/4:59 PM | Reply
your next.f
[3] Bachus @ 24.126.113.154 > Bachus | 23-Dec-02/5:06 PM | Reply
umm i mean YOU'RE next ASL. and don't forget my fucking retarded key board kicks up letters at the end of sentences. also i write nothing like you, and everything i've stolen from you was used creatively and turned into something not 'yours' anymore but 'mine'. shame really and "i come from a long line of poets, so i hope you enjoy my poems". cuz i'm texas..ha ha jerkcity jesus christ, from brilliant theories to compulsive reclarifications 'for' the public..you are really a piece of work. don't slip on a sheet of ice and break your splendid face. merrychristmas.r
[3] Bachus @ 24.126.113.154 > -=Dark_Angel=-, P.I. | 23-Dec-02/5:16 PM | Reply
"unfathomably heavy sarcasm" this is my favorite part, you mean your anal retentive fixation with the human digestive system and hiv (e.g your fucking library) you are in hard core denial bros. just get buggered and shit on already for christ sake and get it over with. what are you afraid of? aids?l
[n/a] poetandknowit @ | 4-Sep-02/12:03 PM | Reply
Wow, where did this come from? I though this discussion was over. We now know the Bacchus scandal. And we know god,alex/ben are one, but you are a mystery. I though beakism was you. He/she logged in last night. And what about the other -=l33k=- character with the same wings, who was that. I cannot keep up with this soap opera.
[7] <~> @ 167.206.181.179 | 4-Sep-02/12:48 PM | Reply
fuck it, h. if you're going to keep revealing our darkest secrets, i'm going to have to go back for some more electroshock. i know how much you liked it last time. you jess kepp yore little self still, and focused, on things that everyone enjoyed...cleaning up those smelly kneepads, for one
[7] horus8 @ 24.126.113.154 | 4-Sep-02/12:39 PM | Reply
i have no problem ripping you off d.a, and i'm sorry people get us confused(lol!) there are absolutely no similarities, other than the fact that i blatently steal some of your more choice expressions and terminologies...out of pure distate and seedy jealousy...besides your way to goth and intelligent(aloof and serious) to ever realy be compared to a drug drenched wannabe like me, or was it drug adeled, or drug altered? any way drugged...so...once and for all...dark angel is not horus8. he's god's wife and zzinia..what talent...what speed..what discipline...and POWER!...WHAT A JOKE! wanna buy some coke? how about a gram of heroin...oh wait i know.....speed!!!!anything for you threep choadk...besides if you go to da's website you'll find it festooned with yards and yards of intelectual tripe, but if you go to horus8's web site you'll see fabricated biographys and high paid models doing back flips and flexing tattooed abs(he was an expensive model from italy, cost me a fortune)(since in real life i'm actually a threehundred pound canadian hockey fan named mildred)on da's web site we have a clear point being demonstrated, "the powerof the shadow is everywhere" were on mine it's just a mockery of how bogus hollywood is and egotisticaly superior to all other places that have existed or will...pray we don't combine our wicked intentions(d.a and mildred) and take over the known universein the name of CTHULU!
[7] horus8 @ 24.126.113.154 | 4-Sep-02/12:40 PM | Reply
i have no problem ripping you off d.a, and i'm sorry people get us confused(lol!) there are absolutely no similarities, other than the fact that i blatently steal some of your more choice expressions and terminologies...out of pure distate and seedy jealousy...besides your way to goth and intelligent(aloof and serious) to ever realy be compared to a drug drenched wannabe like me, or was it drug adeled, or drug altered? any way drugged...so...once and for all...dark angel is not horus8. he's god's wife and zzinia..what talent...what speed..what discipline...and POWER!...WHAT A JOKE! wanna buy some coke? how about a gram of heroin...oh wait i know.....speed!!!!anything for you threep choadk...besides if you go to da's website you'll find it festooned with yards and yards of intelectual tripe, but if you go to horus8's web site you'll see fabricated biographys and high paid models doing back flips and flexing tattooed abs(he was an expensive model from italy, cost me a fortune)(since in real life i'm actually a threehundred pound canadian hockey fan named mildred)on da's web site we have a clear point being demonstrated, "the powerof the shadow is everywhere" were on mine it's just a mockery of how bogus hollywood is and egotisticaly superior to all other places that have existed or will...pray we don't combine our wicked intentions(d.a and mildred) and take over the known universein the name of CTHULU!
[n/a] <{Baba^Yaga}> @ 24.126.113.154 | 4-Sep-02/1:03 PM | Reply
well! goddamnit! he keeps picking on me about the drugs and stuff, and well..it hurts...you know?...deep down inside of me somewhere it realy pains me...and embarasses me too...i don't want the entire world to know that i shoot smack straight into my cock and dry stroke my pets in front of my child not to mention nipple tape my girl prior to a good feces rub down...i mean realy...how wold i even begin to start allowing the therapy to work..with all of this negativity being thrown around...it's just plain uncooth and immature..and i..i..i..forgot what i was saying..what was i talking about?...oh yeah.. driving a tractor can be fun if you wear sun screen..right? exactly..
[n/a] -=Dark_Angel=-, P.I. @ 67.37.12.10 | 4-Sep-02/1:41 PM | Reply
-= li9h+_4nG3L =- is clearly not me either. My feelings about him can be read in 'Five Limericks...'. -=??lilaznjen??=- also has wings, but I don't think you were talking about him. PS. If it wasn't already obvious, I fucking hate goths.
[n/a] poetandknowit @ | 4-Sep-02/2:22 PM | Reply

Either I hang out in the wrong pubs, or quit going to clubs long ago but I guess I don't see all that many goth folks so I am not sure what sort of definition they would have today. When I was a wee lad, they listened to the cure, wore eyeliner, spiky hair (you know, hey my adolescence was in the 80s) and bemoaned the world against them. Still hold true in 2002?
[3] Bachus @ 24.126.113.154 | 17-Dec-02/12:24 AM | Reply
LAMENT

"Cry not, my baby.
Cry.
I know a frog ate a white moth.
The frog did not cry.
That's why he's a frog.
The moth did not cry.
My baby, cry not. Cry.
There is much to do.
I will cry too.
I will cry for you.

Stan Rice, Some Lamb 1975..
[n/a] poetandknowit @ 65.101.213.71 > Bachus | 17-Dec-02/12:28 AM | Reply
Whatever. Shit is shit. Are you just showing how bad Stan Rice is. hahahahahaah Yes, I am well aware that I write better than he does. Is this actually his stuff. Come on fuck head tough guy. Write something worth a shit.
[10] scitz @ 62.105.88.10 | 17-Jun-03/9:36 AM | Reply
Thought this was brilliant, I love line 2 its original. Your an interesting character I either love your stuff or hate it and you've said a couple of negative things about me in the past but fuck it we don't have to like each other.
I feel I am improving as a writer, more experimental and I believe you must selectively read the good and ignore the bad and let it inspire you.

What about you ?
By the way my brother's gone AWOL last I heard he was state side.

Great poem - seriously.

a rare 10
[9] Mr Pig @ 195.92.168.164 | 20-Aug-03/12:05 PM | Reply
Excellent.

Up to we are equal in blackness is a poem in itself. It saddens me that your the one person who would never have one positive thing to say about any of my poems, not one.

I really liked this poem and you can say what you will of mine.

I would however repsectfully ask you to read my poem 'The Blooding' or 'The Grave' and tell me what you liked and what you didn't like.

Thank You

Antony

---------------9
[7] <~> @ 167.206.181.179 > Mr Pig | 20-Aug-03/12:46 PM | Reply
pig--are you cad? or are you just signed in as laurence?
don't fuck with me. i am an advocate.
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