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My girl (Sonnet) by simone_girard Tynesha you are my special girl
Your precious and beautiful like a pearl
I'm your mummy and I love you true
The apple of my eye that is you
To feel you growing inside of me
Was the best feeling that could ever be
You were given my eyes and my nose
But not my ears, thank god not those
You were blessed with the most beautiful smile
And to see it made sleepless nights worthwhile
I was so happy to hear you talk
I almost cried when I saw you walk
Cause your babyhood slips by so fast
And pretty soon it will be past
But you were born to me because of love
And each day I'll thank the lord above.
Up the ladder:
Ted & Santa Go Gay
Down the ladder:
America the Beautiful?
Votes: (green: user, blue: anonymous)
Arithmetic Mean: 4.0277777
Posted: May 19, 2003 11:05 PM PDT; Last modified: May 19, 2003 11:05 PM PDTWeighted score: 4.027898 Overall Rank: 13352 Comments:
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Shardik @ 24.126.113.154
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20-May-03/3:27 PM
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Reply
Cunt, shit I meant count, sorry, the lines, that is. 14 or 16 hmmmm does it matter with a sonnet. Does it matter to Tynesha, Quintiffa, boogliduscha, shinanae, lickueesha? The world may never know, but I will.
[n/a]
simone_girard @ 203.87.54.57
> Shardik
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22-May-03/8:38 PM
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Reply
Your poems and your comments have something in common. Neither of them make any sense.
Is "the lord above" in everything you write? And if that line must be there, can you find nothing else to rhyme it with than love. I'm sorry, I usually try to give the benefit of the doubt but these are too insipid and predictable. They look like something I would have written when I was 10.
If that is the case, then you may want to go back to writing like you did at age ten. This poem has been chosen to be published. Not that I want to sound like a bitch, but it cant be all that bad if other published poets say it is good enough.
It's just NOT GOOD! Your reply to me does not change that. It is no reflection on you as a person. I believe you probably do have deeper feelings, maybe you just haven't developed the skill to get those feelings across through the written word. Look at the votes and comments. ALL of the comments are negative. Your votes include two 0s and a 2.
Oh come on, diamondwife! You know very well that this poeme is completely ace - it's being published for Christ's sake! I think you're just jealous that simone has found a publisher and are lashing out in frustration at everyone else on poemeranker. Grow up, for pity's sake!
Furthermore, "diamondwife", if that is your real pseudonym, I would like to hear your account of what constitutes depth for emotions. If it's anything like your face it will be horribly awry and liable to collapse into a husk of its former self, but I think we should at least air it out before it starts decaying and stinking up the fucking place.
Ahh...the joy of the internet, you have no idea what my face looks like. I could be model material, I could look, well, the way you describe me. But, alas, it matters not, as that is not the issue here. What I really want to know is why you are attacking me when you obviously agree that this poem is awful. Are you threatened that someone else besides you has an opinion? Let's remember that all we really know about each other, or anyone on this site, for that matter, is the words that are written here.
It's typical of you to avoid the issue, diamondwife. You know perfectly well you don't have an adequate theory of depth for emotions, so you try to turn it around and call me a child molester. Well I've had enough. Don't call me anymore. I won't be calling you.
Da, Diamondwife, let's face it: if we had lives, we would be elsewhere. If you were capable of modelling you wuldn't be wasting your time here. I certinly wouldn't. DA, we all know you molest children, join the club.
As I have said before, I never claimed to be the best writer in the world. Also as I have said before, this is not one of the best poems I have written. I think that if you feel so strongly about the way I have written this I would really like to see an example of how you would have written this. I have read some of the poetry you have written on this sight and you are a talented writer, so I would love to see a better version of this poem.
I cannot write this poem "the way I would have written it" because I would not have written it. These are your ideas and your emotions. I too have been published and, honestly, it doesn't mean that much. All it means is that someone who publishes things thought your poem was good. I don't. It is my opinion. What matters most is what you think. If it makes you happy, then keep following the path you are on.
By the way, this poeme is so hideously awful that the only people who could possibly agree to publish it are poetry.com, and the less said about them the better. Actually the more said about them the better.
1. They publish anything you send to them because they want you to buy the book at a ridiculous price. 2. They run poetry competitions to make people think they're good at poetry so they'll buy the poetry books poetry.com constantly secretes. 3. They are gay to the fucking max. Thanks for your time!
This is far from one of what I would consider my best poems. So I all but agree with your comment. But I would like to know who poetry.com is as I have never heard of them. From what you have written I am guessing they are some sort of internet scam company. I did not find a publisher via the internet, I found him by accident to be honest.
Are you some kind of futuristic troll? Why do all your poems rhyme "love" with "above" and use the exact same rhyming and scanning schemes? And who is this mystery publisher? This all sounds like the time I tried to butter myself up and squeeze into the Parson's skirtingboard...
For once i agree with u poetry.com is the biggest scam i ever seen in my life. They will publish any thing im thinkin about sendin them a word and see if they would publish it. And like i said before sonnets are supposed to rhyme every other line
I got poetry.com to publish pictures of my ass.
Yeah, after getting me to take the pictures.
You volunteered
I volunteered, you came.
We both came, baby.
Sorry, but this is just bad. Insipid and cliche. And it should be "you're precious", not "your precious", unless you're Gollum.
Where is it being published? Christian Women's Daily Affirmations Newsletter? Also, if you're talking about God, you should capitalize Lord. (I learned SOMEthing in Sunday school) The Lord above knows that I try not to be mean to the innocent, but this is the wrong "sight" for this kind of simple righteous Christian Inspirational greeting card stuff. Unless you like to throw bloody meat to the wolves.
wow, this sucks
don't let the unhaired heads vex you. keep the words going til they lie right with your heartbeat.
I can't wait to read the published version in the next issue of "Poems Written By and For Retards Monthly". Seriously, this is execrable. It sounds like it was written by a pioneer lady on the Oregon Trail who had her child kidnapped by an Apache war party. You get a four and you're lucky to get that.
Uhhhh Babyhood it sounds like its his weener. On the other hand this is undeserving of its 'worst' poem on p/r so heres a 5 so get the party poppers and cocktail sausages we're having ourselves a PARTY ! ! ! !!
Wow, that had some potential, had some good points, but you tried to hard to rhyme it and so it all fell apart. Good effort though.
yeah, if it was labeled an ode and not a sonnet.
uhm...a sonnet has 14 lines buddy...
I think you could do without the last two lines
TENNNNNNNNNNNNN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! This is incredible beautiful emotional and I hope you all end up sitting on a parsnip. Preferably the same parsnip.
AND before you all forget that this is a poor attempt to imitate maria, blade and all the other truly shite poets on this site I am giving it a magnificent vote in order to make it rise up off the bottom like dark angel's cock.
my anus is bleeding
MY ANUS IS BLEEDING!
Take the fucking nails out then, dumbass.
IN THE NAME OF ALL THAT IS HOLY, MY ANUS IS BLEEDING!
It makes all "the sleepless nights worthwhile" somehow.
I sat on your fucking parsnip and now my fucking anus is fucking bleeding
All that just so I can use 'fucking' 3 times in a sentence
Thank god. DA is willing to staunch the bleeding.
Thank God. DA has a staunch willy.
NOOOO>>>> GET It out of there! {Panting} ARGH! {sounds of bed creaking} No,no ,no! {bed breaks} Oh, yea yea uh....
Hey you bastards i like this. just cos you're all single and don't know what it is to have a kid. shut the fuck up, i like this.
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