poemranker ::Utensils of creation by Damien

DetailsThe poem, its numbers, and the conversation.

Free verse № 123303

Utensils of creation

Member since 2005 · Posted 12 Apr 2005 · 31 comments

My utensils of creation may mean nothing when I mention, Anything is possible if you hold the right intention, What I am meaning to say don’t get carried away, Be a human without a label that cannot and will not decay, And now I will write to you a guide within my self, It may not reach you but to someone else it may be of help, ---- I will absorb this mass creation today I will find peace, So that when I come across something it cannot backtrack me, I will acknowledge what I found today I will not judge, So that my mind can see the truth for everything it could, I will let go of all the meaning today I will be free, So I can find myself alone in my company I will receive, I will accept enlightenment today I feel like god, So I can share my love with all I should especially those lost, Then will come growth like any natural process, But if I see no improvement I will not feel hopeless, At the end of the day there are no words to say to drastically change your life, Politics prove this through words they miss but there actions control our minds.

Rate it

0 is the worst, 10 the best. Pick a number, add a comment if you like, then send it. Keys: 0–9 pick, Enter sends.

mean 4.13 weighted 4.76 rank 11405 views 222 View voting details →

8 votes so far. Yours would make 9.8 votes so far

31 comments

[n/a] Damien 12-Apr-05/2:50 AM Reply
Just say what you fell and understand when you judge you are destroying nothing from me
[10] zodiac › Damien 12-Apr-05/5:47 AM Reply
What are you saying? Are you mad because somebody zeroed your poem? Um, that's called opening your poem to evaluation (on a site called poemRANKER) and that user's prerogative.
[n/a] Damien › zodiac 14-Apr-05/2:45 AM Reply
Are you stupid, I stated this so people would feel MORE open to critisize.
[9] Stephen Robins › Damien 14-Apr-05/5:07 AM Reply
Zodiac is a bit of an idiot - read his work if you want proof - ignore him, he just goes around trying to besmirch everyone's work when actually he is a bit of a dunce himself. I like this poem and certainly feel the last couple of lines are powerful. -9-
[10] zodiac 12-Apr-05/5:45 AM Reply
"there" in the last line should be "their". Don't put commas at the end of every line, but do put it where it belongs. And some of these lines don't make sense or are simply wrong, especially the last two. I think you might have been more interested in the rhyme instead of saying what you meant.
[n/a] Damien › zodiac 13-Apr-05/8:09 AM Reply
Thankyou for your advice but nagging at grammar is petty, I uderstand it is vital in making sense to brainiacs (how about thta for bad grammar)but it has nothing to do with writing what you feel. The subjects interlink they are not one, hope you have a good life putting people down why dont you try constructive critisism without trying to make sense. Well done and good luck
[n/a] Goad › Damien 13-Apr-05/1:46 PM Reply
"why don't you try constructive critisism without trying to make sense"

comedy gold, right there.

I hope you realize you're being a grammar nazi nazi. Or is that meta-grammar-nazi? grammar nazi squared?

Since you've clearly never asked yourself this question, let me ask you: what would you say distinguishes "language" from, for example, some series of grunts and hoots a group of baboons might make when another baboon flashes their bright red ass at them (as they are wont to do)? That's right...rules.

Maybe you would feel more comfortable hanging out on baboonpoetryranker.com. You can express your feelings there, with any old series of grunts and hoots, (or more to the point, any old strung together series of incomplete phrases and disjointed aphorisms) and without putting any effort into making your pomes intelligible.

(I apologize for my rampant primatism)
[n/a] Damien › Goad 14-Apr-05/2:10 AM Reply
Well done my hoot and a hay a hay and a hoot without what did we play does this catch what catch yes cath no cat see c was the letter I used. Oh yeah you cant understand hoots your right, but you would be better as a bamboon you big headed egotistic being enjoy your life and stop trying to offend.
[n/a] richa › Damien 14-Apr-05/2:41 PM Reply
I bet if you could construct a sentence that made sense your insults would be ace?!
[n/a] Damien › richa 15-Apr-05/1:18 AM Reply
Thankyou
[10] zodiac › Damien 14-Apr-05/3:24 AM Reply
Nagging about grammar isn't petty. Well, it's not as petty as writing a mediocre poem because you can't be bothered to do the grammar right, anyway.

Anyway, grammar has everything to do with writing what you feel. For example, by leaving "there" (instead of "their") you make the poem mean something entirely different from what you feel. It's not politician's actions that control our minds, it's just some actions... there.

For another example, you don't even know what you think and communicate like a fucking cerebral-palsied, you fucking moron. You basically prove:
1) Politicians don't use life-changing words;
2) Politicians control our minds; therefore,
3) There are no life-changing words.

- which is fucking idiotic.

For yet another example, you can't even communicate or read well enough to know what someone commenting on your poem is saying, anyway. You think we're having some big argument about whether "the subjects interlink they are not one", whatever that means, and you're probably all pissed about it and punching walls and shit, and no one's said anything of the kind. I've said some of the lines are simply WRONG. If you wanna wrassle, try answering that, buddy.

Why don't you try to make sense and stop spazzing all over the place? Hey, good luck!
[n/a] Damien › zodiac 14-Apr-05/7:31 AM Reply
Ouch obviously touched a nerve there, well why dont you stop hanging around your computer all day and get a life.
1. I dont get stressed I am on the journey into spiritual development and meditation.
2. The last two lines simply mean it is not the words you use but the actions you choose.
3. I am only 17 meaning I have many more years to grow, how long have you.
4. Being offensive over someone elses work just shows how egotistic you really are you fu*king idiot.
5. The reason these poems do not make complete sense is because I freestyle them onto paper hence grammar is but a subject I will master with time and practice.
Swallow that mister.... mister..... mister......
[n/a] -=Dark_Angel=-, P.I. › Damien 14-Apr-05/8:37 AM Reply
If you genuinely wanted to master grammar, you wouldn't be so indignant when people tried to correct you on it. Either you're too thick to master grammar, or you're just too much of a freestyling maverick. Yes, that must be it.
[n/a] Damien › -=Dark_Angel=-, P.I. 14-Apr-05/11:11 AM Reply
Stop making assumptions. I truly do not care of grammar and in actual fact treat all critisism contructivley and positivley.
[10] zodiac › Damien 15-Apr-05/10:26 PM Reply
Don't be a fucking moron.

And stop making assumptions. For one, I spend all day sitting around a desert, not a computer; for another, it's just more fun to say "fucking moron" than other, equivalent things. If people like you touched a nerve, I would have hemorrhaged to death over poemranker months ago.

1. You couldn't spiritually develop your way out of a damp cardboard box.
2. Why didn't you say so? Cause what you've said is ridiculous.
3. I don't understand what this point's saying. Do you mean that you've almost graduated high school? I got a 1580 on the SAT; what did you get?
4. You're wrong there. Maybe it means I've just run out of non-offensive original ways of saying things.
5. Whatever. Like anyone wants to read your freestyle ramblings.
[n/a] Damien › zodiac 18-Apr-05/2:03 AM Reply
Nice try, failed misserably (sorry for spelling mistakes)
[n/a] Damien › zodiac 18-Apr-05/2:14 AM Reply
"I don't understand what this point's saying. Do you mean that you've almost graduated high school? I got a 1580 on the SAT; what did you get?"
Wow you really have got the intention to save the world!!!!!!
[10] zodiac › Damien 18-Apr-05/10:34 PM Reply
Why don't you name something you, Damien, would consider a standard for a successful life? For example,

BIKES: I, Damien, have a 24-speed bike. What've you got?

I'll be waiting.
[n/a] Damien › zodiac 19-Apr-05/1:39 AM Reply
Actually being filthy rich so I could, and believe me or not: share my money with the world
[10] zodiac › Damien 20-Apr-05/1:50 AM Reply
Are you currently filthy rich? I was talking about something you actually have, or have done.
[n/a] Damien › zodiac 20-Apr-05/3:06 AM Reply
OK:
Seeken spiritual development classes
attended Karate classes
Read lots of self help books
Practiced Nunchucks at home
Practised Bokken at home
Read a great book once "understanding the subconcsious"
Pass the same homeless person on the way to work and give him something from the shop every time.
Really this is silly. Who are we proving ourselves to.
[n/a] Hallmark › zodiac 27-May-05/4:40 PM Reply
Anyway, grammar has everything to do with writing what you feel.

For another example, you don't even know what you think and communicate like a fucking cerebral-palsied, you fucking moron

Class!

Of course it was!
[3] James Rykelangeli 12-Apr-05/11:36 PM Reply
lacks any clarity. significant grammar errors. as an exercise, next time write a poem with as much linguistic precision as you can manage. also make sure the architecture and the idea of the poem are clearly envisioned in your mind before you write. (it would therefore behoove you to avoid spontaneous composition at this time and until your technique is better developed.) your current style is terribly muddy and makes communication with the reader impossible. only digress from the above method when you are sure your foundation is sound enough to allow for the exploration of your personal style. good luck.
[9] Stephen Robins › James Rykelangeli 14-Apr-05/5:08 AM Reply
What the fuck do you know?
[n/a] Damien › Stephen Robins 14-Apr-05/7:24 AM Reply
Yeah thats right what the F*ck does he know apart from the way his own thought pattern works (ha ha ha )
[10] zodiac › Stephen Robins 15-Apr-05/10:28 PM Reply
You are a sackfull of various clods.
[6] wFraser Allonby Q.C.w 14-Apr-05/6:45 AM Reply
My utensils of creation comprise:

A laminated guff buttock injected with tramp pellets

A doily-flavoured groin-operated dwarf foetus disguised as a beardtronic ultrabum harvester

An unspeakably disappointing spoon coated in vicar discharge

A pneumatic fatally abnormal hobo sausage injected with vicar concentrate

-10-
[n/a] Damien › wFraser Allonby Q.C.w 14-Apr-05/7:22 AM Reply
Wish I could turn this into something good but with not one comment about the poem you are not needed within this subject.
[0] edpeterson 20-Apr-05/4:36 PM Reply
Laughing, hard.
[n/a] Damien › edpeterson 21-Apr-05/1:20 AM Reply
I'me glad my existence is funny to you.
[4] deleted user 27-May-05/4:55 PM Reply
Yes, this is how a politician would do a poem. With hollow words, but lots of them.