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Lorca: Canción del Jinete (Other) by Sasha In the blackened moon
Of the horseback bandits
Spurs chant out a song:
"Swarthy little pony
Where are you and your dead rider going?"
Sturdy spurs, and strong
Of the stirless bandit
Who let the reins down:
"Chilly little pony
What a dagger-blossom! What aroma!"
In the blackened moon
Dusky Peak was bleeding,
Bleeding from a wound.
"Swarthy little pony
Where are you and your dead rider going?"
Then the night with spurs
Kicked its sable sides and
Pricked itself with stars:
"Chilly little pony
What a dagger-blossom! What aroma!"
In the blackened moon
Shrieks and screams!- Intoning
Of the bonfire's horn!
"Swarthy little pony
Where are you and your dead rider going?"
Up the ladder:
Reckoning
Down the ladder:
Herman
Votes: (green: user, blue: anonymous)
Arithmetic Mean: 9.0
Posted: May 25, 2004 3:47 PM PDT; Last modified: May 25, 2004 7:19 PM PDTWeighted score: 7.0 Overall Rank: 82 Comments:
I see so basically you take your shit poetry, and
mix it with great poetry, and hope for the best? How inventive.
no mixing done here
I'm sorry come again? I thought you said it was both of your work, that's not a mixture?
Why would someone vote on your translation
when they can find one, or buy one done by a translator that knows why the dusky peak is wounded and bleeding.
its a symbol for the rider who's riding upon it. His blood stained the ground.
Must I repeat myself again?
Who is the rider?
the dead rider that this poem's about? Probably a symbol for Lorca's own feelings.
I see, so it was nothing political about the times? Or does that tie into it too?
Perhaps it does have political ties.
There's another poem Lorca wrote under the same title (Canción del Jinete) with the subtitle of "Córdoba" which is more specific, the last stanza of which is: ¡Ay que camino tan lango! ¡Ay mi jaca valerosa! ¡Ay que la muerte me espera! Antes de llegar a Córdoba. (Oh the road so long before me/ Oh my brave and sable pony/ Oh, for death is waiting for me/ Long before I get to Córdoba) Considering that Lorca was an Andalusian poet, it may have had some political significance, though I am unsure of to what extent or of what nature.
I wouldn't have had the idea of its political ties unless you gave it to me. Thanks.
My mother's mother is from Colombia, but of Spanish Decent, and Basque. My father's father is from Greece, Thrace to be exact, and my mother's father is a german hugonaut. he started the first airlines in South America, but he was no astronaut.
Or a symbol of any heterosexual inclinations remaining in his twisted homo soul.
You should see my new cock-ring. It plays three melodies and flashes.
Now that friend is bow'ls... I mean
I've seen some sad shit, but that's the gravy. How's that working for you so far?
So lord! It's even worse, it's your translation of Lorca, making it both of yours? My friend that's just plagiary with a dash of brains and a dollop of cross bred boredom.
Tell it to Zhukovsky, Nabokov, Rilke, Mallarmé and all the rest I have already mentioned above
Why? lol, do you even write poetry? Or do you just throw out the names of your heros and play pop goes the weasel? Please, you're a cad, you can't write, and why you compare yourself to the greats is the root of why you won't be, you can't write, you copy with a poor perspective.
No. Now I must run the risk of arrogance, which I am quite willing to do. I probably know these literatures (with the exception of spanish literature, which I am still working at) much better than you ever will. Don't even think about telling me about my "poor perspective" on literature when I have sampled a far greater variety of poetry from a far greater number of cultures and languages than I'm sure you have.
I can't write? Phew, felt that. At least I can capitalise the first-person pronouns in all of my poems. I don't compare myself to the "greats" as you call them. I am merely stating that what you so blandly and generally lable as plagarism has been done by most of the world's poets. Then again, poemranker is the last place I'd go to for serious opinions on my writing.
I see, so when I gave you my most 'unserious' of opinions you expected it, so what's the problem?
none. who said there was one?
Zodiac's going to have a fieldday with this page I can feel it already
Pshaw.
Dewd
This is a damn good translation. One of the best I've ever seen, and I've seen tons. Now whether or not you should call it "both of ours" is beyond my rights to decide. My guts tell me your trampling on the genius of another, but on the other hand you've done an excellent, and I do mean excellent, job of maintaining the tone of the original, and still you have created verse that stands on it's own "English" merits. So i can see why you feel some sense of ownership. It's a tough call. I give you a ten because it works beautifully as a translation, and you did mark it as "Other" when catagorizing it. Perhaps Mr. Kaolinfire can add it as a catagory.
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Can I ask you a SERIOUS question?
Please forgive me for being caddy,
but did you say, "in the blackened moon
a dusky peak was bleeding from a wound?"
That's pretty funny, and you thought that up
all by yourself? Amazing.
What wounded it pray tell?
En la luna negra
Sangraba el costado
De sierra morena.
It's my translation of Lorca, therfore it's both of ours.
It's simple. Suppose we represent a good poem with 1 and a not-so-good poem with 0. This gives us
Lorca's poem = 1,
Sasha's version = 0
For Sasha's version to still be Lorca's poem and not its own, discrete dribbling, you'd have to except 1 = 0 - which is quite a hefty plum to get your mouth around.
I implied in your mind, you only translate great things, personally, I think 75% of his writing is trash, but so is mine lol. Now once again, so what wounded the Dusky peak?
You shouldn't be translating his poetry.