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Lorca: Canción del Jinete (Other) by Sasha

In the blackened moon Of the horseback bandits Spurs chant out a song: "Swarthy little pony Where are you and your dead rider going?" Sturdy spurs, and strong Of the stirless bandit Who let the reins down: "Chilly little pony What a dagger-blossom! What aroma!" In the blackened moon Dusky Peak was bleeding, Bleeding from a wound. "Swarthy little pony Where are you and your dead rider going?" Then the night with spurs Kicked its sable sides and Pricked itself with stars: "Chilly little pony What a dagger-blossom! What aroma!" In the blackened moon Shrieks and screams!- Intoning Of the bonfire's horn! "Swarthy little pony Where are you and your dead rider going?"

god'swife 26-May-04/9:39 AM
This is a damn good translation. One of the best I've ever seen, and I've seen tons. Now whether or not you should call it "both of ours" is beyond my rights to decide. My guts tell me your trampling on the genius of another, but on the other hand you've done an excellent, and I do mean excellent, job of maintaining the tone of the original, and still you have created verse that stands on it's own "English" merits. So i can see why you feel some sense of ownership. It's a tough call. I give you a ten because it works beautifully as a translation, and you did mark it as "Other" when catagorizing it. Perhaps Mr. Kaolinfire can add it as a catagory.




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