regarding some deleted poem...	29-Jan-04/1:35 PM
Once again there are problems. I'd be happy for suggestions, even the suggestion to toss it.
Re: Spare Change by andrewjthomas	29-Jan-04/2:50 PM
Moron is not the right word. Around here they pronounce it with two syllables - which is astonishing, considering they pronounce everything else with as few as possible. Maybe 'dupe' would work?
Re: Dream Wars by lastobelus	29-Jan-04/3:05 PM
The two unders in the first stanza is daring. I don't know whether to call you on it. (And so far, this is a carbon copy of my planned next post, which will now in the spirit of difference be a jaunty silly ballad of Hero and Glorianne.) Also in st.1 the German motor gets by, but the BMW in the next sentence stops me cold. You can't reintroduce the car like that. In st.2 I feel like 'by the path' is a little weird. I know what you're saying, but 'On the path' sounds better to me. Don't ask why. And 'The black night of the sky' is just wrong. Those things aside, I liked it. Evocations of sleeplessness on really late nights just tickle my spleen.
Re: Ghost by lastobelus	29-Jan-04/3:24 PM
8 for getting better. Also 8 for not being your best.
Re: Ghost by lastobelus	29-Jan-04/4:27 PM
As far as I'm concerned it improves with each repost. I'm sorry I called it a pimple. Much of this really appeals to me - but if I write more, I'm afraid I'll push CLS/Lydia evelyn's darling comments off the page. Mayhap later.
Re: To Avalon by annabellee	29-Jan-04/5:42 PM
Great Tennyson. I'm reading Tennyson right now, and you do him very well. Do you know Ms Parker's great 'Penelope'? Also - I wish you would read my last post, as I was trying to do some Tennyson myself and would like to see what you think.
regarding some deleted poem...	30-Jan-04/6:07 AM
Speaking of Crystal Swift, has anyone seen this? http://www.geocities.com/Area51/Crater/3599/toy_swifty1.html
regarding some deleted poem...	30-Jan-04/8:59 PM
Unsurprisingly, you were ranked low by everyone this poem's about. By which I mean not me, since I'm giving you a 10.
regarding some deleted poem...	30-Jan-04/9:00 PM
Wrong. 4.
regarding some deleted poem...	30-Jan-04/9:10 PM
You're getting it. I like 'the blood never lets.' Way to turn a phrase.
Re: To Avalon by annabellee	30-Jan-04/9:19 PM
"Forever beckoned beyond the mists. But lost, between the worlds adrift." - this is the weakest part. Fix that up. Some of the antiquated diction might stand to be toned down, even for what you're trying to do. 9.
regarding some deleted poem...	31-Jan-04/6:26 AM
Doesn't anyone else think this poem is silly, ironic, and bitingly satirical of practically everyone here?
regarding some deleted poem...	31-Jan-04/2:03 PM
"P.S. I dare you to check my IP" - should we have been surprised?
regarding some deleted poem...	31-Jan-04/2:17 PM
You have good language. For any other advice, you should read all the comments at the bottom of this page: www.poemranker.com/poem-details.jsp?id=79015. It is, as they say, ace.
Re: Your True War Story by zodiac	31-Jan-04/5:35 PM
[NB - coming out of a black doze pockmarked with nightmares of charging cavalry and endless lines of impressed yeomen foot-soldiers, I find myself on the floor of my office in three days’ growth of beard and a sort of contrived samurai armor made of old pizza boxes and damp sweatsocks (not mine – of this I’m sure,) my wife folding laundry nearby and glancing occasionally at me with an amused expression. What has happened? I ask, more than a little angered by what looks like the very real possibility that she’s been humoring me through another of these... spells, steadily gathering ammunition for her endless snipes against my (to say the least) sanity, credibility, and manhood. Oh nothing, she answers, eyebrow cocked – though it may relieve you to know the Huns have been repelled, the Saxon hordes bribed, and Macarthur is returned and reigning victorious over the Pacific front. Oh no – I gasp, my gaze falling on the scattered papers around me, scribbled in a kind of hurried runic shorthand, some big sheets covered with hasty sketches of enormous catapults and besieged port-cullises. Have I, I ask, been... rambling? And without waiting for an answer I lunge for as many papers as I can reach and ram them quickly into the nearby fireplace. Soon, all of them are burned – all except this last bit. BUT THIS IS THE LAST WAR POEM, I SWEAR!!! I am not a veteran; I am not the tallyho sort; and in fact I hate violence in any of its forms. So let me apologize for any... aberrations you may have been required to tolerate over the last few days. Rest assured, I will soon be back to writing poems about first love and thoughts of suicide – the normal subjects, things a guy can feel... well, dignified writing about. Once again, I’m terribly sorry. Thanks for understanding.]
Re: Unhearted by Miggy	1-Feb-04/6:39 AM
The cool thing about selling lyrics to boy-bands would be to make the first letters of each line spell something like "WE ALL WORSHIP SATAN - AND WE'RE GAY". Then when the song was released you could point it out to all your friends.
Re: Unhearted by Miggy	1-Feb-04/6:40 AM
Unhearted isn't a word. I can't tell if you knew that.
Re: Mad by Lenore	1-Feb-04/7:03 AM
Welcome NanceXToo (if that is your real name)! So you take voting pretty seriously, eh? All very commendatory, I'm sure, but really! Giving a three to a haiku?! It's a HAIKU!! How is he ever going to beat forsaken if you keep doing this? We've got to stick together!
regarding some deleted poem...	1-Feb-04/10:16 AM
The only parts of this that aren't great are the title and the singular balloon (instead of balloons.)
regarding some deleted poem...	1-Feb-04/11:18 AM
FUCK YOOOUUUU!! FUUUUUUCK YOUUUUUUU!!!!!11 I'm coming after you!! Do not sleep! Do not go down dark alleys! Do not open strange packages! Do not make large internet purchases with your credit card! You are not safe here! And I'm willing to bet you DO give a shit - but we'll see, won't we?? --- "And take a shit on your brian" - you don't even know my Brian, who, as it happens, was involved in a terrible shit accident as a child and is now terribly frightened of the stuff. He has to be anesthetized to have it removed twice-weekly by surgeons, and he would be horrified, just horrified, at the possibility of someone taking a shit ON him! You're not coming near my Brian - don't even think about it! And you'd probably best watch out, if you know what I mean!