| Re: If We Lived by ZCatcher |
22-Jan-04/5:41 PM |
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Clever...reminds me of Ogden Nash. Delightful!
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| Re: i would have you by silvertongueddevil |
11-Jan-04/8:35 AM |
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This is beautiful...intimate and subtly sexy.
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| Re: Another Window by nightii |
7-Jan-04/3:41 PM |
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Strikes an all-too-familiar chord in me.
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| Re: Equinox by timfowler |
7-Jan-04/3:02 PM |
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I've read this poem over and over, and every time I get something different out of it. This is one of those instances where I may not fully grasp or clearly understand the full import what is being said â indeed, I may not have the capacity â but the poem is so beautifully crafted that I donât care. Gorgeous.
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| Re: Father O Father O Father of Fools by dougsoderstrom |
7-Jan-04/12:24 PM |
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Yes, some nice imagery. I do agree with Frass' comments, however. I personally have trouble when a metre is established or implied in a rhyming poem like this and then the poet strays from it so radically. It ends up feeling imbalanced and amateurish. It's best either to free it up completely, or choose your words very carefully and stick to the metre.
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| Re: Love by Pervy Elf |
4-Jan-04/10:31 PM |
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My sentiments exactly...and I do mean exactly. Witness, and live to love again!
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| Re: Petrarchan Sonnet about Love by emilyowey |
2-Jan-04/2:57 PM |
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Sometimes there is peace in giving up on love, and though rare, even happiness. Small technical quibble about the shortage of syllables in the 5th line, but a very beautiful poem making very good contemporary use of a venerable form. Incidentally, I cannot imagine who could in good conscience give this effort a "0".
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| Re: metaphorically speaking by somemorepoetry |
2-Jan-04/12:00 PM |
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I get the feeling the message is opaque and personal (or maybe I'm just dense), but I like the imagery.
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| Re: New Leaf by dragonfly |
2-Jan-04/10:15 AM |
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Interesting syntax in the first couple of lines...I found myself wanting more of it. Still, very nice...I haven't heard such a pleasant, concise description of the willing vulnerability of love in some time.
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| Re: Let's Play by jasondingus |
2-Jan-04/10:09 AM |
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I like erotic and/or romantic poetry like this, but it seems to me it would flow better if you wouldn't punctuate so often in the middle of a line where there is no grammatical need. Example: "What your love does to me" instead of "What your love, does to me." It certainly is hot and sweaty and breathes heavily, though, and I like that.
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