| Re: Memoirs IV by http://mulberryfairy |
9-Nov-03/3:31 PM |
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Very nice. Try an allusion to the giant line early in the piece. Also, check tenses--I think they're okay, but I still found myself going hmmm.
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| Re: I, Ann Boleyn by http://mulberryfairy |
31-Jul-03/3:14 PM |
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| Re: Ode to a Fox Cub by http://mulberryfairy |
25-Jul-03/7:27 PM |
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I like the dream segue. I wish that I could bring the little guy back. Why didn't you get money for the skins? Spell 'break' brake. A touching piece that gets a niner.
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| Re: Can you believe this piece of shit was #1? by horus8 |
23-Jul-03/3:24 PM |
This piece is very cool. I love it when poets stick it to each other! The weak hand masturbation makes the poem, but it's the chewbacca ending that gets me ... maybe your next piece should be about chewy masturbating with his furry weak and/or strong hand while solo translates his pleasure moans.
Oh, good luck with the Avon.
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| Re: I Am a Snob, or, 'A Definition' by JakeBike |
22-Jul-03/5:23 PM |
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Harsh, but delicious ... sorry, I'm actually just hungry.
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| Re: One Moment to the Other (v2) by nentwined |
22-Jul-03/5:20 PM |
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You almost had me until temp'ry ... nice try, doesn't work. At first I thought you were going for a sonnet and I think you should try to take it there.
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| Re: Anouk by daniella |
22-Jul-03/5:18 PM |
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