on some deleted poem
1 Sep 2002, 8:13 PM
I took >I dreamt I could tell> as tell/blowing the whistle/ratting the prick out etc. I wouldn't change that line at all. To me that was an important part of the pain. She dreamt she could tell like a little girl dreams of becoming a princess. It could never REALLY happen. Why they think they can't tell makes it all the more tragic.
on some deleted poem
1 Sep 2002, 7:27 PM
You let us peer well into the depths of a raped Woman's hell. 10/10
on some deleted poem
6 Sep 2002, 11:23 AM
Poo.
on some deleted poem
6 Sep 2002, 11:22 AM
This is crap. blood curling anial crap. If there is such a thing, which there isn't but its still crrrrap!
on A Musical Dream by vulcan
6 Sep 2002, 11:25 AM
It's no Rocky Horror Picture Show but it will do....... I suppose. ;)
on the mattress is a magnet by silvertongueddevil
3 Sep 2002, 8:37 PM
change the last line to >to the warm flesh lonely people.< and keep going! I was really into this and then it just stops. Where's the big finish?
on some deleted poem
3 Sep 2002, 9:05 PM
horus-put his pottie in the closet and be done with it.
on d e e p e r by daniella
3 Sep 2002, 9:20 PM
This reminds me of a Beatles tune, the name of which escapes me at the moment. The format made it a bit hard to read but It does evoke the feeling of drifting softly down beneath the sea. nice! 7/10
on some deleted poem
3 Sep 2002, 9:45 PM
*vegas-strangeness-pernacious-wageless-t
on some deleted poem
1 Sep 2002, 8:40 PM
I sincerely hope my man loves me more than his Black and Tans. Let me tell you, I could write an epic about his frosty mug love affair with those beers. Men!
on some deleted poem
1 Sep 2002, 9:05 PM
mute hold the 's' definetly. cupped doesn't feel soft or sexy enough for me, other than that I love it. 8/10
on some deleted poem
1 Sep 2002, 8:02 PM
I get the impression you don't think too highly of Women. I'm also fairly sure you weren't trying to send that message. even so, that is what comes through, for me at least. (not that it matters I suppose) Anyhow.. I Love your work but this one seems to be lacking in something... substance perhaps?? 7/10
on One Size Fits Most by Lenore
1 Sep 2002, 7:35 PM
Thank you, glad you like it. Big Matriarchy? Where?
on The Crutchling by -=Dark_Angel=-, P.I.
30 Aug 2002, 8:25 PM
I hear the scratching at night. I know there's a Crutchling in my closet. Go check! Fuck you! I'm not looking!
on S by -=Dark_Angel=-, P.I.
30 Aug 2002, 8:35 PM
I noticed you were Short on S. Not one JeSu could hold it on itS end.
Now you go and do thiS? What would happen if you put it where it belongS? Is it Sin?
Now you go and do thiS? What would happen if you put it where it belongS? Is it Sin?
on The boy who shot birds by Bachus
30 Aug 2002, 8:00 PM
>Deep within this madness my brain is hitching unhealthy rides< This is it. Fucking Spot On! 10 for that sentence alone.
on An Introduction by 1Sapphire1
30 Aug 2002, 8:41 AM
female descendants in our Family get guns. Not quite as cuddly, but tis better to shed bullets than tears, my dear.
on Thousand Tears by kristenk69lover
29 Aug 2002, 7:32 PM
Advice to a Girl
No one worth possessing
Can be quite possessed;
Lay that on your heart,
My young angry dear;
This truth, this hard and precious stone,
Lay it on your hot cheek,
Let it hide your tear.
Hold it like a crystal
When you are alone
And gaze in the depths of the icy stone.
Long, look long and you will be blessed:
No one worth possessing
Can be quite possessed.
-Sara Teasdale
No one worth possessing
Can be quite possessed;
Lay that on your heart,
My young angry dear;
This truth, this hard and precious stone,
Lay it on your hot cheek,
Let it hide your tear.
Hold it like a crystal
When you are alone
And gaze in the depths of the icy stone.
Long, look long and you will be blessed:
No one worth possessing
Can be quite possessed.
-Sara Teasdale
on some deleted poem
29 Aug 2002, 7:06 PM
Is this format intentional?
on Hypocrites by PawnedTidal
1 Sep 2002, 8:28 PM
This could be a truly, nasty, bitter poem if polished up some. 5/10