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Hypocrites (Free verse) by PawnedTidal
The savages have entered, And conjured this temperamental strain. Here in the depths of darkness Is where I shall remain. They preach a pretty sermon, But really don't give a shit. And if there's one thing I've no use for-- It's a hypocrite. I don't need you or anyone else To try to enlighten me. I'm hip to your scheme, And soon, others will see. Your actions have betrayed your words-- You mouth has overloaded your ass. And, before long, your acts of hypocrisy Will be a thing of the past.

Up the ladder: Who am I ?
Down the ladder: Whisper Of Truth

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Votes: (green: user, blue: anonymous)
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Arithmetic Mean: 4.6666665
Weighted score: 4.8333335
Overall Rank: 10779
Posted: September 1, 2002 5:46 PM PDT; Last modified: September 1, 2002 5:46 PM PDT
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Comments:
[5] Lenore @ 64.252.99.204 | 1-Sep-02/8:28 PM | Reply
This could be a truly, nasty, bitter poem if polished up some. 5/10
[5] Frass @ 138.88.39.180 | 1-Sep-02/8:31 PM | Reply
Who are these savage, hypocrital betrayers? My interest is peaked; tell me.
[n/a] PawnedTidal @ | 5-Sep-02/2:53 PM | Reply
As with most of my not-so-happy writing, the motivation is my relationship with my parents.
[4] beakism @ 213.122.86.110 | 5-Sep-02/3:06 PM | Reply
Indeed. If the poem flowed better, and if it wasn't a rant against parents, I'd enjoy it.
[n/a] PawnedTidal @ | 5-Sep-02/3:43 PM | Reply
It isn't a rant against parents. It's a rant (if you insist calling it that) against anyone who tries to change who you are for the sake of what is religiously or socially acceptable. :)
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