Re: a comment on An Afternoon Walk by Dovina	12-Nov-04/8:44 AM
that is my first ever poemranker swear word.
Re: a comment on An Afternoon Walk by Dovina	12-Nov-04/8:43 AM
As for we can both learn from him. Fuck off.
Re: a comment on An Afternoon Walk by Dovina	12-Nov-04/8:36 AM
As for jroday leans toward emotion. Bow'ls. A poet does not portray emotion by the frequency of times he mentions hate in a poem.
Re: a comment on An Afternoon Walk by Dovina	12-Nov-04/8:34 AM
As for how a poem can be anything but surface if it uses only logic. What are you talking about. You use logic so that your images make sense. You do not write a verse of logic and then write a verse of emotion. If you write a verse without the requisite logic you look an idiot.
Re: a comment on An Afternoon Walk by Dovina	12-Nov-04/8:28 AM
Let me give you an example of incorrect logic. P: Snow is cold P:(the sun is a generator of all it reflects all frequencies of light) C: The snow makes me warm.
Re: a comment on An Afternoon Walk by Dovina	10-Nov-04/7:59 AM
but the use of aphorisms is the very antithesis of the personal and the specific.
Re: A Child Learns (haiku) by poetryman	10-Nov-04/7:43 AM
By posting your poem you are asking for it to be judged. 'Children are conceived with no hatred or racism' is saying that children are conceived by an act of love not hate. But what about children conceived through rape. Bachus has proved your statement to be false. No problem with that criticism. Haikus are traditionally 5-7-5 therefore the comment 'the second line has 8 syllables' is fair criticism. That you claim to be well read in haiku yet you write something which resembles a haiku in no way (except children can be in haikus) leaves you open to criticism on that score too. How can you turn on the critics for doing what is asked of them. Did someone tell you that everyone must like you and everyone must say nice things about you. Believe me there is nothing here that would not be said to your face. Poemranker however is not face to face, therefore it is kind of difficult to criticise face to face. If we could I am sure many would like to give you a slap for your apalling petulance.
Re: a comment on A Child Learns (haiku) by poetryman	10-Nov-04/4:37 AM
and saying something in 17 syllables doesn't exactly constitute a poem.
Re: a comment on An Afternoon Walk by Dovina	10-Nov-04/2:17 AM
The excessive use of unsubstantiated aphorisms is a bad thing. This is a valuable lesson and hardly deserves such a mock offended reply (and more aphorisms). When I read aphorisms in poems it reminds me of political language. I can never be sure whether the writer understands what he is saying let alone whether he has any depth of understanding of what he is saying.
Re: a comment on An Afternoon Walk by Dovina	10-Nov-04/2:10 AM
The correct use of logic is what gives a poem depth. How can a poem be anything but surface if the surface only applies to itself. For instance 'the snow makes me warm' this can only mean you like snow (warm feeling) the reader can infer nothing from the properties of snow that could make you warm. With respect to your constant demeaning of 'smart' people. It reminds me of the time my negro maid fired this gem at me when I read her my masterpiece: "I have no time for false intellectualism". I was so humbled I modified my masterpiece. I ask her every day what she thinks. It garners the same reply. Every day I modify my masterpiece. Will I ever achieve true intellectualism.
Re: a comment on The Roses by poetryman	9-Nov-04/2:55 PM
half the women bachus is related to are 'chaps'.
Re: A Child Learns (haiku) by poetryman	9-Nov-04/2:43 PM
This is not a haiku it is a discredited view.
Re: keep on digging by nentwined	9-Nov-04/2:35 PM
I would replace the first two lines. A level knocks on a door?!. The second line is plain inelegant. And I would write more.
Re: Silly sickness by fevriere	9-Nov-04/2:31 PM
Not sure about this one. 'You're something witty' where it is sounds bizarre. Short sentences are fine in building up tempo but the linebreaks impede this and I spent too much time figuring out how each line followed on from the other. Most of your recent poems; soul fruit, a wanderlust to the new, zipmark'd etc have been pretty good (the use of composite words in wanderlust I enjoyed) and have sounded wonderful. I think part of the reason for this is the longer verses bring out your lyricality in a way this poem does not.
Re: a comment on Grandma by Dovina	5-Nov-04/8:50 AM
a person is old when they put their hand in a fire and god does not care enough to make them pull it away :(
Re: Grandma by Dovina	4-Nov-04/1:29 AM
Not sure senses sharpen with age. Need to know more about 'common things' and 'good works'.
Re: Perfect Time of Year by wilco	4-Nov-04/1:22 AM
Sounds nice. 'Different, if not for a lack of change' is a decent idea but wrong poem I think (there is change if dead leaves are falling).
Re: a comment on Poems for devolution by richa	3-Nov-04/8:44 AM
It could be that the author is mocking the narrator or that the author is observing the narrator mocking another potential narrator. Either way there is someone who can not be taken at face value. Probably richa.
Re: a comment on Poems for devolution by richa	3-Nov-04/7:02 AM
The poem is meant to be a portrait of a devolutionist rather than 'I' with my pet theory on why we should get rid of scotland. As for the haggis bit. I don't really want to get rid of it (the poem is meant to descend into farce) but I may have to. I want there to be an underlying sense of petty hostility from the narrator.
Re: a comment on Ending by Dovina	2-Nov-04/9:54 AM
The comment was a general one on why insipid criticism between parties complimenting themselves is an anathema to many. It is a subtle distinction but I said Dan knows little therefore can write loads of poems. I did not say those who write loads of poems know little. A pinon planter was a good poem. Since then you have had a few sketchy ones which you have been reinforced for by Dan. Dan is a guy who believes those seen as good poets are the same as him but with a thesaurus. Dan is not your friend. We are. As for misinterpreting Hollywood shoe-shiner. His poem was written in about two minutes and the reason it could be is because the only criteria it sought to satisfy was to make the message 'earnest poets use thesauri and it don't matter I'm uneducated' rhyme.