regarding some deleted poem...	21-Sep-03/2:22 PM
Lets just say I am a really mean reviewer. Read your poem over and think what things I could pick at. Do you see?
Re: Madam Z - [<~>] - Snake Pen & Holy Grail by SupremeDreamer	22-Sep-03/11:48 AM
Madame Z which is zzinnia not to be confused with Madame zinzania the circus act I guess. baez for now
Re: Wasted Words by ho_hum	26-Sep-03/2:25 PM
the last line I think is wasted, as it has been explained in the rest of the poem. the breasts into an undersized bra, unwilling? anthropomorphism?
Re: Love doggerel by thavimatola	29-Sep-03/1:34 PM
Like it, especially the refreshing rhymes in the first verse
regarding some deleted poem...	29-Sep-03/1:36 PM
the line pattern would probably make more sense if this poem was about diziness.
regarding some deleted poem...	30-Sep-03/7:17 AM
you are asking the reader to believe you have no idea 'lightbulb in my head, it seems to be dead' and then expecting someone to value your poem. A small point of logic I like the rhyme gnome and poem, if you really are short as a gnome it is even better.
regarding some deleted poem...	30-Sep-03/7:21 AM
good, like the sinister turn at the end. Is the second line not 6 syllables though?
regarding some deleted poem...	30-Sep-03/7:24 AM
A bit like a pimple poem, schoolboy insecurities. I gather it is about being in the army, makes you sound a little wimpy. The verses are redundant as this is a piece of prose. I could identify with certain of your points though -7-
Re: Perversions 8: The Reckoning by razorgrin	30-Sep-03/7:27 AM
the last one, I seem to forget what you were supposed to rhyme the last line with. Other than that good rhythm, and in the spirit of a limerick
Re: EGG by ?-Dave_Mysterious-?	30-Sep-03/7:28 AM
great clarity, you are obviously a man who has no trouble grappling with your immense intellect.
Re: The Love of -=Dark_Angel=- and J.B.Manning by ho_hum	1-Oct-03/11:26 AM
Stop writing about dark angels trite love life noeone gives a shit
regarding some deleted poem...	3-Oct-03/8:36 AM
a bit of an 'it' poem describing something as it but alluding to rather than building up an image. The poem would be better with a few images to guide the reader. Like 'it is stealth and you are dull'
Re: Tailor Made by OnTheOtherHand	3-Oct-03/8:40 AM
the moral of the story? I guess that you should not have given away the suit. If you have no use for a suit ther is precious little point in keeping it even if it does fit well. That electric chair is damn comfy. The poem I found flowed well but seemed a little odd.
Re: On the Occasion by tadpole	3-Oct-03/8:51 AM
not sure about the rhyme at the end of each verse, too many words seem to interfere in between, such as whom and you. overall pleasant,
regarding some deleted poem...	3-Oct-03/12:35 PM
difficult to read, I think limericks usually have lines 1,2,5, roughly the same beat and long, and lines 2,4 the same beat and short. It could be inversed but this is neither. As for the story being stupid, limericks kind of are, I have not read many limericks that are on serious issues, I think it is the zip and loudness that lends itself to silliness.
regarding some deleted poem...	3-Oct-03/1:00 PM
I've got five GREEN zeros this week, and let me tell you it feels so much better
regarding some deleted poem...	5-Oct-03/12:39 PM
1 is not a haiku, I think it goes 5,6,4 rather than 5-7-5, nevertheless it is snappy and kind of within the spirit of the haiku. This like most attacks on religion though lacks the detailed analysis required for insight. To me religion is like Dark Angel: the non-believers know it to be bullshit, but it seems protected by its web of paradoxes and contradictions.
Re: Bar Tale 2.0 by jessicazee	5-Oct-03/12:45 PM
white and irish - cant be a gangster then. It isn't really much of a poem, but it is a well structured story (providing it is going anywhere)
Re: Painted Air by New Life Drug	5-Oct-03/12:53 PM
well carried, nice rhythm, a little prosaic. And crickets never sing through all four seasons was my favourite phrase
regarding some deleted poem...	5-Oct-03/12:59 PM
'you fingered out the route'? a bit graphic perhaps yes I get this, you are boring your kid with details you think important, and he trying to emulate you replies with details you find irrelevant, therefore reflecting on yourself. could do with a little more lively poetic original language though oh yeh and the relevance of perception is it stops you walking into walls