Almost there Joe. Consider losing some of the modifiers (neatly, old abandoned--why not just abandoned?--restful (not that restful if you're up listening to the trains), etc.. Why "inexplicably" makes its (no apos. for the possessive "its"). "feel life in the ground beneath you" is nice. Needs more buildup/connection to the nursery rhyme aspects--they seem to come out of nowhere.

Starts off really clever and cute, with some nice alliteration and end-rhymes (garner, favor, harder), but those elements seem to get lost in the rest of it. The last six stanzas don't meet the promise of the first two (although the last stanza picks up the similar sounds again, in peace, sheep, please and I do note the fleas/bees/please rhyme, but they're too far apart; not saying you need to endstop the rhymes, but maybe work them a little closer somehow). I do like how you looked to other critters for comparison.

Yep, you've been reading Blake. ;-) You lose your meter here and there, and since you mostly stick to it, it's jarring when you go astray.

Put a comma after your invocation (good children)--makes it immediately clear that you're speaking to them (it threw me off the first time). A nit.

"Inherit the earth" IS a great biblical line, which is why it's so overused.

As Dovina notes, it's deliberate preaching, which doesn't bother me, but I do wish the language was a little more fresh and compelling. Or that he ate the children in the end (sorry, it got me thinking of The Walrus and the Carpenter):

"O Oysters," said the Carpenter,
"You've had a pleasant run!
Shall we be trotting home again?'
But answer came there none--
And this was scarcely odd, because
They'd eaten every one.

I bet it was cathartic to write this, but it's more diary entry than poem, really. I don't mean that in a mean way. The cutting is a good place to start and a great, strong image--play around with that, maybe; try to make it a little more symbolic or indirect, instead of telling us everything straight out the way you do. You don't have to get fancy, but make it strong by centering it on something:

I have this knife--
a way to live my life
high from letting my blood pour out

see? Your words, but it starts in the midst of it, and it'll take you further than just pouring your heart out as you would to a friend, you know?

Of course, you may have just written it to feel better. :) But if you really want to learn to write poetry, Zodiac is right--read good poetry.

Good luck.

Ummm--huh. I don't know--it reads to me like a series of punchlines unanchored by a joke. Interesting because it's so fucking weird, but I don't get a sense of the sense.

Gah! Line breaks. Fucking line breaks.

nada y pues nada . . . but deliver us from nada . . .

IMPROVED--WITH AIDS (of course)!!!

I bearded that Jesus with meat,
Thinking later to have such a treat,
but I left him untended
and alas! He ascended!
Now I’ve only got meat fit to beat.

Next, I bearded his Christ with fried chicken,
but some ‘ranker had soon thrust his dick in.
After eating that stew
of Godhead and spew
With AIDs I was suddenly stricken!

Then I tried bearding Jesus with fish—
was God ever a tastier dish?
Topped with some tartar,
a succulent martyr!
(Smelled like foul hell, but delish!)

Disagree that this is overwrought (well, some lines are, but for the most part I don't think it is)--the words are simple and the emotion strongly conveyed. Some problems with the ending--it starts to fall apart with all the fathersistermotherlovers and the repetition of "listen to me now," but the bulk of it is pretty well done. The Cain and Abel ref is a little too obvious (for my taste)--think it'd be better implied. The concrete homey details--sharing baths, etc., give the larger themes a face, which works nicely. Some editing would make it even better.

Sweet bearded Jesus! I've shat myself laughing. The finest of that fine AIDs tradition.