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All I Want (Free verse) by AngelicVampiress It seems like all I do is cry inside
The tears just wont come out
They stay inside and drown my soul
I keep it all inside waiting to blow
I replace my sadness with rage
I cuss and scream at the people I love
Never really meaning to hurt them
But my pain inside is killing me
All I want to do is tell somebody
But no one will listen to my pleas
I am lost and alone in this world
I feel as though all I have is a knife
I feel like this is the way to live my life
To get a high from letting my blood pour out
To get a smile upon my face watching the pain pour out
I want to cry but the tears stay inside
And all I can do is put on a fake smile and hide
Like a coward, I will hide in the dark.
Pretending to be happy
When truthfully I will never feel happiness.
And all I want is for someone to listen.
But everyone is to busy to notice me.
So I stay quiet and smile.
While the pain lurks around inside my soul.
As I let the pain and sorrow pour out.
Till there is nothing left of me and its to late.
And all I ever wanted was for somebody to help me!
Up the ladder:
The Pen
Down the ladder:
Dark's Nest
Votes: (green: user, blue: anonymous)
Arithmetic Mean: 4.6666665
Posted: January 21, 2006 1:24 PM PST; Last modified: January 21, 2006 1:24 PM PSTWeighted score: 4.9602656 Overall Rank: 8677 Comments:
[7]
pollywolly @ 62.30.170.78
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22-Jan-06/9:07 AM
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Reply
reading this as a loner i can understand the words very well but i also believe those not faced with these feeling could also understand what is being said. great movement in parts " fake smile and hide like a coward ". good piece!
Help for life: Go out some, get a bagel, talk to strangers.
Help for poetry: Read a lot. It's not like this.
I bet it was cathartic to write this, but it's more diary entry than poem, really. I don't mean that in a mean way. The cutting is a good place to start and a great, strong image--play around with that, maybe; try to make it a little more symbolic or indirect, instead of telling us everything straight out the way you do. You don't have to get fancy, but make it strong by centering it on something:
I have this knife-- a way to live my life high from letting my blood pour out see? Your words, but it starts in the midst of it, and it'll take you further than just pouring your heart out as you would to a friend, you know? Of course, you may have just written it to feel better. :) But if you really want to learn to write poetry, Zodiac is right--read good poetry. Good luck. 155 view(s)
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