Re: Respect on a Quiet Hillside by Dovina	24-Jul-04/7:22 PM
Love it. How does "They paid their respects" instead of "did it" sound to you? Grandpaw was such a 'perv' (in a good way).
regarding some deleted poem...	24-Jul-04/7:36 PM
I'm not fond of "forms" but it hangs -7- well enough.
Re: Bad animal limericks by INTRANSIT	24-Jul-04/7:48 PM
The turtle wins!-9-
Re: Fear by Mona Lisa	24-Jul-04/7:50 PM
Don't jump! Here's a -7-. Write on, right on.
regarding some deleted poem...	25-Jul-04/9:50 AM
Two poems for the price of one. Broken drum special (can't be beat).
regarding some deleted poem...	25-Jul-04/9:59 AM
Is it a poem about what is vague or what's in vogue?
Re: Cranberry shoes by INTRANSIT	27-Jul-04/9:42 AM
Bitter-sweet Laotian candy. Good prose.
regarding some deleted poem...	27-Jul-04/10:06 AM
I was there last night. A bit confusing at the end of stanza one and through stanza two but I think that's the point. Isn't it? The rest is straight forward (in a good way).
Re: Gap-Fold vs. Sour Milk by Venus	27-Jul-04/10:29 AM
I think it needs a refrain. Maybe just a shorter refrain. "Once... there was freshly laundered attire" "Now... there are tank tops, etc." Let us figure out what happened. Good poem. Great ending.
regarding some deleted poem...	27-Jul-04/10:47 AM
"All of my rhymes seem to either express or cover what I really feel." A perfectly telling line. We think that we can hide behind the words but in the end we continue to express things we think we are covering up anyway. And in spite of all that "god stuff," a good poem. Thought provoking.
regarding some deleted poem...	27-Jul-04/10:58 AM
Let's make it unanimous. -10- I hope the Melot was from one of the great California vineyards.
Re: The Annual January Thaw by Dovina	27-Jul-04/7:10 PM
Great last two lines! The reversal of whom is against what took me a re-read to get. Well worth it to someone who thinks a hike is walking to the corner 7-11 instead of taking the car.
regarding some deleted poem...	27-Jul-04/7:16 PM
Reality can sure screw up both daydreams and wet dreams. Write on (but not while you drive)! -10-
Re: The Serpent People by horus8	27-Jul-04/7:19 PM
Yeah! Yea! Yes!
regarding some deleted poem...	27-Jul-04/7:28 PM
Is she wearing a "white, string-theory thong bikini," S? Good tenuous thread of logic. I like it.
Re: Wake Up by unouluvme	27-Jul-04/7:34 PM
It seems to mean something to me, if I read it thusly, Wake up Sprint to burial grounds Pool around you let it be water Cards have spoken Don’t wait walls will advance Worlds will shrink ears will give way Cling to a cliché Kiss the poison as the antidote Speak expectations to listen Let fragrance engulf you Did you sleep? A poem of contradictions. Why not?
Re: Brats by D. $ Fontera	27-Jul-04/7:42 PM
I know it would be a major grammar gaff but I hear it as "He brat, She brat, You brat, Me brat." Even so, it's endearing.
Re: Gap-Fold vs. Sour Milk by Venus	28-Jul-04/8:25 AM
The indentation differentiating between Then and Now works very well.
regarding some deleted poem...	30-Jul-04/8:00 AM
Birches? I thought it was a typo- moist air stroking bitch's white lace on porcelain skin
regarding some deleted poem...	30-Jul-04/8:15 AM
Choices. You want fries with chilicheese or or chilicheese with fries? Where are those choices I remember Lincoln/Bryant or JFK/Nixon or God/Apple? How did you stay awake? Well written. Well, there's always 2008- Arnold/Denzel.