on Kelly Clarkson's Lament by bondjedi
27 Sep 2002, 4:41 AM
I read your dossier, and looked at your previous work. You have an uncanny knack for this. You've done better. I think.
on RunOnSentence by harrytuttle
27 Sep 2002, 5:24 AM
Damn, forgot the "other" box. Sorry dude.
on The Good Old Days in New Orleans by cobalt
27 Sep 2002, 5:14 PM
I was thinking more a long the lines of living people. Refrencing spirits or mood. Either way it works.9
on some deleted poem
27 Sep 2002, 5:55 PM
This ones too deep for me. Maybe it's a girl thing, this one.Good though8
on Colony by <{Baba^Yaga}>
27 Sep 2002, 5:57 PM
OUCH! But you are right.9
on Never get it right by Mutant_X
27 Sep 2002, 6:20 PM
Both pieces need less telling and more showing. Recommendation: Find poetry that you like and read as much as you can. You'll develop a better feel for the written word.7
on Unpleasant Morning by liljsmith87
27 Sep 2002, 6:25 PM
Check this out!!! Find "Mother goose" at the library. You're looking for "a crooked sixpence"
It was my favorite when I was little.I'm 35 and still can repeat it from memory. That was fun.7
It was my favorite when I was little.I'm 35 and still can repeat it from memory. That was fun.7
on some deleted poem
27 Sep 2002, 6:31 PM
patience grasshopper. must walk before run. too much sugar make for muscle spasm and bad headache.good that you try. try again.6
on I Wish by liljsmith87
27 Sep 2002, 6:34 PM
Not unheard of. Takes effort on both parts. Work on your descriptiveness. Good though.
on some deleted poem
27 Sep 2002, 6:38 PM
S-4 Is strongest I think. Your dossier tells me you can do better.
on Witch to Wicca by Lenore
27 Sep 2002, 6:47 PM
I'm sorry I can't comment. Your level is above mine. Ienjoy reading your work though.
on storm by unknown
27 Sep 2002, 6:49 PM
Simple. Powerful. Haiku.9
on Hunter's Moon by Rex Karrs
27 Sep 2002, 6:54 PM
Can't touch this...too good for my feeble mind.9
on Hunter's Moon by Rex Karrs
28 Sep 2002, 10:16 AM
FRASS, Thanks for the vote of confidence.My inferiority complex got the better of me last night.Can't wait for sun6p! I'm trying to (hang). Maybe trying too hard. Another glitch. Time, time is on my side.......
on some deleted poem
28 Sep 2002, 10:25 AM
"and feeling stronger" sets a speed bump for me. Otherwise Its been a long time since I've looked at a mannequin that way . Loved "upskirting" the stiff broads.8
on some deleted poem
28 Sep 2002, 3:24 PM
Are you really writing a story? These are great charachter names if you are. This is relaxed. Nice.8
on Suburban Horror by phbiscuit
28 Sep 2002, 3:29 PM
Where can I get some of that new dismal you've patented. This goes many different ways.Sickly truthful.
8
8
on some deleted poem
28 Sep 2002, 3:32 PM
I'm feeling war-ish.Good piece.
Jagged, in a good way.8
Jagged, in a good way.8