| Re: Cold Afternoon. by Sasha |
1-Oct-04/6:21 AM |
appeared? Excellent. like I need to tell you that.
I heard he's coming. maybe in 2011.
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| Re: Eagledale Drive by klosterfobik |
1-Oct-04/6:26 AM |
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And someone has the gall to slap you with a one? Ha on them.
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| Re: Coldfront by klosterfobik |
1-Oct-04/6:33 AM |
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| regarding some deleted poem... |
6-Oct-04/7:26 PM |
I'm not gonna smart ass this time. Here's a tool for you, no charge.
the book is called: poemcrazy;freeing your life with words by Susan Goldsmith Woolridge 13.00 US
share it with CLS.
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| regarding some deleted poem... |
6-Oct-04/7:34 PM |
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I've never been to Venice but that's what I saw this time. Based on pictures in books etc. Liked the first better for some reason.
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| Re: One True Instant by Dovina |
6-Oct-04/7:36 PM |
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This hit me, like a Saxophone being put away.
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| Re: Beer Commercials by Jeremi B. Handrinos |
6-Oct-04/7:39 PM |
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I got yanked into one of those mall survey things for beer once. I was sampling what came to be Black and Tan, I think. I think the sample tasted better than the final product.
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| regarding some deleted poem... |
6-Oct-04/7:49 PM |
I went to blog, or was blogged, and now I know I should stay away from beat poems before I hurt myself.
Moses rocks.
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| regarding some deleted poem... |
6-Oct-04/7:57 PM |
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I gotta try one of these some day. lol.
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| Re: As I wait to shoot a mallard, I consider life by somemorepoetry |
6-Oct-04/8:09 PM |
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Another poem that deserves at least some light but will get none. damnit.
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| regarding some deleted poem... |
7-Oct-04/8:32 AM |
Here's what bugs me:
S-1 (yet) it's a pothole. at least cold patch it, please
S-3 lines 1 and 2 contradict each other empty/full
and (fulfilled) would be fine just -filled
S-4 (yet) again. just drop that one.
Here's what I like:
Everything else. particularly the use of -spines-.
I know. rewrites suck. but they're so worth the effort.
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| regarding some deleted poem... |
7-Oct-04/8:33 AM |
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whoops. (IN) a crib of sycamore?
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| Re: Powder Blue by [mojo] |
7-Oct-04/8:39 AM |
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yes. a nice silk/satin groove.
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| Re: Potential Tragedy by [mojo] |
7-Oct-04/8:43 AM |
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| Re: Turbulence by horus8 |
18-Oct-04/2:31 PM |
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Flashbacks of fight club.
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| regarding some deleted poem... |
18-Oct-04/2:33 PM |
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Phenomenal cosmic power! itty bitty living space.
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| Re: Zipmark'd by fevriere |
21-Oct-04/7:06 AM |
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I like the psuedo-beat thing going on here. I think it's better than mine.
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| regarding some deleted poem... |
21-Oct-04/7:23 AM |
I appreciate the ten you gave me on my last poem. However, it is undeserved. The poem is a hack and a ripoff, nothing more.
I'll try to help you on this one, but take my help with a grain of salt. here goes.
S-1 (on) unnecessary.
S-2 L-4 Kill it. You can do better. Same for S-3 L-4
S-4 L-3 you're on the right track here.
Work the word (temptation) into the poem because I originall thought this was about a boy. Then I figured it's about the Lord.
This is all I know, hope it helps.
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| Re: Orbs by Bachus |
21-Oct-04/11:48 AM |
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Oh we do not. knock it off.
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| regarding some deleted poem... |
21-Oct-04/11:54 AM |
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