on some deleted poem
21 Oct 2004, 11:54 AM
I think this SMOKES!
on Cold Afternoon. by Sasha
1 Oct 2004, 6:21 AM
appeared? Excellent. like I need to tell you that.
I heard he's coming. maybe in 2011.
I heard he's coming. maybe in 2011.
on Eagledale Drive by klosterfobik
1 Oct 2004, 6:26 AM
And someone has the gall to slap you with a one? Ha on them.
on Coldfront by klosterfobik
1 Oct 2004, 6:33 AM
Novembers hope. ql
on some deleted poem
6 Oct 2004, 7:26 PM
I'm not gonna smart ass this time. Here's a tool for you, no charge.
the book is called: poemcrazy;freeing your life with words by Susan Goldsmith Woolridge 13.00 US
share it with CLS.
the book is called: poemcrazy;freeing your life with words by Susan Goldsmith Woolridge 13.00 US
share it with CLS.
on some deleted poem
6 Oct 2004, 7:34 PM
I've never been to Venice but that's what I saw this time. Based on pictures in books etc. Liked the first better for some reason.
on One True Instant by Dovina
6 Oct 2004, 7:36 PM
This hit me, like a Saxophone being put away.
on Beer Commercials by Jeremi B. Handrinos
6 Oct 2004, 7:39 PM
I got yanked into one of those mall survey things for beer once. I was sampling what came to be Black and Tan, I think. I think the sample tasted better than the final product.
on some deleted poem
6 Oct 2004, 7:49 PM
I went to blog, or was blogged, and now I know I should stay away from beat poems before I hurt myself.
Moses rocks.
Moses rocks.
on some deleted poem
6 Oct 2004, 7:57 PM
I gotta try one of these some day. lol.
on As I wait to shoot a mallard, I consider life by somemorepoetry
6 Oct 2004, 8:09 PM
Another poem that deserves at least some light but will get none. damnit.
on some deleted poem
7 Oct 2004, 8:32 AM
Here's what bugs me:
S-1 (yet) it's a pothole. at least cold patch it, please
S-3 lines 1 and 2 contradict each other empty/full
and (fulfilled) would be fine just -filled
S-4 (yet) again. just drop that one.
Here's what I like:
Everything else. particularly the use of -spines-.
I know. rewrites suck. but they're so worth the effort.
S-1 (yet) it's a pothole. at least cold patch it, please
S-3 lines 1 and 2 contradict each other empty/full
and (fulfilled) would be fine just -filled
S-4 (yet) again. just drop that one.
Here's what I like:
Everything else. particularly the use of -spines-.
I know. rewrites suck. but they're so worth the effort.
on some deleted poem
7 Oct 2004, 8:33 AM
whoops. (IN) a crib of sycamore?
on Powder Blue by [mojo]
7 Oct 2004, 8:39 AM
yes. a nice silk/satin groove.
on Potential Tragedy by [mojo]
7 Oct 2004, 8:43 AM
jeez -loueeze.
on Turbulence by horus8
18 Oct 2004, 2:31 PM
Flashbacks of fight club.
on some deleted poem
18 Oct 2004, 2:33 PM
Phenomenal cosmic power! itty bitty living space.
on some deleted poem
21 Oct 2004, 7:23 AM
I appreciate the ten you gave me on my last poem. However, it is undeserved. The poem is a hack and a ripoff, nothing more.
I'll try to help you on this one, but take my help with a grain of salt. here goes.
S-1 (on) unnecessary.
S-2 L-4 Kill it. You can do better. Same for S-3 L-4
S-4 L-3 you're on the right track here.
Work the word (temptation) into the poem because I originall thought this was about a boy. Then I figured it's about the Lord.
This is all I know, hope it helps.
I'll try to help you on this one, but take my help with a grain of salt. here goes.
S-1 (on) unnecessary.
S-2 L-4 Kill it. You can do better. Same for S-3 L-4
S-4 L-3 you're on the right track here.
Work the word (temptation) into the poem because I originall thought this was about a boy. Then I figured it's about the Lord.
This is all I know, hope it helps.