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Cold Afternoon. (Sonnet) by Sasha The many leaves were spiraled in a fall,
the ground absorbing any life still left
of branches growing bare and more bereft.
The skies were readying a rainy pall,
while men pulled on their ready coats, and all
the world appeard as bracing for a storm,
though none could know the fury or the form,
only that it had hushed the cricketâs call,
and night was on the wind -far more than one-
forboded in new darkness of the sun,
and skies swept clear of stars as by a hand-
all hinted something mad might break the land.
It wasnât much, but caused the race of men
to wonder when the dawn would come again.
Up the ladder:
Storms
Down the ladder:
I sat beside the night
Votes: (green: user, blue: anonymous)
Arithmetic Mean: 8.142858
Posted: September 29, 2004 2:10 PM PDT; Last modified: September 30, 2004 1:52 PM PDTWeighted score: 5.8452444 Overall Rank: 1587 Comments:
[7]
maffy @ 81.130.183.10
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30-Sep-04/5:25 AM
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Reply
good effort
[n/a]
Sasha @ 69.138.240.116
> maffy
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30-Sep-04/1:50 PM
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Reply
having taken a look at your Åvre, which at the moment consists of two posts, both of which have a rating below 5.0, I can't say the same for you.
last 2 lines do not rhyme on a sonnet
They can.
C.F. Shakespeare (sonnet 18, lines 13-14) "SO long as men can breathe or eyes can see, So long lives this, and this gives grace to thee." Wilfred Owen, Anthom for Doomed youth (lines 13-14) "Their flowers the tenderness of patient minds, and each slow dusk a drawing-down of blinds." Or the last lines from a sonnet by Ronsard, Les amours de Marie, XIX: "Ãa! Ãa! que je baise et votre beau tétin Cent fois pour vois apprendre à vous lever matin." In short, even though your word is law and god where poetic forms are concerned, and even though you are exceedingly well informed on the topic and I clearly don't know anything at all about it, the last 2 lines can, and frequently do rhyme in a sonnet.
Hit 'im again!!
Trill, like nuding with lark.
appeared? Excellent. like I need to tell you that.
I heard he's coming. maybe in 2011. 310 view(s)
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