Re: "The Buick", or, "to my grandfather" by david	11-May-02/10:48 PM
I'm not a catholic, but I'm pretty sure "Buick" isn't slang for penis.
Re: Loneliness by Cha no Onna	11-May-02/10:38 PM
Look at me, I'm a vampyre: FLAP FLAP FLAP FLAP
Re: The Beggar by -=Dark_Angel=-, P.I.	11-May-02/10:30 PM
Most of your poems aren't very funny. This one is. remember HATE THE AUDIENCE. We laugh when you're angry and we're angry when you laugh.
Re: Ode to a Red Trashcan by nentwined	11-May-02/10:10 PM
I'm sitting, but I will judge, and, in so doing, I will make you a blue trashbin.
Re: Pixie Wings And Rose Petals by onlyontuesdays	11-May-02/10:05 PM
I'm calling your bluff on this one, cheeky devil.
Re: Stars In My Eyes by onlyontuesdays	11-May-02/10:00 PM
Decent image content, but it is wasted in the self reference. Try removing all references to yourself and try replacing the concept of (your) him with something like that-special-someone-we-all-have-you-know-what-I'm-saying. And see if ending the poem with the broken lines from the center does anything. And furthermore you don't love me, you're just in love with my po-ems.
Re: Standards by skaskowski	11-May-02/9:36 PM
You are a pompous ass and I want to have your children and yet at the same time I want to cut your hands off and steal your keyboard. Bra vo.
Re: So Shall I For You by onlyontuesdays	11-May-02/9:35 PM
The rythm lacks the weight of the meaning- I suppose I would liken the sentiment in this poem to that of a raver saying the same words. Be as specific in intent as you can. Either speed it up (by making it more repetetive or by making the meaning unrealistically timeless/universal) or slow it down, to let it span some time. I think three's a good number to use (you use "forever" to start 3 lines), since we divide time into before now and after. Which is three things.
Re: A Moment by nentwined	11-May-02/9:29 PM
For some reason this poem seemed really...fast..not short so much but...it flowed fast....not well, not badly either, but it seemed really decisive, almost curt.
Re: No other limericks? by gothwalk	11-May-02/10:44 AM
UHUuhhh -s: awkward, confusing +s: this works in a limerick...although it's hardly catchy. Try some sexual innuendo in the last line.