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Standards (Free verse) by skaskowski
The world shatters... And my space is invaded, i worry about being underrated in comparison to the rest of our society When exposed to dilemma I start to melt Like wax in camera light For all to see To be judged by crudest societies. How many bowls of beans did you eat last week? Did their nutritional value Suffice To end the hunger pangs That add or drain Relief? I worry about my social standing This world is far too demandifying Since Defying senses Is the key to gaining points. So i trade my points For cheap souveniers The pyramids of Giza? I got one already The sticker on the bottom says "Made in China". Looking at the clock I can see i only have Eight more minutes to make An appointment With whom? I don't remember, but she has minty breath And a smile that pierces... was that Beth? Or was it a guy... Tim, yeah that's him And you wonder why I'm lost in a dream half the time. Does this suffice your standards? Rank me, give me points... I'll purchase self-esteem with them And nail it to my wall. Self indulgent...yet Abstract...yet Wholistic?...yet Hmm... Yes.

Up the ladder: #5
Down the ladder: With Marina

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Votes: (green: user, blue: anonymous)
 GraphVotes
10  .. 02
.. 01
.. 11
.. 12
.. 22
.. 25
.. 25
.. 01
.. 12
.. 12
.. 12

Arithmetic Mean: 4.5833335
Weighted score: 4.5833845
Overall Rank: 12568
Posted: March 16, 2002 1:14 AM PST; Last modified: March 16, 2002 1:14 AM PST
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Comments:
[10]... anonymous @ | 5-Jul-01/1:28 PM | Reply
demandifying?
[10]... anonymous @ | 7-Jul-01/1:32 AM | Reply
yup -- self-indulgent. Though it is interesting to see that rolled into your work. Good for you. Perhaps didactic explains it better. You sound like you're on a soap box, and not an original one..
[10]... anonymous @ | 26-Jul-01/3:58 PM | Reply
You definitely got points from me! I liked the flow of the poem, there weren't many blank or stop-spots that tripped me up. However, it did seem a bit disorganized. Perhaps that's what the world looks like when you're so caught up with how people rank you?!?
[10]... anonymous @ | 9-Sep-01/3:44 PM | Reply
keep dreaming... you need it
[10]... anonymous @ | 23-Apr-02/9:23 PM | Reply
yes, I agree with you, there are way too many sixes awarded in this place.
[10]... anonymous @ | 10-May-02/1:23 PM | Reply
clever... "wax in camera light" but needs heavy editing, paring.
[n/a] -=SeTTle=- @ | 11-May-02/9:36 PM | Reply
You are a pompous ass and I want to have your children and yet at the same time I want to cut your hands off and steal your keyboard.

Bra
vo.
[10]... anonymous @ | 11-May-02/10:46 PM | Reply
starts great loses it around the bean part
[6] baltimorejay @ 198.26.122.14 | 22-Jul-02/9:56 AM | Reply
Good poem - but somehow not all it could have been.
[8] Bachus @ 24.126.113.154 | 7-Aug-02/7:49 PM | Reply
This is more of that god damn art shit. But fuck it. It's smarter than goose shit. Good fertilizer. Don't knock good shit unless you try it! God damnit
[4] deleted user @ 66.8.154.13 | 8-Aug-02/1:56 AM | Reply
It's a little better this time.
[7] celticskatermatt1 @ 68.7.187.148 | 12-Nov-04/11:43 AM | Reply
sketchy man
259 view(s)




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