DetailsThe poem, its numbers, and the conversation.

Standards

Member since 2001 · Posted 16 Mar 2002 · 12 comments

The world shatters... And my space is invaded, i worry about being underrated in comparison to the rest of our society When exposed to dilemma I start to melt Like wax in camera light For all to see To be judged by crudest societies. How many bowls of beans did you eat last week? Did their nutritional value Suffice To end the hunger pangs That add or drain Relief? I worry about my social standing This world is far too demandifying Since Defying senses Is the key to gaining points. So i trade my points For cheap souveniers The pyramids of Giza? I got one already The sticker on the bottom says "Made in China". Looking at the clock I can see i only have Eight more minutes to make An appointment With whom? I don't remember, but she has minty breath And a smile that pierces... was that Beth? Or was it a guy... Tim, yeah that's him And you wonder why I'm lost in a dream half the time. Does this suffice your standards? Rank me, give me points... I'll purchase self-esteem with them And nail it to my wall. Self indulgent...yet Abstract...yet Wholistic?...yet Hmm... Yes.

Rate it

0 is the worst, 10 the best. Pick a number, add a comment if you like, then send it. Keys: 0–9 pick, Enter sends.

mean 4.58 weighted 4.58 rank 12555 views 259 View voting details →

36 votes so far. Yours would make 37.36 votes so far

12 comments

[10] anonymous 5-Jul-01/1:28 PM Reply

demandifying?

[10] anonymous 7-Jul-01/1:32 AM Reply

yup -- self-indulgent. Though it is interesting to see that rolled into your work. Good for you. Perhaps didactic explains it better. You sound like you're on a soap box, and not an original one..

[10] anonymous 26-Jul-01/3:58 PM Reply

You definitely got points from me! I liked the flow of the poem, there weren't many blank or stop-spots that tripped me up. However, it did seem a bit disorganized. Perhaps that's what the world looks like when you're so caught up with how people rank you?!?

[10] anonymous 9-Sep-01/3:44 PM Reply

keep dreaming... you need it

[10] anonymous 23-Apr-02/9:23 PM Reply

yes, I agree with you, there are way too many sixes awarded in this place.

[10] anonymous 10-May-02/1:23 PM Reply

clever... "wax in camera light" but needs heavy editing, paring.

[n/a] -=SeTTle=- 11-May-02/9:36 PM Reply

You are a pompous ass and I want to have your children and yet at the same time I want to cut your hands off and steal your keyboard.

Bra
vo.

[10] anonymous 11-May-02/10:46 PM Reply

starts great loses it around the bean part

[6] baltimorejay 22-Jul-02/9:56 AM Reply

Good poem - but somehow not all it could have been.

[8] Bachus 7-Aug-02/7:49 PM Reply

This is more of that god damn art shit. But fuck it. It's smarter than goose shit. Good fertilizer. Don't knock good shit unless you try it! God damnit

[4] deleted user 8-Aug-02/1:56 AM Reply

It's a little better this time.

[7] celticskatermatt1 12-Nov-04/11:43 AM Reply

sketchy man