Poemranker [20 most recent comments by amanda

replying on Nomads by amanda_dcosta 3 Feb 2006, 11:46 AM

Then why don't they tell me the quality of the haiku isn't great. I'd appreciate that, rather than quibble on the format.

replying on Nomads by amanda_dcosta 3 Feb 2006, 11:40 AM

Alchemy, some egs. from the link mentioned go like this....
mime
lifting
fog
............Jerry Kilbride, Sacremento

and another,...

meteor shower...
a gentle wave
wets our sandals
......Michael Dylan Welch, washington

It doesn't look like we have to stick to the set rule. That's for Japanese.

replying on Nomads by amanda_dcosta 3 Feb 2006, 11:35 AM

Tell me zodiac, is it technically wrong in the english style(other than the japanese) to write a haiku like the one I've written? I might not have written one on the 5-7-5 outline (actually my first one was), but I tried to convey my idea from the way i've written after reading quite a bit from the haiku sites. I've read some with just 11 syllables in it. I don't think that just because its not 5-7-5, its off track. Don't you agree with that.

on A Walk in the Park by Dovina 2 Feb 2006, 10:00 PM

Quite nice.... no, very nice. Probably I like it cause its feminine. Well written, and the ending strikes out well.

replying on For such is a childâs heart by amanda_dcosta 2 Feb 2006, 9:53 PM

Somehow the sunshine isn't doing a good job. I might have to fire him. I'll give him a couple of day's notice and then find him a replacement. Anybody in mind to fill his seat? :-)

replying on The Book of Images by Dovina 2 Feb 2006, 9:46 PM

It's okay to copy. Aren't we all copying someone or the other, as long as the collection is what you wanted in. That's where I point out that you have your say in what you want to put in - collect bits and pieces of others' work.

replying on The Book of Images by Dovina 2 Feb 2006, 9:36 PM

You're waiting for Tarzan, I presume. Sorry, he's busy with Jane. maybe, when she's not around you might be lucky.

replying on Nomads by amanda_dcosta 2 Feb 2006, 9:31 PM

Wandering black birds
Flying in the blue sky so high,
Pray, tell me whither

Is this better?

Anyway, wandering birds are those that you see flying around in the sky - esp. the crows, looking for food or carcas. They have no specific form or order. They are not migratory birds. I merely asked them where they were off to.

on Penny Loafer Blues by ALChemy 2 Feb 2006, 8:58 AM

Isn't it supposed to be size 11 soles? (U wrote 'souls') Is it to imply anything? Nice poem..Good story. Prose form good.... though I would have liked it in shorter lines. Seems to take away some of the emphasis. But the story.... I have to give it to you! Cheers!

on Nomads by amanda_dcosta 2 Feb 2006, 8:50 AM

http://www.haikuworld.org/begin/mdwelch.apr2003.html

replying on Nomads by amanda_dcosta 2 Feb 2006, 8:29 AM

It's even 3-5-3, 4-6-4, 5-7-5.....I think it works like this. I could be wrong. Tis might help -

http://www.toyomasu.com/haiku/#howtowritehaiku

on Les Imagistes by Nicholas Jones 2 Feb 2006, 12:27 AM

Reading all the stuff put down here, I'm inspired to write a poem titled "Dreamer". As for your poem.... its good. its got matter and a sense of imagining where you are.

on The Book of Images by Dovina 1 Feb 2006, 10:44 PM

Dovina.... very good. a good collection of images. I think I will vote you a -10-. I have been reading all the reviews here, and have taken note of advice given, for you to improve on your style, or write some matter of your own, (not to copy ideas) or to read other major poets(eg. Keats) etc. what I would like to point out is that, almost everybody copies ideas, or copy the style of some poet or the other. If Keats could have his style, or Blake have his, I don't see why you can't have your own style or view on what you want to present. So for that reason I think I'd vote you what I did. Am I being abstract?

replying on Our Marriage by amanda_dcosta 30 Jan 2006, 9:59 PM

Aah... Alchemy,...you not married, right?

replying on Racial Hate by Glasseyez 30 Jan 2006, 7:49 PM

Tom Cruise - sexy? No way! His acting only irritates me. As for Tom Hanks.....he might be a better choice.

replying on Racial Hate by Glasseyez 29 Jan 2006, 9:38 PM

Glasseyez, you have no comment on what's going on? Sitting back and enjoying the debate, aren't you? :-) Enjoy!

replying on For such is a childâs heart by amanda_dcosta 29 Jan 2006, 9:24 PM

Thanks Ranger. I did write this about three to four times, revising the paras till what its turned out. But have to admit, didn't change the first line. Didn't give that a second thought. Probably that was because that was what gave me the rest of the poem. About it being too bulky, is it, really? Didn't think so. Anyhow, shall give it another thought, though I might not post it here. Thanks.

replying on For such is a childâs heart by amanda_dcosta 29 Jan 2006, 9:19 PM

And then you'd give me a -10-? ha ha ..Just kidding! Thanks Alchemy.

replying on Our Marriage by amanda_dcosta 29 Jan 2006, 7:26 PM

You've got it Niphredil. It is indeed a threesome. Marriage just aint about two people, you take the third out and your marriage is bound to hit the rocks. Have you ever wondered why there's so much make-break arrangements in marriage these days?Think about this. It might not click now, but only time will tell.

on How small, this sleeping tiger by ecargo 29 Jan 2006, 10:10 AM

I'll vote an -8-. A nice piece to think about. the wild cat with the mastodons. Very imaginative. I've been trying to think of something different when I came across your poem. Pretty good.

Now for taking your advice,....lol... but I did.
Check out my poem 'such is a child's heart'. I'd value criticism more than a vote. Do me the honors and check it out. Thanks.