| regarding some deleted poem... |
6-Jul-05/1:33 AM |
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| Re: Our Soldiers by Lenore |
7-Jul-05/1:56 AM |
their life's the war's.
their life "is" the War's life? is that what it means?
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| Re: Damned by darby pyn |
7-Jul-05/2:30 PM |
not one of these lines produces any pictures or feelings in me. Mostly, I'm just confused.
for instance: what does hiding have to do with wilting?
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| Re: London Calling by Bluemonkey |
7-Jul-05/2:31 PM |
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| Re: Autumn by keatsImnot |
7-Jul-05/2:33 PM |
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Autumn by definition is a time.
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| Re: Slice Open My Body by TLRufener |
9-Jul-05/11:25 PM |
I would change the first two lines a little.
I'd write something like
"I'd tell you to slice open my body
and tear out my heart,
but you already have."
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| Re: When my place is placeless by Prince of Void |
9-Jul-05/11:30 PM |
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| Re: There she is! by CarterTribe |
12-Jul-05/12:13 PM |
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this was long. I stopped reading it twice. Forced myself to finish. I wasn't surprised at the end.
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| Re: Birth, school, work and death. by darby pyn |
13-Jul-05/12:04 PM |
you left out the line "I've got shmelgass in my gonectagazoink."
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| regarding some deleted poem... |
14-Jul-05/12:05 PM |
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| regarding some deleted poem... |
14-Jul-05/12:09 PM |
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I think it's crap. last three lines were okay though.
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| regarding some deleted poem... |
14-Jul-05/12:11 PM |
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| regarding some deleted poem... |
19-Jul-05/2:03 AM |
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utterly disgusting spelling.
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| Re: The sunset sea. by darby pyn |
19-Jul-05/2:05 AM |
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Oh my Fucking Howdy! Man...this just plain tires me out. I'm not voting on this.
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| Re: A Good Man Ruined by Dovina |
19-Jul-05/2:07 AM |
Jimmy Buffet said it better.
"Wasting away again in Margaritaville..."
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| regarding some deleted poem... |
19-Jul-05/2:09 AM |
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| Re: she sits back and judges me by hendrimike |
20-Jul-05/12:38 PM |
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| Re: Hindsight by darby pyn |
23-Jul-05/7:03 PM |
I read this once and hated it. I read it a second time and hated it. I just now read it again while listening to a song called Pathogenic Occular Dissonance and now feel like dying.
two lines you should keep: "I stole my father's eyes to see" and "These are sad eyes I stare through"
junk the rest and say something understandable.
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| Re: A thank you note(Not a poem at all) by thepinkbunnyofdoom |
24-Jul-05/12:58 PM |
What is hilarious is how you think his actions have to do with YOU.
You are not very good at poetry no matter what you think. I've never liked anything you've written. But what does it matter? you wouldn't like my poetry either.
this too, is a bad poem.
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| regarding some deleted poem... |
26-Jul-05/11:16 AM |
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