| Re: On Golden Bond by jmalone |
23-Jan-06/8:03 AM |
|
Lose all the "On Golden Pond" references(i.e. Title and last line of stanza 1)and you've got yourself a really good poem.
|
|
|
 |
| Re: a comment on Jailbird by zodiac |
22-Jan-06/10:51 PM |
|
She probably just thought you were looking at dirty pictures on the internet:)
|
|
|
|
| Re: Best left unsaid (trust first instincts edit, w/thanks) by ecargo |
21-Jan-06/4:54 AM |
|
Like your new screen name.
|
|
|
|
| Re: a comment on Best left unsaid (trust first instincts edit, w/thanks) by ecargo |
20-Jan-06/7:44 PM |
Honestly I don't remember being taught anything but lymerics in school.(sad, I know)
I just remembered reading an article somewhere about how that's the way english teachers are doing it now.
I do remember being taught metaphor, simile, etc. in school though.
|
|
|
|
| Re: a comment on Best left unsaid (trust first instincts edit, w/thanks) by ecargo |
20-Jan-06/3:53 PM |
|
Yes, I'm still mourning the loss of Rockmage.
|
|
|
|
| Re: a comment on Best left unsaid (trust first instincts edit, w/thanks) by ecargo |
20-Jan-06/3:51 PM |
"I've had eighteen straight whiskies, I think that's the record..." ~~ Dylan Thomas' last words. How could you not love a guy like that.
Yeah, I think many english teachers make a mistake in teaching free verse before conventional poetry simply because it's easier.
You must first learn to paint like Michelangelo before you can paint like Picasso.
You've got a great foundation to build off from.
I only wish you had a more comfortably addressable screen name.
|
|
|
|
| Re: a comment on May I Help by Dovina |
20-Jan-06/3:26 PM |
|
Damn, you ruined it. And I was almost there too.
|
|
|
|
| Re: a comment on Best left unsaid (trust first instincts edit, w/thanks) by ecargo |
20-Jan-06/3:23 PM |
|
Anytime. I was looking at some of your other stuff. You've got quite a range.
|
|
|
|
| Re: a comment on May I Help by Dovina |
20-Jan-06/3:18 PM |
|
OK, now tell me you were making out with a cheerleader at the time and I'll die a happy man. (Sorry, couldnât resist.)
|
|
|
|
| Re: Best left unsaid (trust first instincts edit, w/thanks) by ecargo |
20-Jan-06/3:07 PM |
Well I never! At least not from that end.
I'm not that happy with the layout though. Play with it for a while(pun-alert!) and see what comes out.
Like:
My tongue's
loose
slide
would soon
let slip this truth,
bruise-blue,
kept fast behind
these sentinal teeth.
We meet,
touch,
fuck;
we seldom speak much more
than surface gloss.
From niceties
to wordless heat
we move. Here
with your big
hand warm on my neck,
I swallow
words thick with promise,
glistening like larva
trapped in tissue webs,
a palate ridged as a whale's.
I'd consume you
whole, take you deep,
sliding
soft as a worm,
down
down
in a sudden
gasp.
|
|
|
|
| Re: Everything is Nothing by Donne With Life |
20-Jan-06/2:40 PM |
|
Here's a 10. Don't kill yourself.
|
|
|
|
| Re: a comment on May I Help by Dovina |
20-Jan-06/2:32 PM |
Oh, so transvestites can't be beautiful. Well you must be real popular over there in San Fagsisco.
See I even know the best comebacks to my own remarks.
|
|
|
|
| Re: a comment on What is it about brothers? by Tara57 |
20-Jan-06/2:26 PM |
|
This is one reason why I chose not to study psychology.
|
|
|
|
| Re: What is it about brothers? by Tara57 |
20-Jan-06/2:24 PM |
|
I have no brothers but two sisters. It pretty much works the same way with them. Go figure.
|
|
|
|
| Re: a comment on Cold-Blooded Pillow by drnick |
20-Jan-06/11:57 AM |
|
Yeah but would you sleep with someone who thought of you like that? It just comes across a little on the psycho side which is fine if you really mean it. I just think you went a little too far with it. Your other stuff is better.
|
|
|
|
| Re: Beard my Homemade Negro Jesus (Improved! With AIDS!) by Everyone |
20-Jan-06/10:50 AM |
I bearded black Jesus with tape
So he can't snitch 'bout the nun I raped
I shoved up her chaste buns
an old sawed off shotgun
and then-BOOM!-whoops my mistake.
|
|
|
|
| Re: a comment on Beard my Homemade Negro Jesus (Improved! With AIDS!) by Everyone |
20-Jan-06/10:34 AM |
|
|
|
| Re: Cold-Blooded Pillow by drnick |
20-Jan-06/12:24 AM |
Do you mean "Inevitability"?
Is this poem supposed to make you sound like some kind of bad-ass or supreme evil doer?
|
|
|
|
| Re: May I Help by Dovina |
20-Jan-06/12:13 AM |
|
Nice. I'm not a girl so I can't identify with it but nice.
|
|
|
|
| Re: a comment on The Deep End by drnick |
19-Jan-06/3:29 PM |
|
Your current title has a 26.3% chance of being a best seller.
|
|
|
|
