| Re: Memories of a Suicidal Sophomore by CemeteryBuffsOnline |
29-Mar-05/9:06 PM |
Wouldn't it suck if Janice committed suicide? lol
This is a strong sentiment, if not exactly a poem. Try to avoid cliches, i.e. "Janice is my rock, my hope, my strength, my life." The narrator seems to struggle with individualism, so it hurts when she chooses such common, trite phrasing.
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| Re: For those of you by sk8rs_rule_all |
29-Mar-05/9:01 PM |
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This would be twice as good if it were half as long. There's not _that_ much here.
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| Re: "Lovers or Friends" by jroday |
29-Mar-05/8:57 PM |
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IMHO, the "friends and lovers" theme has been done to death. This undermines an otherwise decent poem.
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| Re: Against the Gorgon by thepinkbunnyofdoom |
29-Mar-05/8:52 PM |
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I don't get it. If it's an accidental suicide, then why is one person on the floor and the other clutching his/her chest? Is it a murder-suicide? A double suicide? Or does the chest-clutching mean something other than death?
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| Re: Make Music in Your Heart by Dovina |
29-Mar-05/8:49 PM |
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Easily the best poem of yours that I've read. Perhaps I'll visit your archives....
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| Re: a comment on JJâs Church by Dovina |
16-Mar-05/12:13 AM |
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By the grace of god, I no longer visit churches _or_ bars. Thanks for the explanation. One of the better things about poemranker: it's interesting to get inside the mind of the poet. Of course, this is one of the worst parts of poemranker, as well: the mind of a poet can be an ugly place. The poem makes much more sense now. Thanks for clarifying.
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| Re: JJâs Church by Dovina |
15-Mar-05/10:11 AM |
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What's this about? Since the elders are setting "tables," there must be quite a few of them (since the poem mentions 1 paritioner, 1 administrator, and 1 pastor). Is the poem about the otherizing -- everyone but you is an elder/pastor/administrator? Like your other religious-themed poetry, I'm afraid the meaning is lost on me.
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| Re: a comment on Deja-Vu by Rainbow_chaser |
15-Mar-05/10:04 AM |
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This is exactly how I was going to respond.
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| Re: Delusions Of A Peaceful Place by Stacy Stewart |
15-Mar-05/10:01 AM |
"a victory lost to a bittersweet -- defeat."
I'm not sure what the victory would have been. As I read it, the poem is solely about defeat.
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| Re: Sauvignon by Dovina |
14-Mar-05/10:33 PM |
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Funny, yes. Poetry, afraid not. 8 for the laugh.
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| Re: a comment on You took my half dozen (revised) by poodietat |
14-Mar-05/10:30 PM |
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Can't one remember that something felt not-good? In your rush to criticize, you may have ignored gramatical accuracy. Thanks for your vote & comment.
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| Re: Pacifics by zodiac |
13-Mar-05/10:18 AM |
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"amnesiac sea" = good shit. 10
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| Re: Ann & Dan & I by Goad |
8-Feb-05/9:37 AM |
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| Re: Ann & Dan & I by Goad |
8-Feb-05/9:20 AM |
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| Re: Ann & Dan & I by Goad |
8-Feb-05/9:20 AM |
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| Re: Nuculer Power by MacFrantic |
8-Feb-05/9:19 AM |
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i like the double-meaning of "rings": "fusion rings" and "rings like".
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| Re: Separation by Dovina |
8-Feb-05/9:14 AM |
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Sorry, I don't get it. Most of the poem seemed as if the character is choosing among competing doctrine, then we find out she already has a fatherless son -- indicating she's already made a choice. Maybe I'm not steeped enough in christian sects to understand this.
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| Re: a comment on Sins of your father by poodietat |
8-Feb-05/9:07 AM |
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Fair comment, good point.
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| Re: a comment on You took my half dozen by poodietat |
6-Feb-05/8:31 AM |
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Thanks for the comments. I had to look up Burkowskian. Good stuff from Burkowsky - I'm reading more, even as I type.
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