| Poem: Submit | Random | Best | Worst | Recent | Comments |
|
Make Music in Your Heart (Free verse) by Dovina Stroke your bow upon the strings
if in your heart a melody sings
and the sound you make
will thrill all listening souls
Teachers tell you scales to learn
and musicianship must be earned
but their salaries they protect
and you will go in debt
So raise a bow and hold a cello
think loving thoughts of some fine fellow
and the sounds that flow
if you have no doubt
will wander the room so sweet
theyâll call you back to repeat.
This is how I learned the piano
and how Iâve learned to write now
Up the ladder:
far but close
Down the ladder:
Memory
Votes: (green: user, blue: anonymous)
Arithmetic Mean: 6.7777777
Posted: March 28, 2005 7:43 AM PST; Last modified: March 28, 2005 11:18 AM PSTWeighted score: 5.888889 Overall Rank: 1496 Comments:
D. luv the flo, keep doin' the dayum thang sugga.
Glad you like the dayum thang I did. If only I knew what I've done.
D. that's my youngest son he's a music major.
I like the poem.
Gotta love music.
Yep, but love takes work and time.
Hello Dovina hope you're doing fine.
I love the poem, because I wanted to be a pro. musician before I became a math teacher. trying to play the piano was enough for me.
Six weeks of piano lessons were enough to send me back to the sand box.
Too much flummery.
Has my silky talk offended your sensibilities? Then you have missed the obvious underlying meaning in lines like âtheyâll call you back to repeat.â
Do you honestly think I still read your poemes before commenting? Dear God! you haven't grasped this at all have you?All your poemes are pervaded by a desperation to be in some way recognised as a genius - you are therefore deserving only of flippant trumps in response.
By not reading them, you make yourself an able commentor.
Easily the best poem of yours that I've read. Perhaps I'll visit your archives....
I suspect the only music you make is in your billowing bloomers.
I don't wear bloomers.
The content is great, but the flow is awful. Though there were some mediocre lines, for example:
'This is how I learned the piano and how Iâve learned to write now' It sounds like a 5 year old wrote it. And by the way, we are all still learning. The flow seems very elementary and abecedarian, so please work on that. As well, learn to accept criticism. Your comments to the reviews, (any comment to reviewing, if not for elucidation, is wrong in my opinion) were extremely puerile. Accept it, and move on. You shouldn't try to fight with people to change their views to ones you agree with. Be mature.
Seldom does someone comment on one of my poems as you have done here. They usually raise other issues, often having nothing to do with the poem, with which I often argue. You have stated your opinion of the poem, and I accept it.
You just think that because we don't make comments like "How nice it is to make music as a metaphor for writing" just to show how ace we are for getting it.
And I do appreciate your not doing that.
I mean, I understand the need to build people up with some nice comment or a bit showing you get how clever they are, and in real life I do. But I don't think poemranker users care very much what anybody says to them one way or the other, so it's not like it matters. And personally, I don't think making music is a very nice metaphor for writing. Sorry.
314 view(s)
|
||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
and you the one in debt
and part of the reason I write now"
Good thought but the tiniest editing on these lines would help the flow. -9- for now.