Re: Ahkataka Akarnakuray by Imago	28-Oct-04/8:08 PM
This one seems to get alot of hits but no comments. Strange?
Re: Ahkataka Akarnakuray by Imago	28-Oct-04/8:21 PM
I didn't know there was a difference between the two. I just liked the harder sound of "pray thee" and the omenous double meaning of the word Pray. To put the lines in quotations is a better idea. Forgive me for my bad punctuation. This is the type of criticism I like. This is something I can use.
regarding some deleted poem...	28-Oct-04/8:33 PM
First off. Thank you for your comment it was very useful. It feels like a rhyming poem but the fact that it doesn't rhyme takes nothing away from it. Obviously you've read the old masters as well as Karouac an Ginsberg. With repetion and flowery language it could have easily faltered but it didn't. 8
Re: Ahkataka Akarnakuray by Imago	28-Oct-04/8:46 PM
"art thou" "are you" I see what you mean. But I think it might throw off the beat a little. Let me spin it around in my head for a while and then I'll get back to you on it.
Re: Call upon the wrath of god on ye by Imago	28-Oct-04/9:30 PM
It's about child abuse. Sorry tree huggers.
Re: Ending by Dovina	28-Oct-04/10:00 PM
Very vivid images. Well written but could use a stanza dedicated to the beauty of what the place was, for the sake of contrast. Right now it's more depressing than tragic. This poem should be bigger. I feel there's a great story in there. Right now it's a great photograph but I want the movie. 8 for now
Re: Ash by horus8	28-Oct-04/10:24 PM
Seems the poem is a metaphor for something lost. If so here's my solution. Do not the burning embers dwindle In the light of thier own lives (Yet)the oldest flames may still rekindle This is how love survives Let tragedy bind a family. I give you an 8 'cause I don't get the "bone for rain" thing.
regarding some deleted poem...	28-Oct-04/11:15 PM
If only it were true. The second verse is a 10 the others are 8. So 9 for you.
Re: From Womb To Wood by Caducus	29-Oct-04/12:35 PM
Great images. Good conclusion. The last stanza breaks up a little but the last 3 lines redeem it. 9
Re: Call upon the wrath of god on ye by Imago	29-Oct-04/2:06 PM
Like this? call upon the wrath of god for the sword he yields is truth and through his word procure A spot of holy ground and the seed you sow may grow and bloom into something that is pure
Re: The Old Man by spriggan	29-Oct-04/11:06 PM
Just the last part is concrete. But still a good story. Chris Reeves would be proud.
regarding some deleted poem...	29-Oct-04/11:19 PM
Hello President Bush how are you. No really I agree with your stance. I once wrote about this too. A child unwanted is all the more wanted, This I know to be true, For they are like angels meant only for heaven, Those who we wish we knew, Some are to be born into a world of regret, Others to be born into death, Some seeking love never getting enough of, Others never getting a breath. Your poems good but could use some shortening.
regarding some deleted poem...	29-Oct-04/11:29 PM
You don't need the second sentence. The bird puns were a little corny but fit with the story. Is it me or do my comments have a tendancy to rhyme. Oh well makes up for all that damn free verse out there. Anyhow I loved the story. And I suppose it's poetry so bravo.
Re: whilst the bells ring by richa	30-Oct-04/1:19 AM
Whilst ropes huh? Sounds a little archaic for common language
Re: whilst the bells ring by richa	30-Oct-04/1:31 AM
It's all fine except the "ding a dong" part. Last time my dong was dinged it hurt like hell.
Re: Fascists by Imago	30-Oct-04/11:51 PM
Yes legion and many mean the same thing. It's a quote.
Re: Call upon the wrath of god on ye by Imago	31-Oct-04/6:28 PM
This pope gave up his robes Celestine V didn't want to be pope and tried to retire to monastery By Tony Staley Compass Editor St. Celestine V When: 1210-1296 Where: Italy What: Founder of an order of monks and pope Canonized: 1313 Feast: May 19 An old saying warns: Be careful what you ask for, you might get it. St. Celestine V may have wished he had heeded that warning. As the abbot of an order of monks, he told the College of Cardinals to stop their fighting, which had gone on for two years, and elect a new pope. If they didn't, he warned, he would call the wrath of God down upon them. So on July 5, 1294, the cardinals elected the 84-year-old abbot as the new pope.
Re: Call upon the wrath of god on ye by Imago	31-Oct-04/6:46 PM
Formula of Pious Consensus Among the Pastors of the Saxon Churches Entered into the Public Record at the Synod of Mediasch 22 June 1572_. by Lucas Ungleich [aka Lukas Unglerus], 1526-1600 -:But as many as scorn the Son by their unbelief are condemned, and the wrath of God remains upon them. but the blame falls back on ourselves, who stubbornly resist the divine will, and by our sins call the wrath of God and punishments upon ...
Re: Call upon the wrath of god on ye by Imago	31-Oct-04/6:50 PM
CHERUBIM AND SERAPHIM By Mary M. Bodie "We emphasize the fact which is especially interesting and instructive to us, that it is not Christ alone but His people also - His Body - who will have part in the thrilling scenes of the Day of the Lord. We notice the significant fact, that the living creatures will call the wrath of God into evidence - Rev. 6."
Re: Call upon the wrath of god on ye by Imago	31-Oct-04/7:49 PM
wrath:Punishment or vengeance as a manifestation of anger. Divine retribution for sin The line can be interpreted as. Request the vengeance of god on those who see fit... It's meant as an answer to "what should I do about these people. Obviously I'm barking up the wrong tree.