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Ahkataka Akarnakuray (Other) by Imago
Somewhere along the Nile rotten Lay the corpse of one so soon forgotten So soon forgotten on the Nile bank he lay So covered was his face with flies That one shan’t ever recognize The man called Ahkataka Akarnakuray Now Ahkataka Akarnakuray was the first born of King Kahlazimbay Kahlazimbay the greatest king to ever sit Upon the much sought after thrown of the greatest earthly kingdom known The ancient fabled land of grizzlegrit And in the land of grizzlegrit The grizzly elders in their wit Saw fit to sit and talk a bit about our prince Our prince whose father’s bell is tolling His crown to him he’ll soon be doling With sadness beyond consoling his reign shall commence Such sadness for his fallen sire That madness they say will conspire Conspire to corrupt our empire’s heir The elders thinking up a test In the kingdoms best interest To know his head was sound enough upon a crown to wear To know his head could bare the burden and the only way to know for certain Was to inquire kingly knowledge and hear what he might say And so they brought the prince before them and said your father, how we adore him Pray thee tell us are you not the reincarnate of the great Kahlazimbay Pray thee are you sound in mind Let your thoughts now be defined But defined was nothing for he spoke not a single word So satisfied in their suspicion The elders now made their decision To smite the offensive head with their mighty sword On the day of the falling sword The citizens gathered in a horde All whispered and wondered what the doomed prince would say But the prince spoke not a note Till the blade went through his throat Then his severed head howled Ahkataka Akarnakuray As the fearful crowd dispersed They all knew they had been cursed So like mighty Rome, Grizzlegrit soon fell And it’s said in many an ancient fable If you listen close you may be able to hear the citizens crying out his name from hell So there upon the Nile bank his head and body lay With birds a-peckin’ at his flank And ask why you may And in reply I say Ask Ahkataka Akarnakuray

Up the ladder: My Hand of god
Down the ladder: Atlantis Destroyed

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Arithmetic Mean: 6.0
Weighted score: 5.119203
Overall Rank: 5878
Posted: October 25, 2004 2:04 AM PDT; Last modified: October 25, 2004 2:04 AM PDT
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Comments:
[n/a] Imago @ 64.8.77.198 | 28-Oct-04/8:08 PM | Reply
This one seems to get alot of hits but no comments. Strange?
[7] Tintagiles @ 198.164.251.198 | 28-Oct-04/8:08 PM | Reply
Either change 'Pray thee' to 'Prithee' or keep the second person singular throughout the whole sentence (e. g.: 'Pray thee art thou sound in mind?'
[n/a] Imago @ 64.8.77.198 | 28-Oct-04/8:21 PM | Reply
I didn't know there was a difference between the two.
I just liked the harder sound of "pray thee" and the omenous double meaning of the word Pray. To put the lines in quotations is a better idea. Forgive me for my bad punctuation. This is the type of criticism I like. This is something I can use.
[n/a] Imago @ 64.8.77.198 | 28-Oct-04/8:46 PM | Reply
"art thou" "are you" I see what you mean. But I think it might throw off the beat a little. Let me spin it around in my head for a while and then I'll get back to you on it.
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