Re: a comment on A Better God by Dovina	26-Oct-04/10:15 AM
Oh I see, you want me to replace my gross error, "My creatures will discover all that I’ve made quite pleasing and right" with your sublime, "My creatures will find all the things that I've made quite pleasing and right".
Re: a comment on Withering Rose by Imago	25-Oct-04/8:54 PM
I didn't mean to hurt your head, and I knew what you meant. Those lines were not well stated, that was all.
Re: Withering Rose by Imago	25-Oct-04/3:17 PM
Some good thoughts here, but lack of precision detracts. In verse 1, beauty does not make things like homes. In vers 2, "and this the state i've found you" doesn't add anything. Verse 3 is good. In Verse 4, "How time has shown it's presence" lacks meaning.. . .
Re: Unwanted by Fire_is_cool	25-Oct-04/3:10 PM
The commas are mostly not right. This is not really a poem, but a statement in prose, a missive.
Re: Vesper Song by M Hamill	25-Oct-04/2:02 PM
The first two lines say almost nothing. They set a dull pace which does not improve very much.
Re: You by Fire_is_cool	25-Oct-04/1:59 PM
If you want to post a new poem, please do so. But when you pose a new poem as a revision of an old poem, the old comments look crazy.
Re: what a load by the outhouse poet	25-Oct-04/1:47 PM
From an outhouse at a campground long ago. Not original.
Re: Untitled by Imago	25-Oct-04/11:53 AM
Two misspelled words and too broad. Needs specifics.
Re: a comment on Women by Bakar	25-Oct-04/11:46 AM
A trifle or an enormous concept, but not both.
Re: a comment on A Better God by Dovina	25-Oct-04/11:28 AM
#2, for example, is an alright use of the word "discover" because they discover what god has made (step 1) and find it pleasing (step 2). It's a poem for god's sake, not a technical writing on science and religion.
Re: a comment on A Better God by Dovina	24-Oct-04/6:30 PM
No, I would only metafail under this scenario, which brings us back to what Jroday and I are saying.
Re: a comment on Women by Bakar	24-Oct-04/12:12 PM
Ah, my searching sir, your question is too lopsided. We find what we want together.
Re: a comment on Bra in a Bar by Dovina	24-Oct-04/12:09 PM
A good poem from the other side of the bar and another side of life.
Re: a comment on Bra in a Bar by Dovina	24-Oct-04/9:42 AM
somehow "good" and "upscale" seem contracdictory.
Re: a comment on Bra in a Bar by Dovina	24-Oct-04/9:41 AM
"trapped in a horseshoe" What's that? Thanks.
Re: a comment on A Better God by Dovina	24-Oct-04/9:32 AM
while a few of your points make some kind of sense, this is mostly ill-conceived nonsense unworthy of your time and my response.
Re: a comment on A Better God by Dovina	24-Oct-04/9:30 AM
Not a bad suggestion on S2, L1. "Praise sought" is sought by God. That seems to be one of His desires. "Praise uttered," then is a human response. Thanks for your thoughts.
Re: a comment on A Better God by Dovina	23-Oct-04/1:26 PM
I have to admit the beat got irregular, but I kept the offset lines for what beat there is.
Re: a comment on A Better God by Dovina	23-Oct-04/1:23 PM
See what I mean.
Re: a comment on A Better God by Dovina	23-Oct-04/10:59 AM
Thank you, that's true, but it's still pleasant to hear. I might add that insults slammed at poets and poetry (I'm speaking of others, not you) form no part of the quality of those people or their work. Calling someone dim, for example, or his poetry shit, has no relevance to useful criticism or evaluation.