replying on Damn you, Feeling. by Rollsoftoiletpaper
16 Oct 2004, 8:39 PM
lol same here. But shhh thats our secret. :p
on Damn you, Feeling. by Rollsoftoiletpaper
16 Oct 2004, 6:36 PM
Well I'm glad you got how you were feeling out. Keep your chin up, if that person doesn't realize what a good friend you are, then that's their loss. I know you've probably heard those very same words spoken to you a million times before, but its the truth.
Out of pure curiosity, I'm just wondering how old you are?
Out of pure curiosity, I'm just wondering how old you are?
on Story Never Told by Sirens_Voice
12 Oct 2004, 7:34 PM
Good idea, perhaps you could substitute lost for stuck in line 18? Oh and in the 4th to last line maybe say "My story," that way it isn't repeating so much and puts more emphasis on the "fairy tale" idea in the last line. :)
replying on Bracelets In A Box by cuddlytiger17
12 Oct 2004, 7:14 PM
Thank you very much. And just in case you'd like to know, Sasha and I resolved our "differences" quite some months ago. Haven't heard from him at all lately though. Ah well. Anyways thanks for the comment, I appreciate it. :)
replying on Feast On Me by cuddlytiger17
12 Oct 2004, 7:03 PM
I changed target to armor, is it any better now?
replying on Feast On Me by cuddlytiger17
12 Oct 2004, 3:25 PM
Could you elaborate a little more? What's inconsistent in quality, and are you suggesting that maybe I should omit some lines and reword others?
replying on Feast On Me by cuddlytiger17
11 Oct 2004, 1:06 PM
I meant the "barrier" as being an emotional shield, and it being torn apart as a target is. Now that I look at it though, you're right, it doesn't make much sense how I worded it...Maybe you have some suggestions as to how I could fix it? That is if you understand what I was trying to say now? Thank you.
replying on Feast On Me by cuddlytiger17
10 Oct 2004, 8:40 PM
Oh thanks for ur kindness! lol. haha.
replying on A Reflective Window by lukehanney
10 Oct 2004, 6:15 PM
ur very welcome. when/if you make any changes let me know, I'd love to see them. :)
replying on Old Man by Rollsoftoiletpaper
10 Oct 2004, 6:10 PM
ur welcome. :)
replying on Call of the Moon by arduinn
10 Oct 2004, 6:08 PM
ur welcome, anytime.
replying on Feast On Me by cuddlytiger17
10 Oct 2004, 5:04 PM
a pimple is generally written by teens expressing "teen angst," and usually isn't very good. They contain very common rhymes and lack word variation.
on Call of the Moon by arduinn
9 Oct 2004, 8:01 PM
Last line-should behave be behaving? -7-
on A Reflective Window by lukehanney
9 Oct 2004, 7:56 PM
I really liked this. It flows so well. Only problem I had was with the last 2 lines of the 8th stanza. They didn't flow as the rest of the poem did. Otherwise it's really great! ~10~
on I Cannot Go by TLRufener
9 Oct 2004, 7:47 PM
It started out alright, but then it got pretty corny.
on Old Man by Rollsoftoiletpaper
9 Oct 2004, 4:01 PM
3rd line needs an "r" on "you"
replying on Nothing's Forever by cuddlytiger17
8 Oct 2004, 8:18 PM
lol nopes. gotta love it.
replying on I'll Make It Through by cuddlytiger17
7 Aug 2004, 9:36 PM
yea i know it could be. its the first one i've ever really written. I'm from central NY, not too far north of syracuse. why?