| Re: a comment on Damn you, Feeling. by Rollsoftoiletpaper |
16-Oct-04/8:39 PM |
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lol same here. But shhh thats our secret. :p
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| Re: Damn you, Feeling. by Rollsoftoiletpaper |
16-Oct-04/6:36 PM |
Well I'm glad you got how you were feeling out. Keep your chin up, if that person doesn't realize what a good friend you are, then that's their loss. I know you've probably heard those very same words spoken to you a million times before, but its the truth.
Out of pure curiosity, I'm just wondering how old you are?
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| Re: End by Sasha |
12-Oct-04/7:41 PM |
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Good job Sasha! I loved it. It flowed so smoothly, just rolls off your tongue. So how you been ol' buddy ol' pal?
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| Re: Story Never Told by Sirens_Voice |
12-Oct-04/7:34 PM |
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Good idea, perhaps you could substitute lost for stuck in line 18? Oh and in the 4th to last line maybe say "My story," that way it isn't repeating so much and puts more emphasis on the "fairy tale" idea in the last line. :)
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| Re: a comment on Bracelets In A Box by cuddlytiger17 |
12-Oct-04/7:14 PM |
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Thank you very much. And just in case you'd like to know, Sasha and I resolved our "differences" quite some months ago. Haven't heard from him at all lately though. Ah well. Anyways thanks for the comment, I appreciate it. :)
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| Re: a comment on Feast On Me by cuddlytiger17 |
12-Oct-04/7:03 PM |
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I changed target to armor, is it any better now?
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| Re: a comment on Feast On Me by cuddlytiger17 |
12-Oct-04/3:25 PM |
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Could you elaborate a little more? What's inconsistent in quality, and are you suggesting that maybe I should omit some lines and reword others?
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| Re: a comment on Feast On Me by cuddlytiger17 |
11-Oct-04/1:06 PM |
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I meant the "barrier" as being an emotional shield, and it being torn apart as a target is. Now that I look at it though, you're right, it doesn't make much sense how I worded it...Maybe you have some suggestions as to how I could fix it? That is if you understand what I was trying to say now? Thank you.
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| Re: a comment on Feast On Me by cuddlytiger17 |
10-Oct-04/8:40 PM |
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Oh thanks for ur kindness! lol. haha.
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| Re: a comment on A Reflective Window by lukehanney |
10-Oct-04/6:15 PM |
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ur very welcome. when/if you make any changes let me know, I'd love to see them. :)
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| Re: a comment on Old Man by Rollsoftoiletpaper |
10-Oct-04/6:10 PM |
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| Re: a comment on Call of the Moon by arduinn |
10-Oct-04/6:08 PM |
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| Re: a comment on Feast On Me by cuddlytiger17 |
10-Oct-04/5:04 PM |
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a pimple is generally written by teens expressing "teen angst," and usually isn't very good. They contain very common rhymes and lack word variation.
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| Re: Call of the Moon by arduinn |
9-Oct-04/8:01 PM |
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Last line-should behave be behaving? -7-
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| Re: A Reflective Window by lukehanney |
9-Oct-04/7:56 PM |
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I really liked this. It flows so well. Only problem I had was with the last 2 lines of the 8th stanza. They didn't flow as the rest of the poem did. Otherwise it's really great! ~10~
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| Re: I Cannot Go by TLRufener |
9-Oct-04/7:47 PM |
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It started out alright, but then it got pretty corny.
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| Re: Old Man by Rollsoftoiletpaper |
9-Oct-04/4:01 PM |
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3rd line needs an "r" on "you"
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| Re: At least by Miggy |
9-Oct-04/3:49 PM |
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I really liked it. Good job. The last line of the chorus didn't flow right for me though, but that's just my opinion.
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| Re: a comment on Nothing's Forever by cuddlytiger17 |
8-Oct-04/8:18 PM |
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lol nopes. gotta love it.
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| Re: a comment on I'll Make It Through by cuddlytiger17 |
7-Aug-04/9:36 PM |
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yea i know it could be. its the first one i've ever really written. I'm from central NY, not too far north of syracuse. why?
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