regarding some deleted poem...	28-Aug-02/2:06 AM
Er, that's enjambement. Sorry.
regarding some deleted poem...	28-Aug-02/2:25 AM
Interesting last comment Mrs God... what do you think makes you unbearable? (not that you are). Not wishing to be too personal, but you seem to tread a line between self-confidence and defensiveness in your comments - but I think your real personality comes through in your poems , where you are receptive and sympathetic and erotic. Perhaps poetry really is a higher plane of communication, expressing the most fundamental parts of a person, though I don't think poetry should ever be just about self-expression - 'emotion recollected in tranquillity' and all that.
Re: Hunny by Venus	28-Aug-02/2:40 AM
Reading this again, i don't see how Babbitt can object to the ending. It's a sting in the tail and it saves the poem from being just a lament - the note of defiance and revenge gives a slightly wicked hint of hope. The relationship sounds sounds as if it was once so good....as for Sylvia Plath, you seem far more sane and in control both personally and poetically, and I mean that as a compliment.
regarding some deleted poem...	28-Aug-02/2:48 AM
I like the first stanza the best - it's a pretty accurate dissection of the male mentality. It soudns like most of my mates.
regarding some deleted poem...	28-Aug-02/2:50 AM
I think 'She adored me and so did I' would have been funnier.
regarding some deleted poem...	28-Aug-02/2:51 AM
I think 'She adored me and so did I' would have been funnier.
regarding some deleted poem...	28-Aug-02/2:53 AM
I think 'She adored me and so did I' would have been funnier.
regarding some deleted poem...	28-Aug-02/2:54 AM
But not so funny I had to send it three times. Damn this computer.
Re: Comparisons by anagram	28-Aug-02/2:58 AM
I think this is too specific to you anagram, there's lots of emotion here but it doesn't really seem solid to me, though I like your circular structure.
Re: Awesome Heir by Shin-Bojangles	28-Aug-02/3:07 AM
If you were listening to Golden Years, does that mean you were listening to the Worf Of Godlike Genius that is the album Low? Good Christ I hope so. And look, I just added to your amazing litany of lunacy. I still know nothing about Aragorn. But by jiminy I know my David Bowie.
Re: Three Daughters by <~>	28-Aug-02/3:13 AM
You have a unique vocabulary - 'charmant', 'knurled'. Beautiful stuff. I don't know if I'd want to keep archaims like 'twixt' and 'O'er' and 'dropt', but the aural music of this poem is lovely. This is like a Nordic saga, and that's A Good Thing.
Re: Chew your food! by <{Baba^Yaga}>	28-Aug-02/3:28 AM
This strikes me as a bland meal. Only add salt? You want some cumin in there, maybe some turmeric...a kind of cannibal curry...
regarding some deleted poem...	28-Aug-02/3:29 AM
'stare' not 'stair'. This has no rhythm pulse really, it reads like cut-up prose
regarding some deleted poem...	28-Aug-02/3:32 AM
Why are certain words capitalised?
regarding some deleted poem...	28-Aug-02/3:40 AM
As you may guess from reading my other commetns elsewhere, I don't like archaisms, and 'time has but a hidden arrow/ For to pierce us all' spoils this for me I'm afraid.
Re: The Big NO by alexander	28-Aug-02/3:43 AM
I like this - mysterious and urgent and visceral. The aftermath of what? Is it rape or her own death to whcih she says NO? I like an enigma like this.
regarding some deleted poem...	28-Aug-02/3:48 AM
If, as your name suggets, you don't care about anyone's criticism, how do you think you'll improve as a port? It's all about taking other people's criticisms and suggestions and advice on the chin and learning from it. Otherwise you're just having a one way conversation with your own ego. That said, I don't think your poem is as bad as God's wife does. While it's formally messy, there is a genuine emotional pull.
regarding some deleted poem...	28-Aug-02/7:24 AM
Absolutely smashing
Re: Suicide III by disturbedone182	28-Aug-02/7:35 AM
Please write about something else. Or if you're going to do teenage angst, do it with humour. Think of Morrissey - he's a funny chap, his irony undercuts all that 'to die by your side' stuff, and that is truly touching. Whereas this is bogus (judging by the fact that you're alive enough to post this). If you need help, get help; if this is meant as poetry, well, it ain't.
Re: Suicide I by disturbedone182	28-Aug-02/7:37 AM
See comments on Suicide III. Please.