Re: believing by whispern_smoke_wisp	16-Apr-05/5:07 AM
This is the most egregiously simple-minded philosophy I have ever read in my whole life. Apart from the grafitti on the toilet wall that says 'I didn't write this'. But that's beside the point. The point is that as soon as we all agreed to believe in this supreme power, we'd all then start to argue about what it looked like, what sex it was, what it actually did... adn then, hey presto! We have the last 6000 years of history ALL OVER AGAIN. I think I'll pass on that thanks. And at the same time, I'll pass on this poem, which isn't so much a poem as a mis-spelled, unrhythmical and ultimately whimsical bit of cracker-barrel wiseacreliness. Listen to Zodiac.
regarding some deleted poem...	22-Apr-05/2:16 AM
This actually isn't too bad, but what exactly are you talking about in stanza 3. You imply that a cool mountain stream is the same as an angel reaching for Satan. Is this true?
regarding some deleted poem...	22-Apr-05/2:17 AM
Nauseating.
Re: Baggage (3rd ending) by INTRANSIT	22-Apr-05/2:19 AM
Really good stuff. I like the 'why chromosomes' pun. This short and sharp. Top marks, my friend.
Re: thoughts by not_a_philosopher	22-Apr-05/2:22 AM
Then why don't you write them down?
regarding some deleted poem...	28-Apr-05/9:38 AM
I don't wish to be rude but... are you really doing an MA? This is at once very different from other stuff you've written (which is good) and still absolutely awful What the HELL is a meta-goal? You have just heard the word 'meta', haven't you, and now you're using it whenever possible. But you seem to have forgotten the important 'meta', which is at the heat of that stuff we call poetry - metaphor - the use of which would prevent the production of streams of unmediated claptrap like this.
Re: Ransom by windyone	19-May-05/9:09 AM
Where does the ransom come into it?
regarding some deleted poem...	29-Jan-07/8:24 AM
I quite like the bit about the wood beetle. I don't really understand what you're driving at though.
regarding some deleted poem...	29-Jan-07/8:25 AM
Wordy, prosey, prolix. Reduce in lenghth by at least a half and try to put some music into your lines.
Re: The Passing by Stephen Robins	29-Jan-07/8:27 AM
This made me laugh. That is a good thing.
Re: Israel (Through The Eyes Of One Jewish Soul) by slana5	29-Jan-07/8:30 AM
The problems with this could all be sorted out by substituting the word 'ISRAEL' with the word 'NEWPORT PAGNELL'.
Re: The first time in forever by Jeremi B. Handrinos	29-Jan-07/8:34 AM
This is great - controlled, wry, well-paced, dispassionate but bursting with sadness. Lovely lovely stuff.
Re: Eleven Reasons For Love by horus8	19-Jun-07/4:01 AM
Horus It's been a long time since I last came here and some of the old timers have gone - where is God'swife's poetry? - but how good to see you're still here, still spitting it out according to your own personal rhythm - I like it.
Re: Bookends by INTRANSIT	19-Jun-07/4:04 AM
This is really new from you! This like Ezra Pound meets Lenny Bruce - really enjoyable and funny and letting its satirical teeth gleam. It's good to be abck on the 'ranker. The end of a very long dry spell has brought me back and it's good to see old friends here.
regarding some deleted poem...	21-Jun-07/1:37 AM
It's good to see I've annoyed you enough to warrant my own composed-in-ten-seconds poem. Immortality at last! Thanks, and excuse me while I wilt under the heat of your satirical laser beam.
Re: Just Another Reason by Skamper	21-Jun-07/6:48 AM
Do you have kids? This does sound like the conversation a parent has with himself whenever the darling child misbehaves. A typo in 'offspring' but otherwise I like this, it's a good bit of polemic.
Re: grim task by lmp	21-Jun-07/7:35 AM
The villanelle is tough little nut to crack and i think this pretty damn good. I don't really like 'ev'ry' - I think the metre would make the syllabic count of the word clear, and it would be nice not to have that archaism. But it's only a small thing and it's made up for by 'wet silty clay' - you've obviously been digging in my garden. Not wanting to get pulled into the British pomposity argument above but - really, the Brits don't have the monopoly on pomposity. Our most pompous novelists are laugh riots next to Dom de Lillo or Sinclair Lewis and as for linguistic rigidity - have you seen the New Yorker? It's like Edith Wharton never died.
regarding some deleted poem...	22-Jun-07/1:18 AM
OK Rockmage, this is interesting. I also hate poets who basically masturbating onto the page. I agree with you that it's all wrong. But, I think it's a very hard charge to level. because, to some extent, isn't all creativity, other than producing children, a form of masturbation? The charge you make could be levelled at all writers, good and bad, as Seamus heaney says in the quote left by Dental Panic. If that is your sole criterion for criticising poetry, there's really no way forward. And how do you decide on the poems worthy of a ten? I think you're down a critical blind alley.
regarding some deleted poem...	27-Jun-07/4:07 AM
Well, you've proved that you can both think and write like a functioning human. I really rather like this and I think the 'grey on grey' is very accurate. Look, I've even given you a 7 becuase, unlike you, I don't operate some crazy binary system of voting and because I don't automatically assume people's work to be either utterly worthless or works of outstanding genius. This is good stuff.
regarding some deleted poem...	27-Jun-07/4:13 AM
A few typos here - first line. 5th line of 3rd stanza. Atmospheric though with a nice link from the present to the past to the future - a good concertina-ing effect. Have read 'Adlestrop' by Edward Thomas?