nicole081083
replying on Lower than low by nicole081083
29 May 2005, 7:13 PM
This song just hit me as I was praying one night. I don't feel that I need to try to convince someone that I believe, because I know, and so does God, and that's all that matters.
Remarkable. 'There goes my last limb, but ain't we got fun!'
Long and short lines are balanced well. At the very end you soften up, a pity.
The political and ethnic situation is a highly complicated one, even for Europeans. I think you gave a quite truthful account. Or rather, not an account, but a convincing taste of the Central-European climate.
The poem isn't boring at all.
nice...and it made sense
That type of cycle is far too obvious. This poem is not about that kind of cycle but an emotional cycle and how it manifests itself.
This is what confuses me: When you mix blood with -cycle you get visions of a menstruation, but you start with blade. Self induced abortion? I also read -wears a jumper in summer (red)instead of (and). I don't know why.
Just a new way of saying 10. I read this aloud to my wife last night and came across other little nits, I'm sure Z-ac knows where they are and how to fix'em.
Ooooh, you are a pernickety little thing aren't you? Think about it...the cycle is closed, like the water cycle. An evaporation thus condenses on her body though it could equally stay in the same state but it has obviously been affected by further factors which force it into this transitional state. The cycle is closed but there is obviously a fault to the cycle in that is is dammed...it is not able to fuction properly without a plug. I have tried to answer your criticism though i do not believe you had a point to answer in the first place.
At what point does a number become so large that it is 'nearly infinite'? Anything more than a killion, I'd say.
Funny. This view on insecurity is narrated in a too self-assured tone...
'Metrics all the way'??
Originally, It wasn't meant to be a posting but to be tossed between them during. Zodiac hadn't been around in a while so I chunked it out here because, at the moment, I have nothing (I) feel is worthy of efforting. Maybe it'll bloom. Maybe not.
Because Beta usually follows alpha or precedes -max, I have problem here. If it is an actual name for fact keeping purposes, then ignore this. When you said navel I thought she might be pregnant which would have worked as well but I didn't write it and there's nothing wrong with your choice.
If I was female, I'd be wrung. Metrics all the way.
This is the first board I know of where poems can be altered after posting. Confusing. Because I understood that it erases all comments, but mine is still there I see.
I didn't mean to be gruff. There is also resonating proze. No objections to blending proze and poetry but 'Secret press'is on a danger line. It's obvious you Americans are fond of stuff like this.
I think it's poetry. Like the way the spin-wringer resonates through the stanzas. Doctrines and doctrines.
I wasn't sure what to do with the title. I wrote it about her, so I saw it fitting.
Thanks for the tips :)
It's like you said yourself Intransit: just some junk. There is hardly a story, while it suggests there is one, and what there is, is badly told.
There is so much more to be made out of this.
Yeah, great. A pity it isn't poetry.
I think it should be he's, not she's.
With a crooked smile, I rejoice.
With a heavy heart, I confess.