Thanks for explaining. I think you mean to say something here, and I’m trying to sort it out. I will consider using some of your points in future poems. I do wish you’d be more direct, though. Adjective phrases like “Pants sagging shamefully” and “Seeming a bit lazy,” however, leave me wondering.

Jacob couldn't find his pistol. It's not nice to see depression in a middle-aged person, but I thik I see what you mean.

Oh, so it's in the MOST then. Thanks.

Forgive me if I'm just arguing semantics, but I believe he meant that a poem must make use of both its sound and its sense. That doesen't necessarily mean a pleasant euphony must be sustained. For example when Yeats mentions "all dishevelled wandering stars" he uses cacophony. Also Emanuel di Pasquale does with "The rain hushes the surface of tin porches." Sappho too when she inserts a single cacophonic line into her Greek stanza to immitate the whirr and flap of Sparrow's wings as they draw Aphrodite's heavenly chariot: ἄρμ' ὐπαδεύξαισα· κάλοι δέ σ' ἆγον ὤκεες στροῦθοι περὶ γᾶς μελαίνας πύκνα διννεντες πτέρ' ἀπ' ὠράνωἴθε- ρας διὰ μέσσω. Had your carriage yoked in a blink to sparrows As they drew you quick as a wink above the Sultry earth, with flaps in a blur, careening, Down from your cover, Yes, that's Greek. And I'm a pretentious precocious little fuck

Sorry that's Summum philisophy no Sumnum.

What exactly is an atheist? If a person doesn't believe in any religion, why argue with them? Seems like arguing with a brick wall to me. Besides no matter how you look at it you end up with something coming from nothing. If I were to define God at this point in my life I'd say God is the infinate potential that must exist within infinate nothingness. Look up the Sumnum philisophy. If you have infinate potential then why not have any darn thing you want exist including God or whatever. If you say God is beyond our imagination than God stands above all things we see or imagine. The big bang seperates nothingness and infinate potential into matter and anti-matter. So this is my obviously biased take on creation. I choose to believe because in my heart it feels write, because I just want to. So faith and belief are basically whatever floats your boat.

In some parts yes. Now! all three of ya. Get out of my box.

Good point. I'll try omitting some of those words like the "are" in "My feet are wearing..." and "as" in "As my zombified..." and then I'll see if it still holds it's rythm. I'll get back to you on that.

I wasn't asked, but I wonder - Do you think the following poem is lyrical and/or musical? http://www.poems.com/heroimus.htm

Boring in the extreme, Wishing you'd get to the point, Seeming a bit lazy, actually, creative or striking phrasings shunned, Pants sagging shamefully, Overused in bad poetry, Easy to fit in nice bad-poetic lines, All your sentences basically simple-present main clauses, Then long strings of adjective phrases, Meaning ALL of your sentences. Not agreeing subjects and verbs, Seeming in stanza two like the sack is plucking corn, Idly wondering if you see it yet.

Thanks for your comment.but I didn't find anything romantic about it.

Thank you for your comment.