Bethy
replying on The Big Stupid Dink :) :) by Bethy
23 Aug 2005, 5:25 PM
Awww Thanks AL...and your right...I love Erma's words...my friends and I call HIM... "Needle Dick the Bug Fucker"...but it was hard to fit it into my poem...Whaaaa...! :) Bethy hehheehe ha!
Thank you INTRANSIT...gosh darn right...lol...:) Bethy
I want to go to Palermo and beat the crap out of somebody or give them all roses
When you say ":) :)" in the title, I wonder if it's tongue-in-cheek. As I read, I think not. Maybe :-(
And "Stupid" means something like "Arogant"
Shave your legs, girl, put on a dress, and have a drink. That's what I do.
Kind of an Erma Bombeck rant. Dink will get a laugh no matter where you use it.
Most men will turn Big Dink into a complement. It's just the way our egos work.
He didn't deserve a poem anyway.
Yes. We had a cat named Joe. Nicknamed him Giuseppe.
mostly normal stuff. Stealing Dr. Hook is worth goin' after him for.
I also misspelled "infinite" and "separates".
Thanks D. I'm a notorious misspeller but even that one embarrasses me.
I like the somber rhythm. Wish you'd spell out linoleum.
Powerful stuff but "rubbing herself till I cried." was kinda creepy.
Actually I think it might need to be phrased "nor on tenterhooks"
Aren't Sonnets suppose to have 10 syllables in each line?!
Hurts my brain, but worth it
I second what alchemy said and this is an awesome piece of writing - definitely in the top 10 I've read on here and elsewhere.
Last line should be tenderhooks
I hate the restrictions of the sonnet form. But I guess if you give up the stricter Shakespearean ties, then its much easier.
I think "we" would be better in "You let it go" to keep it personal.
You could drop "ours" in "and then it wasn't ours"
What are tenterhooks?
The colons distract. Periods would be better.
I would make the sex more tender in keeping with the nostalgia of the occasion.
Be careful! He could hit you with wisdom like, "Yes, but have you ever noticed that I'm an atheist and I can spell right correctly, while, whatever you believe, you can't?"
Then you have at least one belief.
re ânorâ: I see your point about the wording and agree that yours is clearer. But I want to stress that she has an emotion (feeling) concerning the hand below her rib, not just a physical feeling. The angel might understand the physical feeling, but not the emotion.
The poem is whimsical and non-doctrinal, as we have both said. So why are you bring the Bible into it?
The last verse is a metaphor for a man, and the whole poem could be interpreted that way. Since Iâve used the plural, angels, throughout the poem, it seems fair to say in the last verse that one particular angel (or man) is different from the others. Therefore the man/angel has not changed his nature. Maybe I could make that more clear.
Thanks for your comments.