I have usually sacrificed flow for novelty or for saying more precisely what I want to say. I may be more of a storywriter than a poet. In this case, I tried for the terse atmosphere of computers, which struck me as man-like. I tried to compare that with the more feminine nature of programmers, by comparison. Thanks for your comment.

What is wrong with ambiguity? ambiguity can lead you down multiple paths from one sentance (I see no fault in that). Goth/Dark is where I have come from, and am leaving since it no longer reflects my emotions most of the time (and is also somewhat childish). And grammerlessness (deliberate), well that is a bit of a fault, so suggestions rather than complaints would be welcome.

Now I know that you have to be a fool. :->

Why not give me a detailed answer but a info@cyan9.com instead. I believe poetry is something that should be fostered within yourself rather than studied. If you want to appreciate new techniques and ideas, then either experiment with old ones, or create new ones for yourself, and do as you heart commands rather than as the lecturer does. I could not bare to study this in a degree, and so opted for a close favourite in computing, where I could at least guarantee that I might get a job. Hence my stance, that you would have to be a fool to study poetry as a majors. As far as the Updike business goes, don't even try it. It is unverifiable over the internet for starters, and secondly you stated that you were 32 years old, John Updike the writer was born in 1932; unless you are clumsey with your keys, or just plain forgetful, I would be inclined to think otherwise.

I used an ordinary dictionary, not a medical one. Wouldn't most people do that?

(ivxmciii) Allright mofo, move it along.

No Deal. You are welcome and hopefully encouraged to leave anything of reasonable thought, of which you are obviously capable, and as I have said to zodiac, I regard this communication as interesting, worthwhile and positive (although a little annoying to start with).

Point taken. I do recogize my frustration as invalid however, and due to having a short amount of time to appreciate each piece, and my annoyance when in that short time there is nothing to appreciate. As I have stated in my lengthy response elsewhere, I do regard this communication as interesting, and something positive rather than a waste of time.

part 2: Regarding your comments on spelling and punctuation: (1) Perhaps suggesting improvements rather than saying this is poor, could make your opinion seem more qualified, and of use. (2) I have noticed here that you are pre-occupied on what has been, what is stated in books, no wonder everything seems formulaic to you. You disregard my advice to see things for what they are as rarely going over “even when they come from real authors”. You will not be able to understand a large quantity of work nor be able to appreciate other people’s creativity or originality with this mind, if you continue to regard everything as being driven by a formula. An example of this thought is the statement "There's no such thing as continuous verse.", you go for the dictionary, rather than reading and using your imagination to determine what is being said (this is a good example of why I say your appreciation lacks imagination). You have sited on your ‘About’ section, that people should not bother having arguments about originality with you… I assume you’ve had a lot of them, and hopefully over time you may listen to what is said about you. (3) On a more Jovial note, before trying to correct peoples spelling, you may want to check that you are right before hand, for example by looking up the word ‘mana’ as below: mana Dictionary ma•na (mä'nə) n. 1. A supernatural force believed to dwell in a person or sacred object. 2. Power; authority. Is used as a reference to a supernatural force from the sky (not necessarily divine) over: manna Dictionary man•na (măn'ə) n. 1. In the Bible, the food miraculously provided for the Israelites in the wilderness during their flight from Egypt. 2. Spiritual nourishment of divine origin. 3. Something of value that a person receives unexpectedly: viewed the bonus as manna from heaven. 4. The dried exudate of certain plants, as that of the Mediterranean ash tree, formerly used as a laxative. 5. A sweet granular substance excreted on the leaves of plants by certain insects, especially aphids, and often harvested by ants. However in retrospect the definition number 2 above (spiritual nourishment) could have added to the work (if anyone knew this). In regards to: “I feel most of this came across in my first, admittedly cynical message. I highly doubt you'll welcome this feedback, or even read it this far. Do not suggest I lack imagination or ability as far as reading your poem goes. Thanks. Have a nice day.” I will leave the comments about childishness and underdevelopment out in future, but please comment and read with a little more of the thought that you are capable of. In your defence, annoying as this dispute has been, it has provided more of interest that the comments of most, and I would therfore count this dispute in your favour rather than otherwise. And as for the “Have a nice Day”, you are welcome, since I am indeed having a very nice day.

Thanks. I never got around to saying for obvious reasons that your poems have that same sense of flow. I think we both tend to lean towards the musical effect of poetry. I bet you'd appreciate the works of E.A. Poe. He was really my introduction into poetry.

This kind of thought and critique is welcome, it shows that this is less than a petty hack, and more of a criticism that you wish to vigourously defend (either through conviction in your opinion or saving face). I find this piece highly origional (I have never seen another like it), it depicts the way I feel whilst lying in the sun deep in thought, a way of calming my mind. The transportation describes the way I move through states of mind back into calmness after a stormy week. In regards to the comment: "Eminations, vortices, tunnels and such are so often repeated these days" I don’t believe that they are, and have not witnessed such repetition. Perhaps a couple of examples would strengthen your argument. In response to: "Phrases like a "haze of brightness" pull their punches, going for a standard or vague formulation rather than working to evoke an actual image or impression" I would say that the piece describes a period of lazing in the sun (beneath the willow tree (though not mentioned)), starting to evoke the 'power' of thought with the drawing of the symbol in the sky. The transportation and surgery points to the ride and the benefit of this thought; awakening after sorting my head out from a chaotic week. The poem describes the solely the ride, not the cognition, and so avoids bringing individual thoughts or references to thought into the work. I am dubious that you allowed yourself to be taken on this journey, and I believe you have missed the point, that was to describe that ride. I believe it does evoke intense and mind manifesting imagery, a view that is shared by people who have commented on other sites such as allpoetry.com for example.

(ii) Yeah like why should I obay that cop just because he has that shiny badge and all.

Sorry. But you're one of the few good enough to make a living at it. That's why I don't even bother to give you a score. Students don't grade teachers.

I'd love to give you a detailed answer on that but your previous arguement shows that it's a waste of time. If I told you my name was John Updike would that make a difference. Sure, you'd say more like Up Johnsdick. (something a wise man once said)^

(i) Why not just ask him something only a major in his field would know? If he's not a real graduate and knows it anyway, are you really going to disrespect him for that? (ii) Saying "You should listen to me on X because I have a degree in X" is bound to only get you swirlied in any crowd.

I bet you are cute, Shorty.

Me. You knew that.

Are you still? See it's kinda fun DS.

Are you trumping?