Re: a comment on Sunlighting by ALChemy	ALChemy 24.74.101.159	6-Jan-06/7:32 AM
To do it your way would pull the fragmented sentence farther away from the sentence it's complementing.
Re: a comment on Sunlighting by ALChemy	ALChemy 24.74.101.159	6-Jan-06/7:21 AM
"To be or not to be: that is the question." Thank God Willy didn't listen to you. I may need a comma though, I'll give you that, or a colon after "sarong" and "caress". Punctuation isn't my strong point. What kind of sentence is "Eternal pasteless now." by the way? Oh I see it's different when you do it. In short, of course it's not a complete sentence. So.
Re: a comment on This Is Me by PoeticXTC	Niphredil 192.115.19.60	6-Jan-06/2:29 AM
Excuse me? "Soft, cushy, tushy never missed by eyes. Surrounded by thick, ham like thighs." Is this a description of your personality? Because if it is, I beg pardon, you're obviously very interesting... I assure you I caught your *point* in the poem, since it was glaringly obvious. But my previous statements still hold; you leave no room for thought, and instead you bombard the reader with a one-sided statement. It's like being force-fed. You don't really enjoy the food.
Re: a comment on Sunlighting by ALChemy	Dovina 69.175.32.104	5-Jan-06/8:00 PM
The word "that" makes it not a sentence.
Re: a comment on Sunlighting by ALChemy	ALChemy 24.74.101.159	5-Jan-06/7:47 PM
Thanks D. It's certainly more efficient but by stretching the sentence I think it causes the reader to linger on the images a little longer. But I'm still considering it.
Re: greymo(u)rn by lmp	Dovina 69.175.32.104	5-Jan-06/7:41 PM
Some nice thoughts here. It's a prose poem at best. Not free verse. As a short story it might be better. I see no reason for not introducing a Short Story category, under 500 words.
Re: Sunlighting by ALChemy	Dovina 69.175.32.104	5-Jan-06/7:29 PM
A lovely, fanciful expression. I think "emerald dress that stretches to the horizon’s hem" would sound better and become grammatical as "emerald dress stretches to horizon’s hem"
Re: a comment on The Forgetting by Dovina	zodiac 216.67.6.96	5-Jan-06/5:10 PM
Kindly do not assume what I do or don't assume. If you read the aboveposted text years ago, forgot it, and then rewrote it, that's still plagiarism, albeit obviously accidental plagiarism. There are myriad cases of similar things happening. If you've somehow independently written this without ANY prior experience with the text, I'm sorry I said you were a plagiarist. For what that's worth. In either event, it would obviously still be a good idea, if not your responsibility, to rewrite or withdraw your version. Yes, the fact that you've based your poem on a wordplay on a not-exactly-familiar phrase, "eternal pastless now", made me think you were thinking of some original phrase or text you knew. I cannot see how you'd think "eternal pasteless now" was clever or worthwhile otherwise. Again, I'm sorry about this whole thing. I didn't wake up this beautiful snowy Alaska morning thinking I was going to be mean to you. I'd like to start being nice to you now, so maybe it's best we let this whole thing go for today.
Re: MEANinglessness by lmp	ALChemy 24.74.101.159	5-Jan-06/4:10 PM
I think you have a good idea for what a prose poem should be. I think this one just needs more ambience.
Re: a comment on The Forgetting by Dovina	Dovina 69.175.32.104	5-Jan-06/1:30 PM
I read “The Corrections” by Jonathan Franzen a couple of years ago, the same author who wrote “My Father’s Brain” which you cited and in which he quotes David Shenk. “The Corrections” deals with old age issues and may contain some of the same language David Shenk used. I’d have to go through it again to know. What I do know is that phrases stick in my head and tend to come out in my writing even if I read them years before. Of course, you always assume the worst and call it the most logical.
Re: a comment on The Forgetting by Dovina	zodiac 209.193.14.78	5-Jan-06/11:16 AM
That's fine. Whatever.
Re: a comment on The Forgetting by Dovina	Dovina 69.175.32.104	5-Jan-06/11:01 AM
I did not know about that book. Nothing is copied.
Re: Divorcing Tennessee by Dovina	PoeticXTC 205.188.116.139	5-Jan-06/11:01 AM
I'm not from the south so I couldn't relate. But just through your description it's as if I was there and I knew all about it.
Re: a comment on The Forgetting by Dovina	zodiac 209.193.18.109	5-Jan-06/11:00 AM
I don't want to argue about it; it's just that I find that impossible to believe. Look, I can practically write your poem from article quotes: "The Forgetting" "you stoop to smell a rose," "the same rose" "that you've been stooping to smell" "all morning" ... "delicious in oblivion" "eternal, pastless Now" No, "he tasted everything new" isn't in the article. But it's not grammatical either. Take credit for it if you like. Look, I'm really, really, REALLY not looking to give you a hard time. The only reason I know about the article is that I was looking up a poem I remembered with the narrator stooping to smell a rose (Edmund Waller, maybe?) to congratulate you on referencing it. Let's let the readers decide for themselves. I'd personally like to believe you read New Yorker, The Guardian, or obscure neurology texts.
Re: a comment on This Is Me by PoeticXTC	PoeticXTC 205.188.117.13	5-Jan-06/10:52 AM
Lmao, I'm fine with the way I look. I get the men I want and then some.. So ZODIAC me being not so good looking to you isn't my problem; it's yours.
Re: a comment on The Forgetting by Dovina	Dovina 69.175.32.104	5-Jan-06/10:51 AM
I did not know about that book. Nothing is copied.
Re: a comment on Sunlighting by ALChemy	ALChemy 24.74.101.159	5-Jan-06/10:24 AM
OK done deal. Dawn stays.
Re: a comment on Romans 8:28 by amanda_dcosta	ALChemy 24.74.101.159	5-Jan-06/10:08 AM
Most people go to these far off places in search of adventure. You just seem to get Forest Gumped into them. Lucky for you, you're a writer.
Re: a comment on The Forgetting by Dovina	zodiac 209.193.9.200	5-Jan-06/10:00 AM
ZODIAC: ***PLAGIARY ALERT*** Dovina: Not so. I changed pastless to pasteless. It's an allusion. ZODIAC: The title, central image, and 95% of the words aren't yours. DOVINA: I'm an illusion. ZODIAC: I don't have time for this. You've been warned. Again.
Re: a comment on The Forgetting by Dovina	ALChemy 24.74.101.159	5-Jan-06/9:53 AM
Sometimes man, you just plain old scare me.