Re: a comment on There by Dovina	ALChemy 24.74.100.11	6-Mar-06/6:45 AM
I'm sure he has a very special and undoubtedly hilarious place set aside for you when you finally decide things are getting too boring on earth and unplug your dialisis machine. Your right, I think the Indiana Jones test should be mandatory.
Re: A HANGMAN'S MOANING by Dhanesh M Kumar	Caducus 172.143.151.6	6-Mar-06/4:02 AM
Intersting concept and not badly penned.
Re: a comment on A HANGMAN'S MOANING by Dhanesh M Kumar	Dhanesh M Kumar 220.226.17.35	6-Mar-06/3:48 AM
Hi Richa, Thank you for the comments.But I feel that your suggestions might hamper the rhythm of the poem.
Re: a comment on A HANGMAN'S MOANING by Dhanesh M Kumar	Dhanesh M Kumar 220.226.17.35	6-Mar-06/3:40 AM
Hi Ranger, Thank you for the comment. The penultimate line explains the helplessness of the hangman.
Re: Pelted with stones on the common by Bobjim	xXxDemonicAngelxXx 152.163.100.6	5-Mar-06/6:23 PM
I think it's a really good poem. I didn't really like the line 'I'd rather be eaten by sharks.' I don't know, that line just didn't really flow to me. But it was a great poem over all.
Re: a comment on Lick up your ears by Dental Panic	Dental Panic 84.27.6.94	5-Mar-06/4:23 PM
much thanks form a grateful drunk.
Re: a comment on Lick up your ears by Dental Panic	Dental Panic 84.27.6.94	5-Mar-06/4:22 PM
No. Stephen Frears.
Re: a comment on There by Dovina	-=Dark_Angel=-, P.I. 86.135.203.170	5-Mar-06/3:37 PM
Did you know that when the mob caught Jesu in Gethsemane, He was hiding in a burrow? Numerous eye witness counts testify to this fact, but they have been airbrushed from history because early Christians found the concept of a subterranean deity undignifying. My own view is that burrows can provide excellent cover if you're about to be crucified for the sins of mankind.
Re: a comment on There by Dovina	-=Dark_Angel=-, P.I. 86.135.203.170	5-Mar-06/3:29 PM
He should subject both of them to an elaborate series of physical and mental trials, quite like the ones Indiana Jones has to pass to get to the Holy Grail. The whole affair should be conducted like an episode of The Crystal Maze. If they pass, they get to go to Heaven, and they also win an adventure holiday in the Lake District. If they fail, they have to hand their badges back to the commissioner, then sit in the corner and think about what they've done.
Re: a comment on There by Dovina	ALChemy 24.74.100.11	5-Mar-06/1:52 PM
Hypothetical question: You show up at Heaven. Let's say God doesn't know anything about you but you bring a freind to Heaven who he also doesn't know very much about except what others have told him about your friend. Your friend testifies on your behalf that you are a truly good person and are worthy of God's acceptance. Should God let you in to Heaven right away or should he take your friend's testimony with a grain of salt and get to know you himself before letting you in?
Re: A HANGMAN'S MOANING by Dhanesh M Kumar	richa 81.178.217.160	5-Mar-06/1:36 PM
'Alas doing for the sake of bread' is garbled. Something like 'hanging men for the bread on my table' makes more sense. 'The justice perhaps may'- No 'the' perhaps and maybe mean the same thing (in this context) so you should ditch one. 'Justice may have a thousand reasons' would be more obvious. 'to make him stranglehold' should be 'to strangle him' and the man does not surmount the knot. The knot is atop him. A mind can not realistically be said to be brittle because it is non-material. 'agonized faces many I have seen' should probably be 'I have seen many agonising faces'.
Re: a comment on There by Dovina	ALChemy 24.74.100.11	5-Mar-06/1:35 PM
See Amanda, I'm not the only one. By the way D.A. the dung smell is Beelzebub. He's shaking his fist at you and God saying "Consarn you!".
Re: a comment on There by Dovina	ALChemy 24.74.100.11	5-Mar-06/1:21 PM
"Imagine there's no heaven, it's easy if you try..."
Re: Sarah's Song by wilco	Ranger 62.252.32.15	5-Mar-06/11:01 AM
Something caught in the back of my throat.
Re: a comment on This God of mine by Bobjim	Ranger 62.252.32.15	5-Mar-06/10:37 AM
You wouldn't have made a good Roman. The last stanza's pretty good, actually.
Re: At Last in the Garden by ecargo	Niphredil 192.117.117.50	5-Mar-06/10:30 AM
Heh. I knew this was gonna be good once I read the first line. :-) I thought the contrast between the surging, wild second stanza and the sudden lull in the third was great; I love your imagery.
Re: Lick up your ears by Dental Panic	Ranger 62.252.32.15	5-Mar-06/10:25 AM
I love 'virtuoso sluggish grater', a drunk trying to say 'guitar', always amusing. This is very good indeed!
Re: A HANGMAN'S MOANING by Dhanesh M Kumar	Ranger 62.252.32.15	5-Mar-06/10:22 AM
Not bad at all, although it could do with a little more punctuation - 'agonized faces many I have seen' needs to be something like '...faces - many I have seen'. And so on. I wasn't sure about the penultimate line but I do like the final line being the first line repeated.
Re: The Final Night by xXxDemonicAngelxXx	Ranger 62.252.32.15	5-Mar-06/10:19 AM
I quite liked this, although I admit that I skimmed over the repeated verses. The subject was dealt with quite well - I'd be interested to see what you could do by rewriting this, but not in first-person. The final message is good, but I read this with the constant longing for a bit more detail, a bit more description. Still, good stuff.
Re: At Last in the Garden by ecargo	Ranger 62.252.32.15	5-Mar-06/10:14 AM
Stanza 2...awesome. Just awesome. 'Flat rewards that shimmer like false water' is absolutely fantastic! 'Scorpion comfort' is equally as good. Stanza 1 repulsed me. In a good way, that is.